Talk to me - Tommy Shelby x reader

Chapter 14

Tommy never showed at the office that day. You were on edge but you kept your head as high as possible as you worked thought the workload of the day. You asked Arthur when he got in if he knew where Tommy was. Arthur looked at you with an apologetic expression that told you that he might know where he was and why he was gone but said he didn't know anything. You nodded at his response and sat down again to work.

Even though you wanted to see Tommy again, you were dreading to hear what his conclusion of his thought could be. You were not ready to say good bye but you had to if he really wanted to be with someone else. Maybe someone else could make his nightmare disappear too and you would have to start living with yours again.

When people started to leave the office and the betting shop you sat behind and kept working. Lizzie gave your shoulder a squeeze which you barely noticed. It was first when it had gotten slightly darker outside and you had a hard time reading the papers because of the lack of light you stopped working. When you leaned back in the chair you looked around the office. You hadn't notice the person in the doorway, even though it was the only light source nearby. Polly stood there with her arms folded over her chest and watched you with a little pity in her eyes.

"You need to come in for dinner." She spoke in a low and calm voice but the office was so silent that a shiver went though you. What if it was the last time she ever said that to you?

"Yes. I'm coming." You mumbled and got up from your chair. Polly kept standing in the doorway while you cleaned up your desk. You didn't want to take the trip into the office and clean it the day after, if Tommy kicked you out. You didn't want to look Lizzie or anyone else in the eyes after that, you just wanted to disappear as fast as possible. You put everything personal on your desk in your bag you always brought with you to work, even though it was just downstairs. It looked more professional.

It was weird sitting down at the dinner table. The atmosphere in the room was tense. Esme tried to talk you up and you help feed the children like you had become used to. When you had a moment where you forgot your surroundings and your thoughts was somewhere else, Polly put a hand on your arm and let her thumb rub calming circles on your skin. It was such a motherly gesture that you couldn't help but smile a little. Tommy didn't join you for dinner and neither did John or Arthur. No one mentioned anything at all like it was the normal. You excused yourself as fast as possible after the dinner and went to you and Tommy's shared room.

You walked in circles like you had seen Tommy do from time to time when he was stressing about work. Pacing did help you calm down at all. You thoughts went everywhere and you thought up every bad thing that could happen. You were going to be alone and there was nothing you could do about it. Then why wait for him to come back and tell it to your face? You could save yourself from an embarrassment. You could be ready to leave as soon he comes back, if you just could find a bag somewhere you could borrow. The you could say your good byes and them leave immediately. Or maybe even before he got home. You moved about in the room and started emptying the drawers that had become yours. You collected all your things and placed them on the bed to get an overview of how much you stuff you had actually moved to Tommy's. It gave you a type of calm when you had something to do and you thought about something else. Packing. You just needed to not think about the reason.

When you had got all your clothing neatly folded and your stuff in the bathroom collected you left the room without looking back and went looking for Esme. She must have some kind of bag you could you to transport all your things to your apartment. You went to her and John's room where she sat rocking their youngest in her arms. She smiled up at you from the edge of the bed. There was something so calming about it. The whole atmosphere of the room with the dim light from a yellow lightbulb hanging in the celling was so warm and comfortable. You felt like you were intruding on a precious moment, but Esme patted her hand on the bed beside her, urging you to sit down. You did as she instructed.