Narrator: After losing all of my insurance savings and getting both a beating and a divorce warning from my wife, I'm currently at the hospital fighting for my life. Unfortunately, my contract prevents me from stopping narrating this thing, so here I am. Last time we saw our virgin protagonist and his unorthodox gang of idiots finally making their way to Celadon City to challenge Erika, the Grass type gym leader. Will he be able to defeat her and continue his road to victory? What surprises or rather bullshit will this asshole lead us to? Is Erika a hidden drug lord nobody knew about? Let's find out!
Ari: Now that's an introduction.
Edward: I can't believe I'm saying this. But I almost feel pity for him... almost.
Ari: I don't. Fuck that guy.
Narrator: I can hear you, you know?
Ari: I know. (─‿‿─)
Edward: I honestly don't give a fuck at this point.
Narrator: Assholes.
(Edward's POV)
Well, here we are. I'm finally taking a step more in the right direction. To my destiny. Taking the step is what separates the bold from the-
Diglett: Glett!
Edward: Oh fuck!
But as soon as I took that step, a Diglett randomly appeared from under my foot, making me stumble and fall on my ass.
Edward: Holy Arceus! Why do you keep doing this to me?!
Ari: Who's that Pokémon?
Edward: A fucking Diglett!
Ari: Why is it called Diglett though?
Chris: Very simple. His name comes from the word-
Ari: Dildo..?
Edward: ...
Chris: ... ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )
Ari: ... What?
Edward: You really need to stop reading porn, girl. (；一_一)
Ari: D-Don't judge me!
She says with her whole face blushing from embarrassment.
Ari: A-Anyway *clears throat* What is he doing here?
Chris: Um... Maybe because this is the DIGLETT CAVE?! Duh!
He says mocking of her before receiving a kick right in his face that almost left him K.O.ed in the ground and with a black eye.
Ari: Idiot.
Edward: Whatever! A Dugtrio is not a bad Pokémon at all, so he'll be-
Chris: Wait a second!
He says suddenly standing up from his position.
Chris: Allow me to capture him.
He says determined.
Edward: Why?
Chris: This one seems to have spirit. I want him on my team!
Edward: I thought you wanted to be a rock type specialist like Brock.
I say confused.
Ari: Yeah, why would you want a ground type Pokémon?
Edward: Well, to be fair, Sandshrew is also a pure ground type. But that doesn't really answer the question.
YOU ARE READING
Pokémon: Revolutions
FanfictionEdward is lost in life, with almost no social skills or friends, he has lived in monotony until now. Despite that he now has a goal, to win every league and defeat the champions in every single region, to prove to the whole world and himself that HE...
