Gay For You (Seungjin/Hyunmin)

17 - Haven

"What?" Jeongin asks while he tries to reach me to pull me close to him and my other two friends. "What do you mean, Seungmin?"

"Where are you going?" Now it's Chan's turn to ask me. While my friends are making me more and more questions, I put my shoes on getting ready to leave Chan's house. I can't do it.

"I can't do it by text" I finally explain. "I have to be honest face to face with Jinnie and not by some text on the phone"

My best friends nod their heads agreeing with my idea, that for the first time didn't seem that stupid like the others were. A smile appears on their faces as if they're trying to wish me a good luck for what I am going to do. And how much I need it.

I hold the door knob, opening it and leaving the house, making my way to Hyunjin's. 

If I said that I'm not nervous right now I would be lying. I didn't even plan what to say so there's still a possibility for me to say something stupid. I just need to stay positive.

The distance to Hyunjin's house get shorter at every step I take, but my nervousness just gets bigger. Now a text doesn't seem a wrong thing to do.

My heart beats faster than ever making me think that at some moment it'll just explode. How can a simple thing can make me feel this nervous? My whole body trembles like it never did before, it seems like my anxiety is attacking me in a bad moment. I just can't let this stop me from doing what I have to do.

I find myself in front of Hyunjin's house and ready to knock the door. I reach out my hand to do it, but I need to gain courage enough. I'll never have the courage enough, I should just knock on the door. 

My hand gets closer to the door and when it is closer enough for me to knock it, it suddenly opens leaving me with a terrified expression on my face. I wasn't expecting that.

"Hey" I hear Hyunjin's sweet voice, caughing all of my attention. I use all of my energy in that moment to get closer to him and hold him in my arms in a warm and comfortable hug. His big hands are positioned on my back as if he was trying to tell me, with no words, that he wanted it too. Our big moment is interrumpted when someone's steps are heard inside the house. Mrs Hwang face is revealed.

"Hello Seungmin" She says in a sweet tone of voice just like her son. Her eyes are now turning to me and Hyunjin, who are still in a short distance. I open my mouth to say something, however Mrs Hwang could speak faster than me. "I see that you're having a moment now, I'll just leave you two alone so you can talk better" With that, Hyunjin's mother disappears from behind the door which leaves us two alone again.

"Can we talk about it?" I ask him. He opens his mouth, probably taken by surprise from what I said. I was taken by surprise too so who can blame him for it? Wasn't I so convinced that we should forget about it? And it was yesterday. What changed my mind then?

"Didn't we promise that we had to forget about it?" He asks me and I nod my head, showing that I remember it. 

"I don't want to forget it anymore" I confess, holding him again in another hug. How much I missed this even if only a day has passed. Jinnie's hugs are my favorite thing in the world. They just make me feel better than anything. It feels so safe and right like nothing else matters in the world and we both want it. That's why I love Jinnie's hugs so much. They are my haven. Actually Jinnie is my haven and not only his hugs.

"I don't want to forget it either, Minnie" He confesses. "I really like you and even if I tried I couldn't forget about it, I couldn't forget about you" We move away from each a little, getting a few inches from each other.

"So can we talk about it?" I ask him. He nods his head bringing his soft hand closer to mine to hold it. My neutral face turns into a smile. A real smile.

We make our way to the parque next to Jinnie's house so we can talk better and alone. He looks me in the eyes, but a stay in silence for a moment. I bet my face is redder than ever right now. 

"I like you" I finally break the silence really clueless of what he is going to say now. How is he going to react? Should I be more obvious? Or should I be less obvious? "Not in a friend way. I thought that I did and I know it looks stupid, but I thought that I was straight until today"

"I don't want you to lie to make me feel better, Minnie" He says while moving his hand a little to remind me that it was still holding mine. "I don't want to force your sexuality. It's really okay if you're straight, none of us can change it"

"I am not straight" I try to explain it. "I'm not gay either, but I still don't know what I am. Let's just say that I'm gay for you while I try to understand it better. I like you and it's not as a friend or a best friend, whatever. I'm not saying that we should date right now, because it seems a bit early for me and maybe it seems early for you too, but can we try?"

"I like you too" He confesses in a soft tone of voice which formed butterfly in my belly. "Actually I don't, but that's because I love you. It's okay if you're not ready to start dating right now, we don't need to. I just need to spend more time with you, because you really make me happy and we can figure it when we should start dating. Let's just start as best friends and we go on dates or whatever you want to call it"

My heart beats again, but it seems like it is in a form of joy. I'm really happy that Jinnie agrees with my idea and respects it. I can't hold some tears to fall down from my eyes and passing through my red cheeks.

Our bodies come together in another hug, just as comfortable and warm as the others. Even though it could look weird to people passing on the street, it was everything to us and that was the reason why we couldn't let go of each other now.

My head rests on Jinnie's shoulder while we're in a comfortable silence. I wish this moment lasted longer. I wish we could stay like this forever. I wish we could hold each like this always.

I don't want anything to just ruin this moment. I just want to be with Jinnie, because that makes so sense right now.

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I just want to thank the people who made this story reach 1K reads and 100 votes which is a good number and it makes me happy that people are reading my story and they actually enjoy it. I hope you like the next chapters and thank you again for reading this.