A State Of Euphoria (J.M)

12

            The fallout me and Ethan had was finally starting to become noticeable but as I sat in my bed scribbling new song lyrics I didn't expect for him to knock on my doorway much less to be holding flowers "you may enter" I say and he walks over and sits on the bed next to me I close my note boom just as he does "what happened" he asks bluntly and I look at him confused did this dude really not know what "happened" I thought it was more self-explanatory "we fucked that's what happened" I say a little too vulgarly "what no we didn't!" He yells and I look at him confused I thought waking up naked in a bed with someone who was also just as naked meant you fucked "that doesn't make sense we were both naked when I woke up beside that shirt you gave me" I state and he shakes his head "if you had removed the covers you would've noticed I was wearing boxers and you were naked under the shirt because you puked all over you're clothing" he explained and it all hit a moment of realization
"Oh, shit we didn't fuck" I admit he nods "I could've told you that two weeks ago if you had stayed," he tells me and I nod now I suddenly felt bad he took care of me while I was blackout drunk instead of taking advantage of me like most guys would "oh shit Ethan I'm sorry" I apologize I take his hand in mine and he sighs before pulling me into his arms for a hug I accept it and stare up at him "did we kiss?" I ask he shakes his head wow I didn't even kiss the guy "well I think you deserve an award for dealing with Blackout Lena" I explain so I climb in his lap and press my lips on his they were so much better than I imagined "worth the wait" he whispers out and I tense up thinking back to the night when Jess muttered those same words into my ear

~Flashback~

             Prom night was cut short while Jess and I ran up the stairs of Luke's in a rush to get out all of our pent up sexual tension we entered the apartment and as Jess closed the door he pushed me up against it kissing my lips roughly and I let his tongue slip into my mouth as I let out a quiet moan he pulls away taking my hand and leading me over to the bed I decide to take some control down unbuttoning his shirt while I kissed his neck I pushed him down on the bed quickly he let out a grunt as I kissed down his chest and pulled me up quickly onto his lap and kissing my lips again "I'm done teasing I need you" I mutter against his lips he nods taking off his suit jacket and helping me unzip my dress as we continued to kiss until we were both bare

(After)

I laid against jess's chest and was circling my finger around his palm as he played with my hair with his out hand "I love you Selena you know that right" he admits and I nod looking up at him "I love you more" I answer he smirks letting out a scoff "not possible" I giggle at this taking his hand in mine as I interlocked then he pressed a kiss on my forehead "how was it" I ask he chuckles before kissing my hand that was holding his "worth the wait" he breathes out and I smile at this

~flashback over~

I almost cried on the spot I guess Ethan noticed my mood change because he sighed as I slipped out of his lap "did I say something that-" I cut him of shaking my head "just an old memory" I explain I begin to feel anxious and shake repeatedly Ethan noticed this and jumped into action "what can I do!" He asks frantically as I begin to feel my joints shut down "in my drawer" I pointed at the drawer that held my meds and he went to grab them and handed them to me quickly I took them and waited for them to kick in "what can I do now I-" I cut Ethan off "just come lay with me" I tell him he nods and as I lay down he pulls me into his chest I can feel his heartbeat he's nervous I giggle at this he really was a good guy

It was later in the day and Ethan had left to go to football practice but not before making sure I was fully okay which I was my joints were just a bit sore I was still okay to move around I was still in my room just this time I was attempting to organize my shoes Reni was right they were out of control "need a hand" I hear I look up to see Scotty who is holding two cups of tea in his hand and a cookie I nodded as he walked into the room handing my things "Ethan told me what happened I thought I should check on you" he admits I smile at him I love that Scotty and I were like brother and sister he always had my back and I had his "you never told me you had a medical disorder" he points out I shrug "it never came up I only get episodes if I get too anxious angry or sad" I explained he nods and I nibble on my cookie happily he knew how much I love their cookies "So what caused it" he asks and freeze up i sighed before deciding to tell him "me and Ethan finally kissed" I start and he nods showing me his listening "then he told me it was worth the wait and the last time a guy said those words to me it was" I sighed not wanting to say his name "The last guy you loved" he asks and I nod he sighed pulling me into a hug I accepted "Selena he honest with me are you sure you're ready to be in a relationship with Ethan?" He asks and I realize I have no idea sure Ethan was sweet and thoughtful caring and kind but he wasn't Jess but why did I want him to to be it didn't seem fair to Ethan