Kelsey
I. Am. Sore.
He just woke up from his position and I need to wake him up. I stretched my shoulder and even my back a few times to relieve my body but to no avail.
"Sorry, I fell asleep." He said as he eyes me while I'm stretching
"Nah, it's fine. You seem so peaceful, I don't have the heart to wake you up but I had to since your grandma had called us minutes ago." He smiled once before helping me get up on my feet.
"Maybe it's food." He said happily before pulling me through the halls until we both reached the dining hall. I thought he was supposed to stay with his cousin TJ who has custody over him but turns out he stays with his grandma every now and then.
"I was gonna deliver food in your room but I guess this works fine too." Grandma Katherine said the moment she saw us.
Their house is filled with their family pictures ever since the Jackson 5 and the rest of the siblings were still kids. I even saw some of the awards Michael has taken home with him in a glass cabinet inside Bigi's room earlier.
"Thank you for the food." I said and she just smiled widely at me.
I remember my grandma used to scold me if I lunge at the food the moment it's served in front of me, always reminding me to be grateful everytime it arrives in our dining table because not everyone gets to eat whenever they wanted. I didn't understand it before but ever since I grew up, little by little I understood what she meant.
"You know what, I'll just eat upstairs!" Paris announced and one by one Bigi's family members exited the dining room making me look from left to right with a confused look. Did I creep everybody out?
"Where are they going?"
"Probably somewhere else?"
I quietly ate my food.
"So, have you studied anything?" Bigi started asking while munching on his food, with a lot of food on his mouth honestly and I have to shove his face away from mine while laughing.
"Well, if you can count being sore after a couple of hours of being a human pillow, then yes I have studied." I sarcastically told him and he just rolled his eyes at me the way he usually does whenever I use the tone followed by his usual smile.
We stayed quiet for the remainding time that we are eating our snacks. Besides for the fact that I'm not really much of a talker when I eat, I just feel comfortable even if I'm being quiet around Bigi.
He's the type that you don't need to be talkative or spill your heart out just so you both won't be awkward each other and after what had happened with Fatima, it became hard for me to just talk about myself whenever I'm around people. Heck, I even find it hard to talk to my family or a doctor and admit to people what I'm going through... Talking is hard in general. Maybe that's why I liked Bigi in the first place. We're both quiet, not talkative, and we barely share our personal grief but we do from time to time ever since we became close. Most of it were about him and I'm thankful that he doesn't push me to talk when I don't feel like it.
But no matter how comfortable I am with Bigi, I still find it hard to open myself. I'm still caging myself in, trying to stop me from being genuinely happy with the people who had stuck around me. I'm still the same Kelsey for the past couple of years, the one who doesn't let anyone in just because she blamed herself for what had happened that was beyond her control.
"Anything wrong?" I shook my head and smiled at him just so he could stop worrying about me.
But that's the thing... Everything's wrong. Everything has been wrong since that night but what's more sad is that I can't do anything about it.
Maybe that's why I have been trying to avoid appointments with the doctor just like what my parents want to. Maybe that's why day after day my condition has only been worsening. I'm shutting people out, I'm locking myself in even when they're trying to reach in and help me because deep inside, I'm broken... beyond repair.
"Let's go back in my room?" He asked and I just nodded at him. He must have sensed my sudden shift of mood even when I want to show him that I'm doing just fine moments ago.
We continued studying upstairs and this time, we are genuinely studying. No playfulness, no sleeping, no tardiness, just him helping me study and vice versa.
This is what I like whenever I'm with Bigi and I can't help but to feel bad about it when I'm feeling giddy inside. He knows how to adjust for me but I can't do the same for him. When I said I'm not sure if I like him, he genuinely wanted to find about it more together and it makes me happy, more than happy actually.
When it was time for me to go home, Bigi insisted for to take me home since he's gonna be at Gareth's house anyway for another of their game nights.
"Mr. Cruz, as promised, I brought her home complete." I admire how he's being formal with my dad even when the older insists him not to. Gareth and Chloe tease him about this but he does not budge.
"Thanks Bigi, why don't you stay for dinner?" My heart warmed with my dad's offer. You know how dads are usually so over-protective acting oh-so-mighty when boys try to hit on their daughters? He wasn't like that and he's nothing but very welcoming every time Bigi drops by.
"I wanted to but Gareth's waiting for me, sir. Plus, Kelsey might get tired of me if I hangout with her too much." I rolled my eyes at his response.
"Please, we are together most of the time and I never did complain about it." I said and before I could stop myself, the three people that I'm with right now are already smiling like stupid at me. Max's eyebrows are even wiggling like she's really happy about it and I have to widen my eyes just so she would stop but who am I kidding anyway? This is Maxine Cruz for Pete's sake! She's like a super-annoying little brother inside a female's body. Are little siblings supposed to be this way?
"I should get going, Mr. Cruz. Gareth has been texting me already."
Dad smiled before I walked Bigi out of our house.
"Drive safely Wazowski." I said smiling and he nodded. He went inside the car not before he stole a kiss on my cheek and skipping happily towards his car while I stood there, eyes wide, with red cheeks and a heart beating rapidly.
It took me a couple of minutes before going back inside the house where my father and sister are sitting on our living room couch with their crazy smirks and feets crossed.
"Our Kelsey's finally growing up." Dad said before coughing after it registered on him that his tone is so cringe-worthy.
"I mean, you go inside your room young lady straight after dinner and we're gonna talk." I was about to complain that I'm gonna do the dishes so I could run away from him but Dad appointed Max to do it and the latter whined but stopped when Dad glared at her.
"We won't be dead if we run away tonight, right?" Max whispered while Dad went to fix the dinner table...
"Wanna know what would happen?" I whispered as I tease her and she just gave up.
