27. THE PACE OF MY PEACE

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When I was eight
My mother said, "Shhhh..."
When I talked loudly
And giggled while watching barbie
That's how I knew peace
When I was eight

When I was ten
My teacher said, "Quiet!"
When I spoke with my classmates,
While she was discussing
That's how I knew peace
When I was ten

When I was twelve
My friend raised her pinky finger
While rolling her eyes,
I smiled at her and said, "Sorry."
That's how I knew peace
When I was twelve

When I was fourteen
The priest said, "Peace be with you."
While I was inside the church,
Silently praying,
That's how I knew peace
When I was fourteen

When I was sixteen,
I heard nothing
I locked myself inside my room
Reading books alone
That's how I knew peace
When I was sixteen

And now I'm eighteen
I heard everything
While writing poetry
Now that the world is in chaos,
I don't know what peace means
When I am already eighteen

***
I wrote this poem almost two years ago, when I was 18 (one of the darkest years of my life). Rereading this made me realize that as I grow up, my perspective also changes. I added another stanza below. 

***

As I entered my twenties,
I heard myself clearer
For I muted unnecessary noises
I thought I needed in the past
That's how I know peace
Now that I'm already twenty

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