November (ManxMan)

One

I applied the ointment to the bruise around my eye, my hands shaking as I did so.

Mason never hit me on the face, he always aimed for lower places that could be hidden away with clothes or a scarf or that one time, concealer. Never my face. It felt like he was trying to pass a message and I got it, loud and clear.

He had corrected me so many times and yet I still made the same mistake again. This time he  had hit my face. It's a warning, other people would ask what happened and if I tell them, they might agree with Mason. I didn't want people telling me I was in the wrong, I already knew that. I only wanted someone I love to tell me my faults.

It hurt though. It hurt a lot.

I could go.

I could pack my bags and just walk out the door.

The question is where do I got? I had only one friend and he was married with kids. The last thing I wanted to do was interrupt their lives with my messy self. There was no one other I could run to and so... I'll stay.

Once I was done applying the ointment, I slipped on my sunglasses and walked out of the bathroom. Though I had been staring at my reflection in the mirror as I applied the ointment, I didn't know what exactly I looked like. I didn't pay attention to any part of my body or face, just that one bruised eye.

I already know I have red hair and blue eyes, I didn't need to know anything else.

It was a bit past nine in the morning and Mason had already gone to work. I picked around the house before using the vacuum. The windows were drawn and the room was lit up with sunlight. I missed having somewhere to go to.

The only time I ever left the house was for an event and even then, those were spaced out because  Mason did not see my work as essential, like an actual job. So the only jobs I took were book readings where sand art was needed. That's what I do. I'm a Sand Animator.

Since I take minimum jobs, I make a thousand per show and it's been three months since my last show. Mason doesn't like it though, he doesn't like that I practice and spend most of the time with my little sandbox. He said he makes enough for the two of us and I didn't need to work.

When I was younger, I used to dream about being a house husband , working from home and taking care of the kids but this... living with Mason was not how I envisioned it. He was never like this when he started dating. He was always so charming, sweet words falling out of his mouth and he always held me like I was it but once we moved in together, everything changed.

Everything and everywhere began to hurt.

I could run away.

I always think that but I always end up staying. And since I only had one friend, Mason was going to find me and what he might do might be worse. I raised a finger to my face, lightly touching the bruise. And he has threatened me, he had also threatened to hit my friend, Tommy.

"I will lock him in here with you and beat him up so badly he'd end up in the hospital," Mason threatened. "He would hate you and want nothing to do with you. And who would you have left?" Mason threatened.

Whenever I think I could do it, I could run away, I always end up remembering that threat and the glint in Mason's eyes, the dip in his tone said it loud and clear.

Besides, I had other reasons for staying. I didn't want to leave Mason, I love him and he takes care of me. Even after the hits, he makes sure I'm okay and he's so lovely about it and that always makes me realize I'm the one in the wrong. My trying to run away won't fix anything and it's not a good idea to run away from my problem, when I am the problem.