Beyond His Caution (Lost and Retained #1)

Kabanata 34

Kabanata 34

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''What if.. si Atty. Tuesca na lang ang maging abogado mo? I don't think I can do it anymore..'' I hesitantly said to Roman.

Nasa loob kami ng kanyang sasakyan at tinatahak na ang daan pauwi sa amin. We finally filed his candidacy thirty minutes after Toran finished his filing. It was very awkward because I know that he's aware of my presence. Idagdag pa na dumating si Rachel at agad na dumikit sa kanya.

''Is it because of that Tovarres?'' he asked as he turned his head to me.

Nasa kaliwang parte ako ng sasakyan niya habang siya'y nasa tabi ko. Two of his bodyguards are in charge with driving and accompanying us that's why we are in the back seat. 

I shifted my gaze as I suddenly remember how guarded Toran before, too..

Bumuntong hininga ako at tinignan si Roman. He's a nice guy. He's always been there to guide me. Palagi siyang nakagabay sa akin bilang kaibigan.. kahit alam kong may mas malalim pang dahilan doon dahil sa nararamdaman niya.

''Lahat bumalik, Roman. I don't know how to act if the day comes that I'd work with him..'' may kaonting kirot sa boses ko nang sinabi iyon. ''Baka sumubok lang ako ulit.. kung sakali.''

He changed the way he seat and he gave all of his attention to me. Hinawakan niya ang kaliwa kong kamay at malabot na minasahe. Mapungay ang matang nakatingin sa akin. 

Wala akong maramdaman at maisip kung hindi si Toran lang. His soulful eyes and gentle touch. I've been longing for it since then..

''Is it really hard to forget him?'' he swallowed hard while he's gently looking at me. ''I'm here. Give me my chance. I'll prove to you that I won't hurt you, Liana..''

Iniwas ko ang tingin. He's handsome with his dark complexion. He's tall but I'd say that Toran is taller. He's masculine too. His lips are always firm and his eyes are always serious. But aside from these physical aspects, he's really, really kind to me. He is there whenever I encounter a trouble. Whenever there is a provision I can't seem to understand, he's there to patiently guide me.

He'd always give me coffee, too. From time to time. But he never knew how I love tim hortons' coffee. Palibahasa ay si Toran lang naman ang may alam no'n.

I sighed heavily. Kung sana, ganoon lang kadali matuto magmahal, sana ay matagal ko na siyang binigyan ng chansa. But I know better. If I'd give him a chance with my halfhearted decision, I would be unfair to him. Matatalo at masasaktan siya. He deserves better.

''I'm sorry..'' mahinang sambit ko, walang maayos na masabi.

''I'm willing to wait.. no matter how long it would take..'' he gently muttered as he continuously carress my hand. I can sense his desperation.

Tumungo ako dahil alam kong sigurado ako na hindi ko siya mabibigyan ng pagkakataon. I don't want to hurt him. He deserves someone who won't let him beg for a chance. Hindi iyong ganito..

The car stopped. Nilingon ko ang labas at nakitang nasa tapat na kami ng bahay. Maybe it would be better if we'll talk outside. This is too personal and I don't want his bodyguards to hear it. Kaklaruhin ko ang mangyayari kaya't mas mabuti kung kaming dalawa lang.

''Can we talk outside?'' I said.

He nodded. I opened the door at sumunod siya. Nanatili lamang ang dalawa niyang bodyguards sa loob ng kanyang sasakyan at hinayaan na kaming mag-usap dito sa labas.

''Roman..'' I called him. 

Nasa tapat na kami ng gate at papalubog na ang araw. Bukas na ang streetlights at nag silbing ilaw iyon para makita ko ang repleksyon niya.