Her not so fortuitous Love

Chapter # 24

Aiden POV:-

We are again back to that turn of our lives where Jessica will show that she loves me but never admit it. Her heart desires me but she can't do it as she rejects me. She is so close to me but at the same time,  she is too far..  So far that even if I reach my hand out to her,  she can't reach it because her apprehensions and insecurities will pull her back. She is close to me, she resides in me and I reside in her heart but she can't apprehend to the sound of my heartbeat. She was lost in abysmal thoughts and before I made a mistake like before or did something she did, leaving us shattered, I needed to talk to her.

The pools of unclear thought will only fade away only if we consult. But she doesn't cooperate, she is just pushing herself away from me but I will not let it slip away that easily, before we both make an irredeemable mistake, I need to do something. 

I reached home early. Jessica greeted me as usual. I freshened up and saw Father and Mother talking. Father saw me and came to me.

“Ah, Son, I was looking for you.” Father said. 

“Yes, Father?” I asked. 

“You know we have a business meeting in california.”

“Yeah. What about it?”

“Did you tell Jessica about it?” My mouth gaped as I ran my one hand in my hair and turned to Jessica and gave her an apologetic look.

“Sorry.. I forget.” Jessica tilted her head and passed me an assuring smile and said, “It’s okay.” I smiled and my father laughed. “You don’t have to worry about it. I was thinking that me and your mother should go. You guys can stay here if you want.” I glanced at Jessica and smiled, “As long as I have Jessica staying with me.” I said. They both laughed as Jessica looked away. 

“Very well then. We will leave tonight. You enjoy yourself.” Father said. I nodded while chuckling. 

We then had dinner and after saying goodbye to Father, I went to our room. 

I leaned on my chair, rubbing my temples as Jessica came.

“You okay, Aiden?” She asked sitting on the bed. 

“Yeah..” I trailed off. Should I talk to her? I grit my teeth and stood up. I laid on my side and covered myself with the blanket.

“Aiden..Are-”

“Yes, Jessica, I am just tired.” I shrugged her off and drifted to sleep. 

It’s Sunday and I have decided that I am tired of this. I was in our room, reading a book then she came and called me to have lunch. 

“Wait Jessica.” I called her. She stopped in her tracks and turned to me. 

“Come and sit. I need to talk to you.” I motioned her to sit next to me. She nodded and sat beside me. I took a deep breath and began to say,

“Jessica you said before our marriage that you might or might not fall in love with me.. which has more chances?” She looked at me and slowly lowered her gaze. My heart pricked seeing her like this.

“Can’t this happen that you love me? Are we going to spend the rest of our lives like this?” I asked, hoping to give her a shred of affection in her eyes but then I realized that her heart stopped beating for me long ago. An empty laugh escaped my lips as I scoffed, “But you can't do it.. you spend years forgetting about me afterall..” I turned to her and looked at her in extensive yet unwanted anger, “Beside, my suffering never counts… how i died to meet you just for once and beg for forgiveness.” Upon saying what my heart wanted. A tear pricked in the corner of my eyes as I felt like my heart was being torn into million pieces. An ultimate grief took over me as I turned my head away. She just kept looking down which pushed me into the abyss more. At Least show a hint of emotion, I curled my hands in a fist, not being able to bear this tribulation anymore. Heartbroken and utterly devastated, I stood up and was about to leave but she held my  hand weakly. I turned to look at her. Her face was covered with her hairs falling on her face but i can clearly see that tears falling on her hand. My cold gaze yet fragmented gaze softened for a second, seeing her like this. She let out a soft sob and ebgan to say feebly, 

“I am sorry.. Please forgive me.. I.. I know I have hurt you a lot.. Lost in the despair and insurity to love you again I become blind.. I lost my track.. I know you want to live a normal.. to be loved by your wife and I gave you nothing but misery.. I am so sorry for it, Aiden.. It’s all my fault.. I have forgotten what my love is..” She said between her faint sobs. A tear rolled from the corner of my eyes. I gripped her hand in a firm grip and bent on my knees, in front of her. I removed the hairs falling on her face and pushed them back to have a clear look of her face which was glistening in tears. I cupped her cheek with my other hand and smiled weakly as I began to say in a croaky voice,

