Glimpse of an Aching Heart (Novelette)

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Walang buhay ang kanyang mga matang nangungusap sa mga bituin. Parang isang pitik nalang ay maluluha siya sa bigat ng kanyang nararamdaman. Kahit isang ideya ay wala akong maisip kung anong pinagdadaanan nito, bagamat sigurado akong hindi maayos at madali ang daloy ng buhay na tinatahak niya.

Gusto ko siyang tulungan ngunit iniisip ko kung ano ang pwede kong maitulong sa taong ito. Inaamin kong naaawa ako sa kanya dahil sa tingin ko'y may malaking problema itong pinagdadaanan at kahit anong gawin niya ay hindi siya makaalis. 

The other side of me wants to help him, yet I have no idea what's the first thing to do.

"Do you like the story?"

Sumilay ang aking ngiti. "Oo, maganda naman."

"How about a realistic one? Are you avid fan of realistic stories? I have some of it to share them with you."

Mabilis akong tumango sa kanya upang makinig. Mukhang matatagalan ako sa paguwi dahil marami rin pala siyang baon na kwento sa akin.

"Mas interesado ako sa kwentong nangyayari talaga sa totoong buhay kaysa sa mga kwentong gawa-gawa lang."

Nang sabihin ko ang salitang iyon, sumeryoso siya at tinuon ang kanyang mga mata sa mga bituin.

"May kilala kasi ako."

Kaibigan? Jowa? Pamilya?

"He feels nothing but emptiness, loneliness and hopelessness. He knows he's not dumb not to know that happiness is a choice. But every time he tried to chase it, the inner demon inside him will always be there to stop him."

I feel empathy to those people who struggles to fix their mental health. Somehow, I could relate into that difficult situation. Fortunately, I did well, got better and finally find my own stand in this world.

"Until he got sick of trying and managed to deal with it in order to survive for so long and this person is living a miserable life."

Kumirot ang aking dibdib habang nakikinig sa kanya. Damn it, I've been there too.

"The darkness drives him insane. He was waiting for some people to ask him if he was doing all right. But nobody really cares about that. Until he closed his world to the point where he stopped listening to them and never gave a fuck anymore."

Kinukutuban na ako at konti nalang ay tatanungin ko na siya. Dahil hindi lahat ng instinct ng babae ay tama!

"He no longer wants to listen to the crap that comes from the people he thought they were real."

Ganoon na ba kalalim ang pinagdadaanan at hinanakit ng kaibigan nito? Bakit pakiramdam ko may tinutukoy siyang iba?

"He even tried countless times to put an end to his life, but he also failed to do so. He was afraid of the consequences that might affect his beloved family."

Sa tanang buhay ko, siya lang ang nakilala kong may pinakamalungkot na ngiti at nakakaawang mga mata. Parang tinusok ng karayum ang aking dibdib habang pinagmamasdan ko siya.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

Masyadong personal ang isyu na ito para ibahagi niya sa akin. Sino ba naman ako? 

"Your eyes keep on asking me, Isaiah."

Napakagat ako sa sariling labi at mariing napapikit. Halos mahulog ang panga ko sa katunayang masyado akong halata.

"Who is that guy that you're talking about?"

Tumingin siya sa akin at matabang na ngumiti. "In front of you." at peke siyang natawa. "I don't want to hear the ridiculous crap and fake worries of my family and friends, Isaiah."