Gay for you

GAY FOR YOU: CHAPTER 21

FEIVEL'S POV

"I love you so much, shorty. Will you be my boyfriend?"

I feel his body tense in my arms and he shuffles to position his face from the crook of my neck to an inch away from me.

"B-b-boyfriend?" he shutters.

I nod with my signature grin. "I would've asked you to marry me. But, then I thought it would be too soon for you. So I settle for the least, a boyfriend that is."

I visibly watch Arne's eyes go wide as his brows shot up. "Marry?!?"

I gleefully nod again.

"No no no" he extreme panic moving his hands from the back of my neck to my shoulders in support to stand up from his place in my lap.

"What? Why?" I slam him back into my lap and cross hold his hands between us.

"Y-you I- i-its not possible, Fei" he shifts his eyes anywhere but me.

"It's not impossible. I love you"

"It can be a phase!" he yells squirming in my hold but I won't lose.

"A phase of five years? It doesn't even make sense, Arne" now I'm irritated. Does he not like me anymore? Is he seeing anyone else? A girl? A guy? Jackson? "So you are dating Jackson after all"

"W-what? No! I couldn't even think about it. Plus he's already been interested in someone else. Besides, that would count as incest for me. Eww," he says scrunching his nose.

"Then what? Don't you like me anymore? Am I just a past now?" I question feeling fright in the pit of my stomach. 'What if he says that he actually doesn't like me anymore? I don't want to lose him again. I couldn't take it'

"T-That's not t-true" he whispers looking down at our hands. My hands holding his wrists in a tight grasp while a pink shade covers his cheeks.

"Then what is true, shorty?" I loosen my grip on his wrists when I know he won't struggle anymore. I pull his face in my hands which makes him look at me for a moment before he lowers his gaze again.

I see him whimper before he answers my question. "I'm s-scared" his voice as low as a whisper but thanks to the almost no-distance between us I caught what he said.

"Scared? Of what?" I ask. "Me?"

The one who is actually scared would be me. All kinds of "what ifs" rush my brain.

What if, he doesn't trust me anymore?

What if, he thinks I'm gonna hurt him?

What if, he answers that he is scared of me?

What if, he doesn't love me anymore and is humble enough to say otherwise?

'No no no' I can't let it happen. I want him. I want him with me, beside me, for me. I want him in my life, forever.

Maybe I went too forward talking about marriage. How stupid I am.

"I'm sorry" I apologize stroking his cheeks with my fingers. I look straight into his beautiful blue eyes. "I was stupid to bring something like "marriage" at this point of time. I didn't even ask for your choice. Of course, you have your reasons to deny. You have every right to deny. I'm sorry that I scared you" I retreat my hands from his face and place it as nearer to me as possible. He opens his mouth to answer but nothing comes out.

I check my watch and see its almost time I pick Arne from Noah's place. And it seems to be getting dark and chilly. "Let's go. I need to pick Arne from his friend's place before it gets darker and starts snowing" I say leaning back from him, providing him with enough space to unwrap from me.