Walk To Mind

OUR DIFFERENT FUTURE

"MORIE, will you marry me?"

I saw how you flashed your beautiful smile in front of me. "Yes, Dancel. I wanna grow old with you."

That time we had our plans. We had our visions in our future. We were one and golden forever. That's what I thought when suddenly...

"Can we got out tonight?" I asked you.

"No, I'm busy."

"Busy?" Mahigpit kong hinawakan ang manubela ng kotse ko. "You're always busy. Hindi mo na nga naasikaso ang—"

"Dancel, please... I'm tired of work."

So I stopped because I didn't want you to feel pressure about our marriage. I knew you still have plans. Palagi mong sinasabi sa 'kin na may mga pangarap ka pa sa buhay na gusto mong marating. At ayaw kong maging hadlang para maabot mo ang lahat ng 'yon.

Palagi kang busy. Meeting dito. Promotion dito. Business trip dito. But still... I'm holding on even I felt like I am slowly losing your hand.

"Bakit 'di ka pumunta sa simbahan kanina? Alam mo bang nasayang ang oras ni Father at ng ibang tao?" asik ko sa telepono.

"Yes ma'am! I'll just take this call," rinig kong wika mo sa kabilang linya. Mukha nasa trabaho ka na naman.

"What is it again, Dancel? By the way, I got a big client! My boss told me..." you continued talking.

You seemed happy. So I tried my best to lower my temper and tried to act that everything was okay.

"Morie, we waited you," I mumbled.

"Oh shit! I forgot! Sorry! Sorry! I'm just so happy to hear the news that my boss told me. Hindi ko lang talaga sinasadya. Is everything okay there?"

'No, everything was messed up... wasted.'

I wanted to told you about that, pero mas pinili kong 'wag kang pag-alalahanin para 'di ka maabala sa ginagawa mo.

"Everything is okay—"

"Sorry! I have to go now! Love you!"

You ended the call, and I felt like you also ended the future we promise to share for eternity.

"Morie... I'm getting tired but I'm still trying to fight for you. I'm still holding on your promises. You said you'll grow old with me so I'm willing to stay. Ako pa ang magkukulay ng buhok mo kapag pumuti na. Ako pa ang magiging tungkod at lakas mo kapag hindi mo na kayang tumayo. Sabay pa tayong magpapapustiso. Gusto ko ring makita 'yong araw na hahabulin natin ang mga apo natin. Sabay tayong tatawa kahit lubog na ang ating mga mata. And when I died, I want your precious smile to be my last. I love you..."

I sent you the voice message... pero... sineen mo lang 'to.

"Morie..."

I was in the middle of the road that night, in the phone call, talking to you. The teardrops of the rain was running through my body. I felt like it was pulling me down as the water keep on pouring with no pause. Para akong nitong nilulunod at wala na akong lakas para makaahon pa.

"Dancel, I have a good news! I'm going to London!"

Hindi ako umimik. Nanatili lamang akong nakatulala sa ilalim ng bumabagsak na tubig ulan.

"Dancel? Dancel..."

"Morie..." Tuluyan nang kumawala sa aking mata ang mga
luhang gusto kong bitawan. "I canceled our wedding..."

"What?"

"Let's stop this."

Trust me, I tried but...

"I'm letting you go."

But I felt like that I am not the future you wanted to have. I saw that time, I am not the man that you're willing to love forever. That you just wanted to be love while you're loving something else.

"I love you... And please, I wanted you to see the life you really wanted. Please conquer your dreams, that even for now on, I am not part of the dream that you wanted to hold forever. Good luck to your career. Take care always. I love you..."

The plans, the visions, the future we promise to achieve together,  now I can't see them ahead.

"Good bye."

(credits to the rightful owner of the picture)