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9

Dean and I shared a look of 'the fuck?' before rushing back in the door.
Harper had woken up and she was having another panic attack. Sam had scooted the chair even farther into the corner and pressed himslef up against the wall.
"Whoa Harper what is it?" I asked, hurrying over to her and sitting next to her on the bed.
"Dreams." She gasped and glanced over at Sam making her breathing get even faster.
"Hey remember that 4,7,8 thing?" I asked wrapping an arm around her shoulders and giving her a gentle squeeze.
She nodded and began the timed breathing.
"So you have two types of nervous systems, your sympathetic and your parasympathetic. Your sympathetic is like your fight or flight response. It gets your adrenaline going and heart rate up and increases breathing. You following?" I began answering her question from her last panic attack. She nodded so I continued, "Your Parasympathetic nervous system is what your body is using at a resting state. When you breathe like that and hold your breath it sort of re-sets and puts your parasympathetic nervous system in control. Make sense?" She nodded as I rubbed the side of her arm.
Sam and Dean stayed at the perimeter of the rooms while Harper calmed down and continued breathing.
"Now," I began once she had begun to breathe normally and leaned her head on my shoulder, "what happened?" I asked.
She took one last shaky breath before beginning, "I was in the Gardener House and it was happening all over again. But only Sam showed up and he killed them all, but he let Geofery live.... And I just-"
"Hey hey hey. It's okay." I soothed leaning my head on top of hers, "You're safe and that bastard and all the other dicks who hurt you are long gone. We won't ever let them touch you okay?"
She shuddered and tried to hold back her tears, "I'm sorry..."
"About what?" I asked grabbing a tissue from the nightstand.
"Being such a pain." She muttered before blowing her nose and trying to pull herself together.
I laughed a little bit when I thought about how much worse I was when I showed up.
"Sweetie I was so much more annoying than you! First off, the boys didn't even invite me to the bunker, an angel practically threw me there. Second, I stole their coffee. Third, I got attacked by a demon when I went to get groceries because I was literally a beacon saying 'come capture me, your boss probly wants me' to every baddie out there. Fourth, I created so much awkward tension for a bit there that Dean literally got up and went for a drive for hours. You're a piece of cake compared to me." I smiled down at her.
She smiled and looked to Dean in a sort of 'really?' way and when he nodded she then glanced at Sam, "I'm sorry I scared you." She mumbled looking down at her face.
He gave her a small smile and spoke softly, "No need to apologize."
"His scared face is pretty funny though isn't it?" I asked giving Harper a small nudge making her giggle.
"Yeah when we came in he looked more scared than you!" Dean added cracking a grin.
"Okay, you're all hilarious." Sam grumbled rubbing his hands on his jeans and smiling a little more.
We spent a little more time cheering Harper up before I escorted the boys to their room so she could get some rest.
"Hey Sunshine?" Sam asked, leaning on the door frame so he was almost my height.
"Yes Samson?" I asked turning around and shuffling back to the door with a little exasperation.
"I forgot to tell you something today." He mumbled as he placed a hand on my hips.
"Oh? What's that?" I asked completely serious, thinking it would have to do with what Dad had done while I was in the shower.
"I love you." He whispered and brushed his lips against mine making me giggle like a complete fool and fall into him, connecting our lips completely.
"I love you too." I sighed in contentment when our lips parted.
"Good. Because this whole getting married thing would be really awkward if you didn't." He joked as he brushed my hair behind my ear.
"We still have to choose a venue. And like everything else." I groaned letting my head fall on his chest.
He chuckled and rubbed my back, "It's okay. We can look on that PinInterest girly thing on the way home tomorrow."
"Okay." I sighed.
We were quiet for a moment before Sam spoke in a low and somber tone.
"Harper wasn't panicking until I said hey to her. She looked a little out of it but not panicking."
I hummed in acknowledgement as I let this soak in.
Why is it just Sam?
"I tried to get up and get you but she was in between the door and me and I didn't want to scare her more..." he muttered.
"Sam." I said lifting my head and making sure he was looking at me before I continued, "Don't beat yourself up okay?"
He nodded but I could tell he wouldn't let it go.
"Anxiety and that kind of stuff aren't logical, thats why they're called disorders. She just needs to feel a little more in control of herself and she will probably start to open up more." I pressed the subject bringing a hand up to his cheek and forcing him to look at me.
"I try not to be a... a monster. I really do..." He whispered looking downright miserable.
"Samuel Winchester you are not a monster. Do you understand me? You help people, you fix things, and you make the world a safer place to live. Don't you dare call yourself a monster." I finished by getting up on my tiptoes and giving him a kiss.
"Are you going to be okay?" He asked pressing his forehead against mine.
Probably not seeing as I barely slept last night but it's either that or leave Harper alone and I can't do that yet.
"I'll live." I smiled at him.
He gave me the 'oh really?' look and I sighed a little, closing my eyes.
"I can't leave her okay? I don't want her to wake up alone. I need to be there for her." I whispered.
"I told you I love you right?" He asked with a small chuckle.
I nodded and cracked a smile before my lips were occupied. He smiled into the kiss and pulled me closer as my hands found his hair.
Someone cleared their throat and knocked on the wall efficiently separating us.
"Done making everyone gag with PDA?" Harper called leaning out of our door, "Its time to change my bandages." She said with an almost fed up smile and raised eyebrows.
"What? Do you think it's weird when old people kiss?" I teased pulling Sam back down for annother kiss.
"Oh my God guys stop!" She groaned and rolled her eyes as she retreated back into our room.
"I'll see you in the morning Sunshine." Sam whispered leaving a few last pecks on my lips.
"Goodnight Samson." I giggled.
"Dean was right, you are disgustingly cute." Harper teased me before I even shut the door behind me as she set out the new gauze and tape.
I just laughed at her as I cut a new piece of gauze.
"No seriously. It's weird seeing the woman who has been parenting me for the past few days make out with the big scary one." She reiterated, completely candid for the first time since we met.
"Why do you think he's so scary?" I asked prepping the tape and making sure none of the gauze touched the beds.
"He's twice my size!" She exclaimed peeling her shirt off, "You said you had an abusivive boyfriend and you're telling me he didn't intimidate you at first?"
I had a response ready about the books and not exactly realizing how abused I was at the time but I lost it when I turned around.
Harper's torso was covered in bruises in various stages of healing, some obviously from a blunt object, some a foot. There was one set of light blue-ish brown marks that made me sick to my stomach though.
"Harper where did those handprints come from?" I asked tentatively.
"Which ones?" She grunted pulling off the old gauze to reveal deeper bruising and stitches.
"The ones on your hips. The ones you only get from... That...." I couldn't coke out the words as I looked at her almost in tears.
"Yeah. From that." She mumbled grabbing the gauze and laying it on her side, "Get taping I want to sleep."