Broken

forty

3 days later
Jordan

"Benny man, a nigga is tired". I sighed taking a pull from the blunt before going down the hall to check on Zamani who was sleeping. Benny let out a laugh.

"When's the last time you've slept man?" He said as I walked back into the living room to sit on the couch.

"Maaan, if I knew I would have told you. Mani kept me up all night man. It's like she knows something is missing. And it's is ... her mom". I rubbed my hand across my face. I brought Zamani home yesterday morning and I'm not going to lie it was challenging. I was so lost and scared. I called Quan and Benny to come over and help me. Shit, 3 clueless niggas was better than one. She spit up on Quan and the first dirty diaper was the icing on the cake, so he dipped. Benny stayed though and with the help of Chrissy and FaceTime , we made things work. Once it got late though, Zamani wouldn't go to sleep for nothing. She just cried and cried and cried all night. I WANTED TO CRY . Benny tired, I tried. I called Chrissy and tried everything she said. After trying everything, I picked Zamani up and took her to our bedroom which was very dark I laid on with bed with her on my chest and I started to swipe though pictures of Nae. I began just talking about her mommy and how beautiful she was just like her. She finally settled and went to sleep after about 15 minutes.  I really need Lanae to wake up because I don't wanna do this without her. Seeing Mani's big brown eyes stare and settle on Nae's pictures melted my heart. She needs her mommy. I need her too.

"You gone answer ya phone bro?" I was snapped out of my thoughts by Benny telling me my phone was ringing. 

"Shit been ringing for a minute" He said before starting to roll another blunt. I grabbed my phone checking the Caller ID, my heart dropped to my feet when I realized it was the hospital calling me.

"H-hello". I coughed up while sitting up from the slouched position I was in.

"Jordan Moss?" , sounded like the nurse who helped me that night when the accident first happened.

"Yeah"

"This is Nurse Leann Murphy, and I'm calling concerning Lanae Givens who is the mother of your child."

"Is she alright?" . I blurted out. My heart was pounding and beating out of my chest. I really needed some good news right now. I was on the verge of losing my mind at any second.

"She asking for you Mr. Moss"

Click. Beep. Beep. Beep

I hung up the phone without giving her a reply. Did I hear her correctly? Did she just ask Nae was asking for me? She woke up ? Am I dreaming? Finally the moment I've been praying and asking for but now suddenly I realized the reason she's in this position is because of me. She would have never had gotten caught in this mess if she hadn't started fucking with me. It's my fault why her life is going in the direction it's going in. What if she only wants to see me to tell me that she hates me? What if she realized I'm at fault and breaks up with me? I don't wanna lose her.

"Everything alright bruh?" Benny snapped my out of my thoughts again.

"She's awake Benny."

"Then what the fuck are we still doing here?" Benny got up off the couch and grabbed the baby bag. I slowly got up off the chair and started to walk in the direction of the Zamani's nursery. Benny stopped before I made it there.

"She's not going to hate you and she doesn't blame you , so stop and go see ya girl and Zamani can finally meet her mom"

That's when it hit me. Zamani is finally going to meet her mom. She doesn't have to get a earful of my stories and me always hawking over her beauty but now she can finally get the moment and love her for herself. I nodded at Benny and got Zamani together and we headed to the hospital.

Lanae

"Where is he Chris ?" My voice was horse and raspy. The nurses had just taking the tube out of my throat not to long ago so it was sore. My body ached but I was finally glad to be okay. I was so tired of living in my head.

"He's coming Nae, but are you okay really ?" Chrissy spoke while getting up and grabbing my hands

"I'm fine, just glad to be here... I need some water though". I looked around for the bed remote to page the nurse.

"Don't worry, I'll get ya some so you don't gotta wait all day for these slow ass nurses and aids." She quickly walked out the room and down the hall. I sighed because Jordan had to yet get here and I was tired of waiting. I started to flip through the channels on the tv, Martin was on so I just started watching that.

"So you finally decided to wake up from avoiding me ? ... or should I say us?" Hearing the familiar voice I turned my attention towards the door and tears instantly started to fall from my eyes. There stood Jordan holding my daughter in his arms . OUR DAUGHTER. I reached my arms out for them simply because I couldn't find the words to speak. Jordan walked over and kissed me on my cheek, then my lips.

"Don't ever scared me or leave me like that again ma" . I nodded my head and kissed him back while I continued to cry. He pulled away from me and then placed Zamani in my arms. She cooed and babbled a little.

"Zamani, here's your mommy I've been telling you all about". After getting her position right and holding her head properly I started to play with her hand.

"Hi my baby, mommy is so sorry she couldn't be here when you first made your appearance, but I'm here now" I sniffled and smiled at her beautiful face. She was so healthy and a blessing. Jordan then got in the bed beside me and held me while I held our daughter.

"I'm glad you're okay mamas", then he kissed my forehead.

"Me too baby" .

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Sorry for the mistakes.