WITHOUT YOU

Chapter 18

I threw the papers that I was going through into the air. I was too tired and frustrated to work anymore. The killings are getting more and they keep leaving notes telling me to hand over my mate to them else there will be war. To worsen my case my wolf is on edge and pissed that I'm not allowing him be with his mate. He nas even blocked me out and wont talk to me. There was a knock on the door and I signal for the person to come in. "I brought you something to eat since you don't want to come out of this hell hole." My Gamma aid to me as he placed a plate of mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables and steak in front of me and a glass of juice. "Thanks man." I said and began eating.

"Dude I think you need a break from all this work. Relax, have some time with your mate. Even if it's just a day." He said, sounding genuinely concerned for me. "Plus, your mate misses you a lot. She needs you." He added and I groaned. " My sister is already n my neck about this issue and now you. Right now I don't need anyone distracting me, i need to prepare for this war for Pete's sake so please don't bring that up now." I said quite irritated. I finished eating in peace and dismissed Ryan.

You know he is right. Mate needs us. Go to mate. Dil growled. You don't talk to me in weeks and when you finally do it's about the reason why you're not talking to me? Can't you forget about your mate for one second and help me with battle stratagies?!" I asked him and he growled again. She's your mate too dammit!! He yelled at me. A knock on the door made him stop growling at me. Mate is here. He said excitedly and i groan, "Come in" I grumble and soon her sweet scent of vanilla and honey suckles fill my senses, making my body relax a little.

"Umm, Dilan can we talk?" She asked hesitantly and I groaned again and pinched the bridge of my nose. Lately all the conversations I've had with people beginning with 'Can we talk' haven't ended well, I thought. Just listen to mate you asshole. Dil growled. "Sure." I muttered. "Why don't you want to talk to me?" She asked and I could sense sadness in her voice. Dil was angry that she thought he didn't want to speak to her and tried to take control. "What do you mean why don't I want to talk to you? Of course I want to talk to you, you're my mate." I defended myself. I saw hurt flash through her eyes for a moment." So you would only talk to me be cause I'm your mate and not because you love me?" Her hurt evident in her voice. You hurt mate's feelings. Let me talk to her. Dil demanded. No. I'm handling this myself. I growled mentally and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Diane could we just talk about this later? I'm not in the mood for this at the moment." She flinched at the tone of my voice but it just fuelled her anger."No Dilan we're going to talk about this now!!" She yelled at me before controlling her temper. I could sense her wolf was also angry at me. "Why have you been pushing me away for the last two months? You wont talk to me, you won't sleep in the same bed with me or only come to bed when I'm asleep and leave before I wake up. You won't even look at me." She said and felt the tears in her eyes threatening to spill.

"Diane I'm not avoiding you." I said and sighed frustratedly." I just don't want any distractions for now." I said. "So that's what I am to you? A distraction?" She asked. "I didn't mean it that way ok... I just-" she cut me off. "Just what Dilan? I never asked for this. When I met you I told you I didn't want a mate, yet you still went ahead and marked me. You made me warm up to you. And now that I have fallen in love with you you're pushing me away and it hurts... It really hurts." Her paused as her tears fell and Dil was now really angry that I was the cause of her tears but I kept my rein on him." I'm trying hard to be a good mate, to be a good Luna and Queen to your people. Taking on responsibilities I never wanted but now I am because I realised I have to protect my people. And all I ask is for you is to at least make time  for me, for us and-" All her ranting was really getting on my nerves and the last thing I needed was anotherbperson telling me what to do.