EDITING
" through laughs and warfare, for three years
i loved her. i'd do anything to protect her. but
i never thought that'd become my job.
i'm a spy, but she didn't know it. what she did
know was how much pushing me away hurt...
but she did...
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Me: Tammy...last night you said that you liked me.
I did it. I told her. Heh, it sounds as if I just confessed to her when really what I just did was quite reversed. I'm showing her what that bit of alcohol in her system confessed to me a night ago. In a way, I feel like this is the closest I'll get to a confession from her, and honestly, I don't mind. All I actually want is for her to be happy, and hopefully be it as my girlfriend or even date...but I know it won't be nearly that easy with her.
Tammy: WHAT?! And there's my confirmation. As soon as the fact of what she said to me the night before left my mouth, her head bolted up, her eyes not settling in one place, seemingly looking for an explanation, but one from herself. She lowered her head back down and cemented her gaze to the floor. " she's trying to find an excuse ", - I thought to myself. How can I tell? She's fiddling with her necklace, the one that has been passed on to her after numerous generations, shortly having arrived from her mother to her. Every time she concentrates on finding a solution, the first thing her fingers do is find the necklace.
Me: Tammy... I put my hand on her free one and she freezes once more. I press down harder, hoping to calm her down. Me: do you want to tell me what that was about?Was it true? Her eyes raise to mine for a short moment, before they start a commotion again, moving in all directions possible. Why can't you just feel safe around me, Tammy? Her cheeks turn flush and her hand sites away from mine. She abruptly gets up. Tammy: thank you for letting me stay the night, i think I should go now. And before her last words entirely escape her mouth, she jolts for the door.
Oh, Tammy, when will you stop running away from me... Yes. I let her leave even though for a split second my feet went to chase her. I let her leave because I know that one way or another, she'll come back. I snicker. Me: she likes me...she must like me. Why else would she react that way? Damn it, Tammy Brenner, why do you always have to invade my mind and why do you have to be so cute?! I won't let myself wait for you. I will show you that I deserve you. I will promise you that when you're ready to come back, I'll do anything I can to make you happy...
