What if it All Happened Differently?

Hey mum

Lydia looked out the car window and frowned. It had been a few months since her beloved mother had died, and she was still in mourning. Her dad had hired a life coach to help her through her mourning, but Delia was much too cheerful for Lydia's liking and preferred to mourn alone in her bedroom.

However, that particular day, she'd been dragged out of the house by her dad and was being forced to go visit this new house her dad had bought for some new project for a rich idiot called Maxie Dean. And for some dumb reason, Delia was coming with them. Delia had been with Lydia and her father mainly the whole time after her mother's funeral, and although Delia's relationship with the teenager was horrible, her one with Charles was thriving.

Lydia cringed at the loud, high pitched sound that was Delia's laugh and brought out her headphones and phone. Quickly, she put on her favourite playlist and opened up her phone notes. Since her mother's death she'd been filling up a notebook with letters to her dead mum as a way of coping. She wasn't yet sure if it was helping her, but it gave her a way to let her feelings out so she continued doing it.

Hey mum... dead mum,
I need a little help here

That was right, thought Lydia, if there was one thing she needed that moment, it was help from her mum, but of course her mum wasn't there, she was wherever people go when they die.

I'm probably talking to myself here

For sure talking to myself, thought Lydia. She knew her mum was never going to read them, but by writing them she had a small glimmer of hope that they would.

But dead mum I gotta ask
Are you really in the ground?
Because I feel you all around me... are you here?
Dead mum... dead mum

Charles hated that Lydia had taken to calling Emily dead mum, but he didn't say anything, saying her name hurt him too much. As her song finished and she waited for a new one to start, Lydia heard Delia cheerfully chirp "We're almost here!"
Good, thought Lydia, then I can get out of this dumb car and escape Delia and her useless life coaching.

I'm tired of tryna iron out my creases
I'm a bunch of broken pieces... it was you who made me whole

Lydia looked up and to the drivers seat, to see her father's attention focused on the road and Delia. That was all he seemed to care about, he didn't seem to give a damn that his wife had died a month ago and that his daughter was hurting more than it was humanly possible.

Everyday dads staring at me, like all 'hurry up get happy... move along
Forget about your mum'

Yep, that's exactly what her dad thought. Move forward, feel nothing... that was probably his new favourite thing to think.

'Cause daddy's in denial, daddy doesn't wanna feel.
He wants me to smile, and clap like a performing seal
Ignored it for a while, but daddy's lost his mind for real
You won't believe the mess that we've become

Yup, that's what her dad wanted from her, a seal performance

You're my home, my destination, and I'm your clone, your strange creation.
You held my hand and life came easy, now jokes don't land and no one sees me.
Nothing seems to fit
Mama is this it
Are you receiving... I want something to believe in or I'm done

Yup, thought Lydia underlining the word done, that's exactly how she felt.

Take me where my soul can run, or I'll be in my bedroom, wake me when I'm 21.
Daddy's moving forward, daddy didn't lose a mum.

Lydia glanced up at her father and saw that he was turning into the driveway of a two story house. Lydia looked up at the house and rolled her eyes, nothing new. The house next door, an old Victorian style house, looked very interesting. Why couldn't we move there? She thought. I bet the people who live there are interesting, they gotta be with such a cool looking house. Charles parked the car and Lydia rushed to finish her letter.

Mama won't you send a sign?
I'm running out of hope and time
A plague of mice, a lightning strike or drop a nuclear bomb
No more playing daddy's game, I'll go insane if things don't change

Lydia watched as Delia entered the house with her triangle. What was up with that woman? She was crazy

Whatever it takes to make him say your name
Dead mum.

Lydia firmly dotted the end of that sentence and closed her phone off. Then she opened the car door and prepared herself to enter the dreaded house.