Gay for you

GAY FOR YOU: CHAPTER 4

[AN: The dialogues in single quotes are self told. ENJOY]

ARNE'S POV

This all started a week ago.
                       
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I and Fei were having our usual hangout at his place. Having a movie marathon with a couple of beers and Cool Ranch Doritos. God! I love that shit. We both were obsessed with the taste we barely had any other snack.

We used to hang out every weekend with or without beer, rambling shit. Today was no different.

Despite my unrequited love for him, he was still my best friend. Been there for him was all I had to do. Today too, I overlooked my feelings for him and decided to be the best friend for him that he wanted.

But, Fei was scarily quiet during the whole marathon. I remain silent not wanting to force him to talk.

'No shit'

I couldn't put up with it anymore.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You've been scaring the shit out of me, for the past four hours..... What happened Fei?" I busted out.

He stared at the screen without batting an eye. But, I knew he wasn't watching the movie.

"..........." he mumbled.

"What? Dude, seriously now. I can't hear a single word" I said looking straight into his face. He kept staring into space before letting out a breath and he turned to me.

"...... I broke up with Miaa" he said under his breath making me freeze

"Y-You broke up with her?" he nods still looking at the ground.

"But why? I-I mean you guys were so good together. You even went against me for her." I deadpanned. He jolted up to look me in the eyes filled with guilt. Finally. Finally, he looked me in the eye.

Call me the worst friend for being happy about my best friend's break up. I don't care, I am still happy.
I never once liked her. I mean, who in the world would like someone who flirts with you intimately, despite being the stunning girlfriend of your best friend.

I confronted that with Feivel in the beginning and got a cold shoulder in return. So, I thought of avoiding the whole matter, not wanting to lose my best friend because of some bitch doing her bitching. Cause, deep down I knew that they would break up soon enough.

"Look shorty, " he says still looking me in the eye. "I'm sorry. You know I liked her a lot then and I was wrong turning on to you" he confides reminding of the days when he acted like shit ignoring me all the time and stuck on to her. "But, " he continues "I was bind to her long enough but not anymore. I couldn't deny the truth anymore" he confessed.

"T-Truth?" he nods answering my question.

"Arne," he says taking my hand and holding it tight as his life depended on it. Fei never called me by my first name ever since the first time we met. But, when he did, one should understand that it's something really serious.
"Arne, I know I should've said this earlier but I didn't know how to. But, now I can't anymore. I give up" he says tightening the grip. I nod telling him to continue.
"Umm... I guess. No. Actually, I'm sure. Arne......I-I'm bisexual" he declares leaving me speechless.

"Y-You're what?" I look him in the eye searching for a lie. But, no. This wasn't a lie. He wasn't joking either. He was serious. Dead serious.

So you're telling me, that the guy I had a crush on since middle school, for four fucking years is not straight but bisexual. My best friend who I have been having fantasies about is not actually only into girls.

I didn't want to confront my thoughts but somewhere deep inside, my hope which was dead without even been existed was reborn.

'Do I have a chance?'

'Of course not. Your only his best friend, nothing more'

'But maybe?'

'Maybe'

I was so lost in myself that I forgot about Fei who was still looking at me like a lost puppy.

".....Since when?" I asked breaking the silence.

"Not long. I realized it last summer"

"That's long enough Feivel" I snap. "This is when you tell me?" I yell.

"I know shorty but I wasn't sure how to tell you. I-"

"You may be confused, Fei" I interrupt. "It happens. Ju-" I stress out.

"No!" he shouts.

"I have known long enough Arne. I know and I'm sure" he finishes leaving me speechless.

"Bu-" I struggle.

"I know cause I already have a guy I love, Arne" he cries. "I'm sure about it. I know it's hard to admit since, I have been dating girls all my life but I know, what I feel for that guy is not normal. I know I love him. And the guy is y-"

"I- I'm gonna be back" I rush to the bathroom without uttering any other word.

I had tears crawling their way down my cheeks, choking on my breath, shattered into pieces I fell on the bathroom floor just beside the counter.

'The guy I had a crush on is not only bisexual furthermore already have a guy he is in love with? Just when I thought, I had a chance. Maybe. Maybe, he would end up being in love with me. But no. How can I get my hopes high? Why am I so stupid? I'm nothing but a best friend, I have always been. I c-can't. I can't take it anymore. But, I can't end my friendship too. I love him. I can't leave him yet can't see him with someone' I broke into another sob covering my mouth with both my hands.

Feivel keeps banging the door panicking. I take a deep breath, stand, adjust my clothes. Looking into the mirror I stare at my reflection. Stare at my stupidity. Turning on the tap and I smash the cold water on my face and try to take deep breathes.

'I won't leave him just there, but first, I have to put an end to this love of mine. I need time. I'm not ready yet to face him. I need time. I definitely need time' consoling myself I head out.

Feivel looked anxious enough like he forgot to breathe. His complexion showed he was definitely regretting coming out.

I take a step closer to him, giving him a quick hug. I soak myself in his scent and when my tears were on the verge of coming out I pull back.

"Fei, I won't love you any less just because you are interested in guys," I say rubbing my hand to his bicep. "You are still my best friend and always will be" I struggle controlling my almost falling tears giving him a wobbly smile.
"It's late. I have to go" I say leaving the room ignoring his protests to stay. I leave the room.
       
                'Not yet, Fei. Not yet'

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