WITHOUT YOU

Chapter 20

2 weeks later....

I Walk through the field of flowers and settle myself under the tree where there was a little gravestone and a white cross with the name Adrian King embedded into it. I passed my fingers gently over the name. I take in a shaky breath and release it. I felt calm for once since I lost my baby. Just the thought of him sent a pain through my heart. Don't cry, don't cry, I kept repeating to myself. I have to be strong. Since Adrian,my son died I emersed myself into working and taking care of the kingdom. Only few people knew that I was pregnant and lost the baby and they were not allowed to tell anyone. Since all the packs are here, so are my friends from high school but I've met them only twice since I've been busy. I try not to fall into depression by allowing my mate to be close to me but in his thoughts he knows that I'm only doing it for our wolves cause deep down I just want to be left alone. I know it hurts him but at the moment i am not ready for anything. I do forgive him though Cassy and Blaire are yet to. They blame him for Adrian's death but i dont. This is all Jerome's doing and he will pay. I have only cried once since I lost my baby, I can't afford to cry cause if I do I'll break down and I don't know if I'll be able to put myself together again.

"Hi baby, It's mommy." I say gently to the gravestone as I gently pass my fingers over it and hold back my tears." I miss you. I really do. I just wish I had the chance to hold you in my arms just once. To sing you a lullaby and put you to sleep. I know there is a reason why you were taken away from me but is it too much to ask if I at least heard your first cry. Daddy also misses you. He didn't get the chance to even hear your heart beat once. He blames himself for your death but you and I know that's not true right? Daddy loves you with all his heart little one, don't you forget that. I know you're watching is from up there and you're safe so I'm happy." At this point my tears were flowing freely and I didn't bother to wipe it away. I let all my bottled up emotions out cause I couldn't keep it in me anymore . All the pain,the anger, the suffering. "I will avenge your death. I'll kill Jerome for taking you away from me and for bringing me so much pain. I promise." I said and lay down on the grass by the tombstone.
I fell into a peaceful sleep for the first time in a while.

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I woke up in my bed and it looked like it was quite late. I guess Dilan guessed where I was and came and found me asleep so he carried me back. I was feeling kind of hungry so I decided to go downstairs. Dilan had already changed me from the sunny drees I was wearing into one of his t shirts which was quite big on me so I  slipped on some sweatpants and head downstairs. I walk into the kitchen and all the servants bow their head in respect and I just nod. Priscilla comes up to me," Your majesty... Do you need anything?" She asked."Follow me." I said to her and turned around and started walking away. Soon we got to our destination which is the personal kitchen and I sat on one of the chairs at the kitchen island and gestured for her to sit down too. She did and the looked at me with a worried expression on her face and I sighed.

"I'm okay Priscilla. And you're not in trouble either." I answered her thoughts and she blushed a little since she forgot that I could read minds. Only she and my mother knew about my ability to read minds."I just wanted to be in the company of someone who wouldn't look at me with pity okay. Everyone acts like they're walking on eggshells around me when they're happy and I really don't like it. Can we just hang out while you cook something mouthwatering for me to eat." Her face lit up like a candle at the mention of her cooking for me to eat and I laughed and soon she joined in the laughter.

Soon I was helping her bake cookies as we talked and laughed about some silly arguements in the kitchen. I was actually having a fun time and was genuinely happy. Soon the chocolate chip cookies were ready and she poured us glasses of milk to go along with it. Now we were eating in a comfortable silence with only small talks as we enhoyed the cookies and warm milk. "Thank you Diane." She said with a smile on her face. I smiled at the fact that she called me Diane. "For what?" I asked."For being strong." She said. I was about to talk when she motioned for me to be quiet and just listen. "No one would be able to lose a child and still remain strong like you. Even though you are in pain you are enduring it and putting the wellbeing of the kingdom before yours. You accept everyone for who they are and treat us all as equals, disregarding our ranks. If I was the one I would have broken down by now and forget about the war and everything yet here you are... Being brave, standing strong for us. So I want to thank you. You truly live up to the meaning of your name and title." She said,teary eyed and so was I that was such a nice thing to say. I pulled her in for a hug and we both laughed.

