The Neighbor

Two Women; One Man

     I ran my hand through his hair as we kissed. He didn't have it spiked that day and it was surprisingly soft. His hands were wrapped around my waste. I pulled away, he only let me move back a little, keeping his hands around me. 

"I have to go. I promised I'd have lunch with Nikayla." I laughed.

He shook his head, "This is crazy Amaya." He sighed, letting go.

     The past few weeks had consisted of Blade going over to Nikayla's house in the morning and spending a few hours there and then late afternoon he would come over to my apartment and we would make out and laugh and talk a little. I always made him leave before I went to bed. I knew this was stupid, that Nikayla and I both couldn't be with him, but she still hadn't let Landon back into her life and I attributed that to Blade. He made her happy. I wanted to be less selfish, to cut things off with Blade and I, but as soon as he came in with his yellow eyes and irresistible smirk, I forgot all about it. There were rules however, we would not go in public, talk about what we were doing (even with each other) or mention Nikayla unless it was something important. Part of me wanted to know if they'd kissed or if he said the same breathtaking things he said to me, but I knew that it would be worse for me to know. This whole mess was my idea. I knew it, but I felt trapped, torn between two worlds.

Blade stood and headed to the door. I followed him.

    "I know Blade, I don't like it either." I said, blocking the door. "I'm going to talk to her right now at lunch. If she tells me she likes you though..." I tried to steady my breath, "We have to end whatever this is."

    Blade looked at me, bewildered, "There's no talking to you Amaya." He lifted me up, moving me out of his way. He opened the door, stepped out and looked at me. "I actually have somewhere I need to be. Let me know how lunch goes." He shut the door and I was left alone. I could feel his frustration and I shared in it. I felt bad going behind Nikki's back. I knew I needed to explain everything to her. Even though she wasn't even with Blade, she liked him. I had broken girl code. I switched out of my pink soffe shorts and plain black t-shirt. I threw on some ripped jeans and a red floral t-shirt and headed to her apartment with my head down.

   "Come here!" Nikki pulled me into a tight embrace. "I missed you!" I was glad to see her black and blue eye was healing nicely.

   I grinned. "I missed you too! I'm sorry I haven't been around as much. School has been crazy busy." I looked at her apologetically as she waved me off and held the door open for me. I walked in cautiously.

   "How are you doing?" I asked, sitting down at the table. She was in the kitchen, finishing up our chicken salads.

   "Honestly, it's been hard." She sighed. I went into the kitchen and began helping her. "I miss him. He may not have been a saint, but he was always here. Ya know?" We carried the plates to the table and sat down. She took a breath, then continued," I just don't know if I can ever find anyone who is good enough to replace him." I felt sick, she was thinking of taking him back.

    I nodded, "You will. You're beautiful, and caring, and one heck of a chef." I said and we both laughed a little. "You deserve someone who won't hurt you. Someone who knows how to love you in the right way." I say, taking a bite.

    "I don't know about all that." She blushes. "But it's sweet of you to say so." I smile at her. We eat in silence for a little bit, until I decide it's time to say what I should've said awhile ago.

    I take a deep breath, trying to form the right words when she says, "Do you like him, Blade I mean?"

   My heart stops. I swallow hard. "Like him?" My mind races, do I like him? "He's good company." I finish. Her expression darkens.

   Her eyes meet mine. "Yes, he is." She takes a bite. I can see her face, twisted in some sort of internal struggle. "I want him. To be with him. He makes me feel safe and happy. He comes over all the time. We talk, we have such a great time. I think we're having a moment, but then he starts talking about you. How amazing you are, how funny you are, how he can't believe you don't have a boyfriend. Where is she off to today? When's she coming back?" I see water forming in the corners of her eyes. She wipes it away and looks down. He talks about me? I feel happy and sad at the same time.

"We've been talking." I pause, watching her face. "Sort of romantically."

    She doesn't look surprised. "I figured. I just thought...well I don't know what I was thinking." She pushes her plate away, looking close to tears. "It's just that I want long-term. I want commitment. I'm ready for it, and I think he may be too. You are so focused on school and making your way in the world, something so much bigger than a relationship right now." Her cheeks were turning red. She tapped on the table, nervously. At first I was angry. How dare she say I'm not what he needs! Then I realized she was right. I wasn't the long-term type. Maybe, maybe he was. I had assumed by his smirk and sarcastic comments he just wanted a good time. Perhaps, he wanted more. I was at a loss for words.

"You're right." I looked down at the salad, not eating it.

    "All I'm asking is that you talk to him about it. Tell him that you aren't sure you want anything serious. Say that I do. I think it will mean more coming from you." She moved her salad back to her, eating it slowly.

   "Okay." I said. I didn't want to lose her. It hit me at that moment that I didn't want to lose him either.

"Does he tell you anything about himself?" She asked, catching me off-guard.

   I considered this. It dawned on me that I really didn't know anything about him. "No." I answered, then added, "He always gives me simple answers when I ask him anything about himself. "

   "He always gets these strange phone calls, but he'll never tell me who called him. He leaves right after he's off the phone, every time." She shrugged, taking another bite. I remembered all the times he had gotten a strange phone call when he was with me.

"Does he mention going somewhere when he's on the phone call?" I ask. 

She nods. "Yeah I heard him mention something about a Clementine."

"Let's follow him." I say eagerly. 

She looks at me, frightened. "No, no that's an invasion of his privacy. He'll hate us!" 

   "Then, that's his problem. If we're going to be spending this much time with him, we deserve to know who he is." I looked at her sternly so she listens to me carefully. This makes her panic.  

"Amaya, I can't loose him! I can't!" Her eyes were wide, full of fear. I didn't want to loose him either, but I needed answers. I refuse to let myself be this attached to somebody I didn't know. Besides, if us trying to learn about him made him cut us out of his life, then he wasn't someone either of us should be with anyways. I shiver, the idea of Blade not being in my life hitting me. 

"Okay, I guess no sense having him be angry with both of us. I'll just go." I leaned back. I was a little frustrated I would be going by myself, but I know if he gets angry with Niki it will crush her. This is something I have to do on my own. 

   She looked at me concerned, "It could be really dangerous. You don't know what you're going to be walking into." Her words resonated with me, fear coursing through me. I get composed and remind myself of the reason I'm doing this. This is completely necessary. 

   I shrugged her off, "I'll be okay. I'll be careful, I promise." She looked down and I took that as a sign that she wasn't going to try to stop me. "I have to go." I walked over and hugged her. "Thanks so much for lunch, I'll keep you updated." I raced out the door, heading towards his apartment. I needed to find Blade.