The Driving Force to Love (MXM) ✔

Chapter 24

A/N: This chapter contains mature content. I will indicate where it starts with ------------------------ and indicate where it ends with ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ so if you want to skip this section you can.

Dean Axle Lance

We walked down the street from the hotel to a local cafe. It was one of those ones where you order first at the counter and pay then go sit down. I ordered a ham sandwich. Tonio ordered a salad. It came with a roll on the side so I didn't pressure him to get more.

I sat next to him at the table instead of across from him. I took his hand in mine as we waited for the food. It was nice to be able to hold his hand in public, to feel his fingers tighten around mine, to see the faint smile that came to his lips as he stared down at our entwined fingers. It was selfish of me, but in that moment, I wished we could do this back home, at my favorite diner, at his workplace. I immediately buried that feeling because it was a dangerous one to indulge. I had told Tonio I was fine keeping our relationship a secret and I was. I had to be. I wasn't going to ruin his life and his relationship with his family and friends just because I wanted a moment to be selfish. It wasn't the first time I was in a relationship in secret and it wouldn't be the last. Well, maybe it was the last. I needed to stop my usual way of thinking.

There had been a time in my life when I thought I was in the last and only relationship I would ever be in. From the time I was little up until the moment Jennifer married Greg, I had still thought she was the only one for me. When the reality hit that that wasn't the case, I gave up ever being in a lifelong relationship. But Tonio obviously hadn't liked it last time I mentioned something similar and if he was going to think of this relationship as a lifelong possibility, I needed to as well.

"Have you been here before?" he asked.

"Once," I said. "It was a while ago and it was named something else then. Must have changed owners."

"I've been here a few times," he said. His fingers gently rubbed along mine. "Before when it was under a different name and a few times under this new name. It's close to the bar and hotel so it's convenient."

It grew silent between us as we watched customers go in and out and the employees bustle around.

"Sorry about my brother," he said after several moments of silence.

"Why?" I asked. "We already talked about the sterile thing and it's not a big deal."

"He can be a bit bigoted," he said, "against a lot of things even though if you were to ask him he doesn't think he is."

"He didn't say anything weird when he spoke to me," I said. "We mostly just talked about fishing and motorcycles. You don't think he would accept you if you came out?"

There was a long pause as he looked at our entwined hands. I thought he wanted to keep it quiet mostly because of his parents, but maybe his brother had something to do with it too.

"I don't know," he finally said. "I think even if he does eventually come to terms with it, it might take a while and I think there will always be some part of him that won't like it. My parents though," he sighed. "I don't think they'd ever accept it. And Liz's family is the same. I predict after a large shouting match of them trying to force her to deny it, then they'll just stop talking to her all together. Sarah has met Liz's family a few times as Liz's best friend. They like her, but that will change if they find out she is her girlfriend and not just a friend."

That was one good thing of basically not having family, I didn't have to deal with that type of drama. Mark was the only family I had and we really hadn't been in each other's lives much. The most I ever spoke with him was the once a month calls he would make from prison. He knew I was pan and never acted like he had a problem with it. It never really came up in our conversations though. It might have been different face to face.