Our moment was then ruined,"How touching. The Almighty 'Queen Luna Diane' is bonding with the servants. Pathetic." She spat my name out like it set her tongue on fire. Her attitude enraged me and my wolf and she fought to take over which I allowed her to do easily. She immediately moved to Nicole and squuezed her neck, my eyes shining silver which meant Mia,Tess and I were all really pissed. "Now let this be a final warning to you bitch. Never... And I repeat Never test my patience again else a warning wouldn't be what you will receive again. Diane may ignore your stupidity and disrespect but not me.Do I make myself clear?" Mia boomed using her Alpha tone causing Priscilla to also submit. Nicole shivered under my strong glare and nodded."Y-y-yes Luna." She stuttered and Mia let her drop to the ground and allowed me have control.Nicole immediately ran out of the kitchen. I laughed at the way she scampered away like a scared rabbit and soon Priscilla was laughing too. Soon we were done eating and I headed upstairs to my room and passed by Dilan's office.

The door was left slightly ajar and I peaked in and saw my mate with his head in his hands. I hate it when he is this down cause it makes me sad. i knocked on his office door and put my head through and he raised his head,"You busy?" I asked and he shook his head. I could see he was really tired so I walked over to him and started to massage his shoulders and they losen up a bit. "Thanks Cherry." He said and sighed. "What's wrong babe?" I asked as i sat on his laps. He started rubbing circles on my lower back. "Nothing." I can't tell you how I still feel that I'm responsible  for our son's death . And I think that you're only here for our wolves. I'm scared that you hate me for all that I  wil lose you one day when you become tired of me and I'll die alone-  I slapped him and he flinched, surprised that I hit him.

"What the hell was that for?!?" He asked and I kissed him in response. " Don't ever ever say that again!" I said and he looked at me with a shocked expression on his face. "Did I say that outloud?" He asked sheepishly."No, you didn't." I said and sighed and now he looked confused. "But my mind block was up so how did you hear that?" He asked looking confused.

"Isortakindamaybereadyourmind." I rushed out and he raised an eyebrow at me as though saying that I should come again but slower and I rubbed my neck nervously. " I sorta kinda maybe read your mind." I said in a low tone. "You can read minds?" He asked, totally surprised and I nodded."Only my mum and Priscilla know since I read theirs by mistake when I first discovered it.It was actually the first thing I discovered that I could do. But I don't mostly use that ability since I feel like is an invasion of one's privacy. I didn't mean to use it on you but I just knew you were lying when you said nothing. Plus I can't have you blame yourself anymore for Adrian's death. I know how you feel and all but I want to assure you that it wasn't your fault that he died. I also want you to know that I can never hate you because you're my mate and not just that but you're my love. 'We hate because and we love despite.'  " I paused to catch a breath as I caressed his face with my palm and he was intently listening to me." What I meant is... We hate people because they've wronged us and we refuse to forgive and forget. And we love people despite all the person's flaws, we overlook their wrongs and give them another chance to prove to us that they love us. And it's normal for a couple to fight, but you don't let it tear you apart but make you stronger. I love you Dilan,with all my heart,soul and body and I wouldn't leave you for anything." I said to him and he stared at me with so many emotions in his eyes. But the dominant one was love and adoration.

He kissed me with such longing and need, pouring all his emotions into the kiss. Then we pulled away to catch our breath while resting our foreheads against each other as he gently passed his fingers over my bottom lip. "I thank the Goddess for such a wonderful mate." He said before leaning in for another kiss. Soon the kiss was getting heated as he raised me from his lap and I wrapped my legs around his torso as he lead us out of his office to our room which wasn't really far. We received strange stares from some pack members as he tried to open our bedroom door and still kissing me while I giggled at him. His last attempt was successful and now I was in our cozy bed as he was trailing kisses down my neck and sucked on his mark on my neck and I moaned. Soon our clothes were flying everywhere as my mate started to make love .

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After many rounds of pure pleasure and ecsatsy Dilan and I were lying down in each others arms trying to catch our breath after both cuming for the fifth time. I draped a leg  over his torso and placed my head on his chest and kissed it. "Good night cherry🍒 ." He said and placed a soft kiss on the top of my head. I snuggled closer and though of a cool nickname for him that he wouldn't like. Lightbulb Hershey, I love hersheys,"Good night Hershey." I said and he growled playfully and I giggled before drifting into a much needed sleep with a smile on my face. I really love this guy....