November (ManxMan)

Fourteen

"A relationship is not something you should be fearful of. It's love, care, kindness, mutual respect for yourselves." Dr. Fletcher said, looking at me over the rim of his glasses. He says those words and all I can think about is my friendship with Aizen.

Again, I found myself wondering what if?

"What you went through wasn't easy and the fact that you went that long with support, without anyone telling you positive things, good things, must have made it ten times harder. He isolated you and that was not right. No relationship is supposed to be like that." He said and I simply stared at him. I felt like I was getting better. It's just. . . there were some days where I felt like I just wanted to stay in bed or hide at the house.

Days like today.

I was listening to the good doctor but I just didn't have the words to say to him. Either in response or at all.

"You can go home now, if you'd like." Dr. Fletcher said, staring at me with a worried expression on his face.

"I'm sorry, my mind is just. . ."

"It's alright, Deri. It happens to the best of us." The doctor said as he gets up from his seat, I got to my feet as well, walking towards him and gave him a hug. He walked me out of the office and immediately Aizen sees me, he gets to his feet and hurried over. He looked worried. He placed one hand on my shoulder and his other hand cupping my face, tilting my head up so I could look into his eyes.

"Are you alright? You went in thirty minutes ago?" he asked me and then turned to the doctor to ask, "Is he okay?"

"Deri needs to rest a bit, we'll pick up from where we left off next time." The doctor said and I smiled softly at Aizen who just continued to look at me. Dr. Fletcher bid us goodbye and went back into this office.

Aizen cups my face with his hands, stepping a bit closer so I could feel his warmth. I reached out, holding on to his shirt, at his sides, tightly.

"Okay, petal. Are you alright?"

I didn't answer verbally but instead, I shrugged.

"Do you feel okay?"

This one I replied to with a shake of the head.

He let go of my face and pulled me in for a hug, wrapping his arms around me. I placed my head on his chest, breathing in calmly or else I was going to cry and the last place I wanted to cry was in the waiting room of my therapist's office with his assistant/receptionist watching. When we pull apart minutes later, Aizen pressed a kiss to my forehead, his right hand slipping down to hold mine.

"Let's go."

Aizen ended up taking us home, he leads me to the in-home theater, takes me all the way to the back and sits me down. He disappears for a bit but he comes back just as the movie starts with fresh popcorn and two drinks with straws.

Aizen had chosen the Titanic. He does not say a word as he sits beside me, his arm resting on the back seat of my chair. When the boat begins to sink, I stared crying. The tears rolling down my eyes. At first I was crying because of the movie scene and the music but then it shifts. I started crying for me.

I wailed, salty tears dripping down my face, I could feel the snot slipping out of my nose. My entire body was shaking with it. I kept asking myself why I wasn't alright? Why I wasn't okay? Why didn't I get out of the relationship as soon as things started going wrong? Why was I quiet? Why did I make excuses for him? For my actions?

Why didn't I choose the right guy? Why didn't I choose the right friend? Why did I never reach out? Would I ever be okay?

I cried so hard my body shook, I cried so hard my eyes hurt and there was a throb at the back of my neck. That was when he pulled me to him, that was when he hugged. I clung to his shirt, burying my face into his chest as I cried.

Aizen rubbed gently at my back, telling me it was going to be alright. And that was all I wanted. I wanted everything to be alright. I wanted to be okay.

I cried so much that I didn't even notice the blackness around my eyes until eventually I drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up, I was in my bed, carefully tucked in. it was dark outside, the humidifier was on and quiet music playing from the speaker. Aizen was not a man of many words but he does speak with his actions. He wanted me to cry and went about his way to make it so. He wasn't used to being emotional or helping emotional people but he does try and he has tried a lot for me. He was my knight in shiny armor.

I had a quick shower, pulling on plaid pants and a black shirt. I didn't bother doing anything to my hair, instead I just made my way outside the room. There was a sweet smell in the air. The best smell. It made my tummy rumble. It was food.

Actually, it smelt like pizza.

I made my way down the stairs and towards the sitting room where I could hear the sound of the tv. Aizen was typing away on his laptop, the news playing on the huge tv screen. He turns to look over his shoulders when I stepped in. I tried to be as quiet as I could but he always seemed to hear or know I was coming.

He placed the laptop to his side and held his hand out towards me. I slipped my hands in as I sat walk close enough to take a seat beside me.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I feel much better. Thank you."

"That's good to hear. I popped a pizza into the oven, it would be done any minute now." Aizen said and I nodded.

"Are you working?" I asked, gesturing to the laptop that was abandoned by his side.

"It's something that can wait." He said and I smiled softly at him. It felt like to Aizen, I was always going to come first and it made me so happy, it made my skin tingle and I . . . I felt like this man was something right out of fairy tales or a Nora Roberts novel, to be very honest.

"How are you?"

"Better now that you're awake. I was getting. . . bored." He was getting worried. I was getting better at reading Aizen and reading between the lines of words he says when he means something else. He was slowly opening up to me but sometimes he'd take a step or two back. Almost like he did not want to scare me. For someone with his size, with his scowl, tattoos, different colored eyes, he was adorable. Like a puppy. But I wouldn't tell him that. Not yet.

He passes me the bottle of Snapple from where he kept it on the floor, by his legs. I took large gulps.

"Thank you." I said once I pulled the bottle away from my mouth.

"Any time, petal."

"I mean it. Thank you for everything. For saving me, for letting me stay here, for taking care of me, for paying for the therapy, for being so good to me." I said, smiling softly and looking right at him. Aizen stared at me for a bit and then in the blink of an eye he was right in front of me, hand cupping my cheek as he kissed me.

My eyes went wide as I felt the soft press of my lips against mine. As he kept moving his lips, I closed my eyes and kissed back. It was a soft, barely there press of our lips. He trailed his tongue against my bottom lip, causing me to gasp.

Aizen pulled away so fast, it must have hurt something. He looked at me and his gaze falls to the ground. "I'm sorry." He said, getting up to his feet. "I'll be . . . excuse me." He quickly left the sitting room, leaving me there, staring at the space he had been. I brought my hands up to my lip, fingers trailing them. The kiss. The kiss was unexpected and came from nowhere. Why?

Why did I want to do it again? 

Why was I still sitting here?

I got to my feet and went after Aizen who had gone into the kitchen. He was in front of the fridge, hand wrapped around the handle, his head resting against the fridge. I walked over to him and placed a hand on his back and when he turns to me, I slipped my hands up his chest and wrapped one arm around his neck and used the other to cup his. I pushed to my tiptoes, looking him in the eye briefly before finally closing my eyes and kissing him. Kissing Aizen. 

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Holy sh*t!!!!!!!!!!!

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