“Jessica before leaving you said that you’ll try your best to forget me and i asked myself this question every day, ‘what if I can’t forget you?’... Jessica.. I have waited for you all these years and I honestly don’t think that I can marry any other woman than you… I thought my one mistake of not realizing my feelings soon will become my devastation and my dream to marry you will be shattered.. I was sure that you won’t love me that you will not agree to marry me.. but when you agreed.. I just can’t tell how happy it made me.. I felt like life has given me a chance to make things right.. I thought we both would destroy our lives but believe me Jessica your presence gave me immense solace..” A tear fell from my ear directly to her hand. She kept on crying and I continued to swallow the lump in my throat to contain my feelings and not to cry but it was so hard. Jessicasob become loud as her grip on my hand tightened. She lowered her head and put our hand close to her mouth and kissed it and then out it over her forehead and began to cry, “I am sorry. I am so sorry Aiden.. I just don’t didn’t realize what I should do.. I let my redemption slip out of my grasp.. i am so sorry..” She cried. A sas smile crept upon my lips as I wiped her tears, “Shh.. don’t cry.. It’s not your fault.” I said, soothing her as she continued,

“I spent years forgetting you.. i thought i can forget you but Aiden.. you  forget people you want to lose.. I.. I don’t want to lose you.. When I came back.. I thought that I could confiscate my feelings but I can't Aiden..” She wiped her tears and continued, “Adien.. Even if I try to isolate myself from you, even if I put a wall between us my heart will always remain yours. You will always have my heart… Aiden I..” I put my index finger over her lips and said before her, “I love you too. I love you so much that it hurts to see your tears. Jessica, in every second.. in every moment of my life, i seek you. My heart ws uneasy but when I saw you every wave of serenity rushed in.. you are everything I need Jesscica. I love you..” I said sincerely. She looked at me, her lips began to quiver, she got down from the bed and hugged me tightly and began to cry out loud. I effusively welcomed her warmth which gave me tranquility. I inhaled her sweet scent and rubbed her back, consoling her. I kissed her head, hugged her close to me. Silent tears rolled down my cheek as I began to say reassuringly, 

“You were always right.. I didn’t love you before.. rather I didn’t recognize my feelings but after you left I realized how much you mean to me.. just the thought of you forgetting me didn’t let me sleep at night… my mind couldn’t think anything but you… I love you Jessica.. you are my first and my last love.. Don’t think that I will force you.. we have a long life ahead of us.. We have a lot of time for us.. I will give you as much time as you want. I promise I'll stay close to you. I’ll be with you till my last breath.” I promised sincerely. Her cries calmed down a little as she pulled away slowly and looked at me with her teary gaze. I cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears with my thumb. I gave her a small smile as she rest her head over my chest and we leaned on the bed. She held my shirt and whispered, “I am sorry.” I looked at her and tugged a strand of her hair behind her ear and said sweetly, “Why are you saying sorry? 

“For not realizing your love.” She said timidly. I rubbed circles on her shoulder with my thumb and kissed her shoulder. 

“I promise, I’ll never make you cry, I'll try my best to make you happy. I promise to stay with you forever.” She giggled and nuzzled her head in my chest. She put her ear over my chest as she began to say, 

“It’s heartbeat.. We are together.. We are one. My heart beats for you and yours for me.. That’s why this heartbeat..” She shifted and looked deeply in my eyes, Our eyes gleamed in undying love as we both said the same time, 

“It’s ours..” We both laughed a little as she again leaned back on me and held my arm as if all her hopes were clinging onto it. She kissed the back of my palm and I did it with her as we reamied like that, feeling immense foness for each other and heavenly calmness surging through us, bounding us with each other forever.

I broke all those shackles that pulled you away from me now all that remains is to hold you in my arms forever so that I can protect you..