Gay For You (Seungjin/Hyunmin)

21 - Tranquility

My three best friends form smirks on their faces. I feel myself blushing because of what I just told them. But they're my best friends and it's not wrong to tell them about my feelings, right? They are the only people that I can't rant about my life, aside from Jinnie. And I wouldn't tell about our kiss, because he already knows that we kissed.

"I can't believe that you kissed Hyunjin" Jisung admits with a shocked face. My other two best friends nods their heads agreeing with Jisung indignation right now. "You're so lucky. Tell me how is it like to kiss him"

"Don't tell us, please!" Jeongin screams, putting his hands on his ears so he wouldn't hear about the kiss. I take his hands out off his ears.

"I won't tell you those things" I say. "And you forgot about the most important thing about this conversation. I realized that I'm in love with Hyunjin"

"I'm not surprised" Chan confesses. "Neither are they. You were the only one who was denying feelings for Hyunjin. But I'm happy that you finally realized. It was late, but at least you realized. The question now is: Are you dating, right?"

"I don't think we are" I confess. "I just told him that I love him and then we kissed. We didn't talk about it anymore"

"You're so dumb" Jisung says, facepalming himself.

"You should talk to him" Jeongin interrumpts me. "You confessed to him and now you'll face the consequences. And he loves you too, so what could go wrong?"

"Should I ask him to be my boyfriend?" I ask my three best friends receiving a nod from all of them. "Why me and not him?"

"You were the one who said that you should take things slow" Chan says. "So you should be the one saying that you want things to go faster now. That you want to be his boyfriend. It doesn't have to be an incredible purpose. Just talk to him about it"

"So wise, Chan" Jisung says with a laugh. "It doesn't look like you did the same thing"

"But then I asked him to be my boyfriend" Chan explains himself. "And I believe that Seungmin will ask him too"

"I'll look for him" I say, making my three best friends applaud. I roll my eyes at their behavior and open Chan's and Jeongin's tent, leaving it to look for Jinnie. Where is he?

My feet walk to our tent, where he could probably be. I open it and look inside, but he's not there. How am I supposed to talk to someone that I can't find? I decide to ask Yeji about his brother and she says that he must be in the river. So I know where to go now.

I make my own way to the river next to our tents. The water is calm, making almost no noise which is perfect for me. This simple noise transmits such tranquility to me. If Jinnie's here this is probably the reason.

I get closer to the river looking at his blue and clean water where I can see the fish inside it. I look at my reflection in the water. My face has a big smile, making me look cuter than I thought that I was.

Suddenly, I feel a touch on my shoulders causing me a little jump because of the shock. I don't have to turn around to know who's behind me but I do it anyway. I look at Jinnie's face, where a bright smile catches my attention.

"I need to talk to you" I look him in the eyes and he nods, sitting next to the river and signaling him to do the same so I do. "You should know that what I said yesterday wasn't a lie. I really love you. However there were things that I didn't tell you yesterday that I should tell you now" I take a breathe, trying to gain courage for what I'm going to say next. It's just so hard to tell him even if I already know that he wouldn't reject me. "I want to be more than friends. And I want to be more than best friends too. You know what I mean, right?"

"I was looking for you too" Jinnie says, holding my hand assuring me that he was thinking the same things as me and that I shouldn't be worried. "I want to be your boyfriend too and I was already thinking of asking it today. But I want it to be special to you and to me, because I won't have this chance again. Can I be the one asking you?"

"I don't care if it's you or me asking" I answer Jinnie's question. "I just needed to tell you that I want to be your boyfriend. Take the time that you need to ask me"

"I'll take the time that I need to make it perfect for us" Jinnie says, while his hand touches my cheeks and my mouth turns into a smile. "I want to be your boyfriend too"

My gaze focus on Jinnie's lips and I can't stop thinking about how soft they felt. I want to feel it against mine again, because for the first time I'm not worried about anything else but being happy. And if Jinnie is the one who makes me happy, why should I deny my feelings for him and why should I stop myself from being with him?

I love Hyunjin right now and I know that love hurts, it's okay if I get hurt because of him. Right it is what I want to do so why restrain myself?

I get a bit closer to him, feeling his breath and I couldn't care less about anything in this world. The calm sound of the river next to us just makes this whole moment even better. It's all that I've never thought that I needed: tranquility and Hwang Hyunjin.

Jinnie finally breaks the distance between our lips, making us share a short but sweet kiss. I can feel again Jinnie's soft lips against mine and remember why they are so addictive. Why wonder myself why did I take so long to kiss him.

I feel my heart pounding in my chest, but this time it isn't because of my anxiety or something like that. The reason why I feel my heart pounding like that it's because I'm allowing myself to do what I wanted to do for a long thing. It's because of all the emotions I'm feeling right now.

I break our short kiss, smiling like I've never did before. Even if I try, I can't stop myself from smiling right now. I'm just so happy about having Jinnie here with me, without anything hurting me.

I open my arms, putting them around Jinnie's body to hold him in the usual warm hug. He returns that hug, holding me even closer to him.

"Let's just stay like this today" I ask Jinnie, earning a nod from him. "I love you"

For a moment we can only hear water from the river hitting on the rocks. Jinnie doesn't waste his time to bring his face closer to mine, putting his soft lips on my cheek and placing a kiss in it.

"I love you too" Jinnie finally says.

If at the beginning of the vacations someone told me that I would fall in love with a boy named Hwang Hyunjin, the twin brother of my ex crush, I wouldn't believe it. Unexpected things happen to unexpected people and that's something that I didn't know at the beginning of the vacations. Sometimes things don't have an explanation and you shouldn't waste your time trying to get one. I must enjoy these feelings now instead of trying to get an explanation.

I'm in love with Hwang Hyunjin and I don't need any explanation, because I just do.