Forming Trust- An Ela X Reader Fanfiction

Cloudy

"If you're going for it, I am going for it as well."

~ Light Yagami, Death Note

July 21st, 2022

0200

I stretched my back as I contemplated getting up from my futon. It was what, 2 am? I clicked a little button on my wrist tablet (Name is still under design... Emmanuelle wants to come up with a really cool one) and yup, 0200, right on the dot. The last of my shows had just finished airing... nothing left to do. I shut off my T.V and laid back for a moment. Is it really worth getting up this late?

I tried to close my eyes, but it was to no avail.

click, click, click, click, click, click.

Nonstop typing, just like mechanical rainfall. The pitter patter of fingers pressing keys in the main room kept me up. It had been like this every night since the couple had moved in... one could only wonder what was going on. I had a good clue, but I let him continue. It's good for someone to learn on their own and strive to achieve something, especially when they're as inspired as he is.

Numerous times throughout the night I had heard angered noises and the slamming of fists against a desk. This was also normal for someone conducting fairly difficult research, but it had become more and more frequent as the nights had gone on. I worried... he was a medic, not an analyst. Who knows how much he was actually gaining from his sleepless nights?

Eh, today seems about right. This has gone on long enough I know he won't stop until he gets the answers he wants. I opened my door and walked out to the living room. The scene was exactly what I had guessed; an angry Y/n leaning over one of my laptops with a pad of paper next to him.

"You alright?"

He quickly reached for the keyboard and alt-tabbed. Of course he did. I doubt he thinks I'd help him.

"Don't want me seeing what kinda porn you're into, huh?"

Y/n nervously chuckled. "ha-haha, yeah."

I walked up to him and quickly grabbed the computer from his lap. He tried to defend, but I was too fast. I had quickly pushed him back to his knees and was looking through the laptop.

"Hmmm... J.D, Masks, toxic gas? What kind of weird kinks are you into? Also, I think you spelled B.J wrong."

"M-may I please have the computer back?"

I sat the laptop down on the table and sat across from him. I made sure Y/n was looking me in the eyes before I spoke.

"Look, I apologize for teasing you, but I couldn't let that joke pass. But anyways, I know you've been sitting out here every night after Ela goes to bed; your typing is really loud."

Y/n looked worried. His face showed a mix of fear, embarrassment, and apology.

I chuckled. "You're not in trouble, so don't act like I'm about to scold you." I looked over the laptop for a brief moment, "I know what you're doing, and I have a clue why, but I need you to explain to me why you're doing this."

I set the laptop down next to him and moved myself so that I was sitting across from him. He took a moment, took a deep breath, and began speaking.

"I want revenge. I know violence usually isn't the answer, but I need to bring an end to J.D. At first it was just revenge for Timur, Ela, and myself... but now... I've seen what he's done."

Y/n's face looked deeply disgusted. He must've researched what the white masks, led by J.D, had done to the children in Sudan a few years ago. Disgusting experiments those men conducted.

He resumed speaking. "I love Ela... and I love this world. It may sometimes be merciless, but I love it. Ever since my... recent encounter with the masks in London, nothing has felt the same. At first, everything was grey, and I could barely taste anything. Since Ela woke up, things have been better... but I just don't feel like I did before. There's this... pain in my chest. I don't know how to explain it, but I know that killing J.D is the only way to get rid of that pain."

So that's it.

"Y/n... you're fueled with revenge. I hope you know that's a risky mentality... revenge has the uncanny ability to devour everything in its path, good or bad."

He looked at me, deprived. His face was weary, his expression was unhappy, but I could see the determination in his eye.

Y/n resumed speaking. "I know... I keep telling myself it's all for vengeance, for justice, but I know I'm just lying to myself when I do. I want revenge, and I can promise you I'm not going to stop until one of us is dead."

Y/n was in a moralic struggle. I could tell. The lines between justice and murder were already so blurry, but then add his predicament... the poor boy was going through hell. He wanted to kill this man, this man that took nearly everything from him, no matter what, even if it was wrong. I knew these stories... one can only hope Y/n doesn't go down the bloodthirsty, rogue AWOL path. Violence is necessary in the military, it just needs to be somewhat controlled. Things often get out of control when feelings are on the line.

"Why do you need to kill him? Will it quench your thirst for revenge?"

He looked down, even more dissapointed in himself. I don't even think he could bare to look me in the eyes.

"Revenge is currently my reason for living. My life cannot change until he is dead. I cannot sleep properly until he is dead. Until HE is dead, I will do everything in my power to get rid of him, legal or not. He is like a ghost, constantly haunting me. I just want the nightmares to go away! She screams in her sleep, I do, it's terrible! I hate it, and I can't stand to see her in pain! I just want peace!"

Y/n was almost cry-yelling at this point. It was pitiful, and I felt bad for him. I almost contemplated bringing the poor soldier in for a hug. So... he isn't just fueled by revenge. He wants to fix his and her life, and he believes he can do that by killing J.D. Not a perfect mentality, but I guess it makes sense.

I started gently patting his shoulder, the little I could to comfort him.

"Look... Y/n. It's alright. You're not a bad person, and we're going to fix all this."

He began wiping the small bit of tears that had fallen from his eyes. "We?"

"Yes, we. It's my job to take care of you until you're ready to leave Japan. I know I'm not exactly supposed to help you plot a way to get rid of J.D, but no one said I can't get you info? Wipe the rest of those tears from your eyes and hand me a computer... we're working tonight."

In silence, Y/n handed me another one of my numerous laptops and I opened it. I quickly got to work, probably gaining more information in about 25 minutes than he had done the past few days. He sat there, quietly watching. I could tell Y/n was going through a lot, so I just let him collect himself.

After a bit longer, he spoke.

"Masaru... thank you. I promise I'll pay you back however I can."

I nodded. "It's no problem. You've shown you aren't gonna stop until you reach your goal... I might as well help you reach it quicker."

"Just please... don't tell Ela. She'll try to stop me."

I smiled at him. "Don't worry kid, that was already the plan. Lips sealed... won't tell her about your pornography."

Y/n laughed, finally showing a smile, and we spent the rest of the night collecting possibly useful data on the white masks and their leader, the notorious and former shadow J.D.