Alone 2: Bullets

20. Daddy Issues

Carla

"Tracy's pregnant".

Oh.

My.

God.

I couldn't believe my ears. And I couldn't believe Tracy. She would do anything to get back in Axel's good graces. But right now it wasn't about all that. It was about Axel.

"Axel are you sure she's pregnant?". I just had to ask, because no lying bitch was gonna make my big brother sad.

"Yes, she brought her pregnancy report". He said slowly.

"That could have been fake"

"It's not, she also did one of those home pregnancy tests right in front of me"

"Oh my gosh, then she is pregnant. So what are you going to do about it".

"I don't know sis. I can't kill my own baby".

"You're definitely not killing that child. It has a right to come into this world". I was getting kinda aggressive. Even if my child didn't see the world I want Axel's baby to have that chance.

"You wanna know something about me sis?". Axel asked drinking more whiskey.

"What"

"I'm only living in this house because of you"

"What do you mean because of me?"

"I moved out a long time ago, when I was seventeen to be exact. I just couldn't bare living under the same roof as dad anymore".

"Wait but dad's awesome". Honestly my dad was like one of the best people ever, cold but still the best.

"That's how he is with you. When you and mum went missing, I was only five years old. Dad became distant. It was like he hated looking at my face"

He continued "On my birthday the maids would make me a cake and sing for me, but dad never showed up, he didn't even send a birthday gift. I was practically raised by our maids. Whenever he would look at me I could feel the disgust in his eyes. It was as if the one who took his wife and daughter away was me".

"Ax". I couldn't come up with words because I don't understand his pain.

"You know those little hand turkeys you make when you're a kid"

"What about them"

"I made one once. I was so excited I took it to dad's office to show him. He took it from me and he burnt it. He burnt it lex". For the first time in three years I saw tears in my brother's eyes. There's no doubt that he's scared he might be just like dad was with him.

"Axel. You don't need to be scared about having this baby"

"No lex. No matter what I'm still my father's son. What if I do worse to my child. I don't think I'll be able to be a father"

"You know what screw being a great dad. Because there's no such thing as a great dad or a perfect dad, but there is a bad father. All you can do is try your best not to be a bad father. And that means being there for your kid. When he walks for the first time. When he says dada for the first time. Fuck it even when he looses his virginity". Axel let out a small chuckle before I continued.

"And you know what else, you're not alone and I'm not talking about Tracy I'm talking about me. I'll always be there for him. I can be an aunt, a sister, a mother even a guidance counselor. All I'm saying is I'll always be there for you and your kid. As long as you don't fuck it up".

"Hey I thought you were consoling me". Axel finally smiled.

"Yeah but that got boring. Like suck it up dude. How can the mighty Axel Hernandez have so many daddy issues. It kinda makes people less scared of you"

"Hey, if you ever tell anyone about this I'll cut off your hair". We both laughed so hard. And then we ended up watching a movie.

Welcome to the Hernandez Mansion where everything ends with a movie.

*****

After the movie with Axel I went back to my room. I kept thinking about the child and about Axel.

Seeing Axel that way made Theo's words come back to me. I have been really selfish.

I always thought I was the only one with problems. It never occurred to me that people have suffered way more than I did.

Thinking back, I wonder how Theo grew up without a mother and a father who only thought of getting revenge.

Although Laura was a bitch she was still kind of a mother to me. A terrible one but still. And the man who raised me took so much care of me even on his last day.

This was finally the moment Alexandria Maria Hernandez realized the world doesn't revolve around her. My conscience spoke to me.

Hey you had nineteen years to make me realize. I spoke back to my conscience like a crazy person.

Then my phone vibrated. I got a text from Jackson.

"I think you're gonna want to see this. I'll text the address"

I went over to the address Jackson gave me. It was a house. It looked nice from the outside.

I rang the doorbell, then Jackson opened the door. He was wiping blood off his hands. And that means just one thing. Someone is probably in the basement.

"So this is your torture house huh?". I said sarcastically.

Jackson didn't say a word and that's how I knew the assassin in him has taken over now.

He led me straight to the basement.

I knew it.

Gangsters and basements.

Some random guy was hanging upside down with blood dripping from literally every where. Jackson Grey has stroke again.

I looked at him and he started talking "I found the surveillance tape from that night. He happened to have taken his mask off for a second. So I tracked him down".

"Who sent you". I asked the man.

"Please don't kill me. Please". He pleaded for his life.

"Tell us then maybe we'll think about it and if you even think about lying we'll find out and kill everyone who've ever meant"

"Please don't. I have a family and..and"

"Spill and I won't harm them"

"It was G..Gu.. Guerrero"