[Huh. DJ Snake with boobs. . . But he kinda a baddie doe 😳]
---
*Based off a quote Martin said but I altered it :)*
Martin: *wiping a tear* Fuck, I'm sweaty, I'm emotional, I haven't had sex in weeks, and I'm having a crisis! Tijs is neglecting me of sexual contact and I can't take it anymore! I'M SO FUCKING HORNY!
---
Sonny: What's your favorite job?
Ken: Crushing up boxes.
*Ken beating up a box*
Sonny: As it turns out, his father left him and Ken proceeded to commit war crimes and mass genocide across five third-world countries.
---
Someone: *barely touches Ant without his permission*
Will: Ｓｏ ｙｏｕ ｈａｖｅ ｃｈｏｓｅｎ ｄｅａｔｈ． ． ．
---
tornadosweeper: *singing* I'm gonna clean my room after the sun burns out and world burns down.
---
Alan: It appears that I have created a knife wielding ball of white floof, if anyone volunteers to stop it, um, call me.
---
Ahrix: I have never had sexual intercourse, or anything close to it.
Ken: Heh, loser.
(Yes, I have made Ahrix the only virgin here)
---
Alan: What do you have to say for yourself after you shamed a bunch of homeless people for being poor?
Will: I better hide my money 'cause then again, I don't want y'all to feel poor with your broke asses.
Ant: Will! Why are you so mean?!
Will: I'm not being mean, I'm being honest.
Tijs: So, the defendant has proven himself guilty of misconduct. Before this, he has tried multiple times to try and murder Tungevaag. This leaves us with him being guilty of approximately six counts of attempted manslaughter and misconduct with the misfortunate.
Will: Sounds about right.
---
Tijs: *sweating after a set and exposes his chest*
Martin: *quietly* Oh my God. . . Seeing him like that makes me so hard. . .
Dillon: Same. . .
*looks at each other silently*
---
Joel: A lot of people have asking what quote I live by, and it's honestly very simple. I live by:
D̸̼̣̤̜͚̝̥̄͆̽ȩ̵̦͐̎̉͝͠ą̶̡̧̧͍̜͇̦̱͎͕͙̫͇̖̖͓͓͖̒͆̈́͌̀͐̎͛̎͐̈́̆̈̿̄̚̕͜ẗ̴̟͓̭͎̱́̀͐͊͊̀̂̆̃̇́̒̿͒̄́̂̆͒͆͊̑̚͝͠͝͠ḣ̴̰̯̟̩̱͈̟͇̏̓̏͑̋̄̐͆̿͂̐̈́̓͌̀̑̑̅̕̕͝ ̴̡̡̤͕̜̱͈̠̲͎̩͇̥͔͙̾͗̿̾̋̐̃̇͋̉͂̄į̶̛̺̗͇̗͍̖͚̝̭̗̘̯͍̼̙͚̜̤̱̈́͋͑̀̏̽̓̀̇͑́̈́̆́̓̐͐̌̾̚̚͜͠ͅͅͅͅͅͅş̶̯̜̱͈̫̮̙͔̭͔͇̺̰̹̳͕̺̥̦̝̹̌͑̊͗̆̈́̆̋̆̓̉͊̇̆̐͝ͅ ̶̡̡̛̳̞̩̟̩̱̱̮͖̯͙͂̔̇͐͌̄͐͆̈̅̄́͋͗͛͗́̑̒͘͝i̴̮̜̘͚̗͊͌́̉̃̿̾̂̿͋̉̇͗͜͝͝͠͝n̸̢̡̧̛̻̱̖͇̰͙͍̪̘̪͈̹̬̲̰̪̯͔͈͖̩̱̥̑̓̈́̓͋̂̓̇̑̌͑̅̽̐͑͒̀̈́͐̂̆̔̇͘̚̚̕̕͜͠è̶̡͕̰̮̪̪̘̫͈̰͉̬͓̲̫̟͙͖̙͚̦̠͕̒̊͆͛̾ṿ̶̧̧̡̢̛̹͙̳͙͕̬̺̹͉̠̟̤̠̰͍̰̣̭͖̥̤͎̝̣͓̔̓͐͐̎͂͐̈́͂̈̓̎̐̄̋̒̽͐̚̕͘͝͝͝ī̴̛̛̪̜͆͛̂͋̾͌̀͐̈́̄͊̀͛̌̚̚͝t̵̨̢̡̼͍̠̠̺̼̗͚̹͇̝͆̓̌͊̓̽̽̆͆͘͝͝a̴̫̽͌̂̽͑̀̒̈͌̅̒b̴̢̧̧͉͈̜̟̜̻̞̟̮͎͔̰̼͇͇̘͎̟̯̹͖̳̭̱̩͂̐̆̄̓͛̋́̈̄̀͑̽͋̓̌̂̓̆͊̃́͊̋̆͘̕͘͝͝l̶̡̢̢̡̧̛̳̳̹̪̱͙̜͔̘͙̱͉̺̳̮̖̝̝̜͚̑̀͑̿͂̈́̈͛̍͂̒͑͂̀̍͘͜ͅę̵̢̛̛̺̰̩͈̥̖̺͈̯̰̱̺̜̘̜͉̙̤̈̅͆̂͌̋͑̐͑̔͐̆̇͌͛̂͊̔̇̄̌͋̍̍̕͘
Joel: And I live by it.
---
Ant: *pressing a 'Horny' button* Horny, horny, horny, horny, horny, horny, horny.
Will: I get you're horny, please stop.
---
Joel: *onstage* I'm tired of living and I am requesting someone to come shoot me backstage, you don't have to pay just bring a gun and if you can, maybe a bottle of tequila, other than that, it's happy hour right now. You can sell my body on the black market, I'm sure you'll get millions.
---
Sonny: You're stupid, I'm stupid, we're stupid, now if you excuse me, I must go order 100 chicken nuggets.
Joel: Sonny, your Dad died.
---
Slushii: Voicing a rat with an ear on it's back sounds like a dream. I wonder who else will be on here. . .
*timeskip*
Mello: So, who else was there?
Slushii: They gave the mice cocaine and made each other fuck until they died of poisoning.
Mello: Oh. . .
---
Sonny: You know what? I don't think Ant should be bragging on how fit he is! It's indirectly making people self conscious!
Ant: I just said I lost some pounds, tho-
Sonny: SHUT UP, ACTUALLY HEALTHY PERSON!!
Running out of ideas for these!~ :D
YOU ARE READING
DJ/EDM Oneshots [DISCONTINUED]
Hayran KurguA book full of oneshots about DJ ships, and shitposting. Every ship is allowed and welcomed. [DISCONTINUED]
![DJ/EDM Oneshots [DISCONTINUED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/221197864-64-k394609.jpg)