That's just life

6.

"It's Audrey," he whispered.

My heart came crashing down, and the whole zoo in my guts died.

That explained how he had looked at her previously this evening.

And those stolen glances were meant for her, not me.

I wanted to get out of the damn car and slam the door in his face. But I knew he needed me, and anyways, what I felt didn't matter anymore. It had never mattered.

So I stayed there, biting my lip so hard that I could taste the blood, but only so that I didn't start crying then and there.

He got a dreamy look in his beautiful grey-streaked blue eyes.

"Man, she's just...... I don't know how she does it. Every time she's around, she makes me feel so special and......wanted."

That was true. Audrey had always had a soft spot for Alex. What if she too......

"And her hazel eyes......they're so beautiful that I could almost drown in them." he whispered in a      voice so soft I'd never heard before.

Now I was starting to feel sick.

But, again, I stayed there.

"What do I do, Sasha?" he asked me.

Thank god, I'd thought he'd forgotten I was there.

"Well, have you thought it through?" I couldn't keep the hope out of my voice.

Thankfully, he didn't notice it.

"Yeah. I've thought it through," he replied.

"Do you want me to ask her how she feels?" I ask, 'coz hey, of course I'd be happy if my 2 best friends got together.

His eyes widened, "You'd do that for me?"

I roll my eyes dramatically, currently pushing my emotions aside.

He grinned a bit, the smile clearing his eyes of the little fog.

No matter what, seeing him smile had always made me happy. Even now.

His smile broke me now.

Tears started to line my eyes, but I didn't want to cry in front of him. Not when I couldn't tell him why.

I turned my face away and said, "Well I should get going, mum is gonna start worrying about me now,".

He nods, and I start to get out of the car, when he stops me.

"Hey  Sasha, I don't know what I'd do without you", he says with a smile that makes me wanna cry my eyes out.

I return the smile, feeling hollow now.

I resist the urge to slam the door so hard that it breaks.

He waved goodbye to me and drove away.

Just like that.

I stomped my way to my house, wiping away angry tears.

I mean, what the hell! This wasn't FAIR!

But hey, not everything was fair.....

I open the door quietly with my key, not in the mood to face my mum, or dad.

I rush to my room, and put on my pjs.

I drop on my bed, and bury my face in a pillow.

I think about how I've been there for him every single time.

But then the look on his face while he was looking at Audrey in the evening keeps haunting me.

I couldn't keep him happy. I wasn't the one he wanted. I was-

My bedroom door opened.

Claire walked in, pale and shaking and sweating.

Claire had nightmares all the time.

She walked into my bed and snuggled her warm body close to me, wrapping her tiny arms around my waist.

I stroked her chocolate brown hair till I felt her stop shaking and her breathing became even again.

Claire fell asleep after a few minutes, and instead of carrying her back to her room, I let her sleep on my bed.

I got up and walked to the window and sat there.

I pulled out my phone and checked my messages.

One was from Trish, 'Hey, Sash u in for sleepover at mine this Wed.?'

Wednesday? Wasn't that when Alex and I were supposed to hang out? 

But now, all I wanted was to stay as far away from him as possible.

So I texted back, 'YUPP! I'll be over after school!'

It was almost fall, and the leaves of trees were starting to turn yellow.

I loved fall more than any other time. That time was so mysterious, almost as if nature was hiding some secret we had no chance of knowing about. Everything was dying but still it was so beautiful.

Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face.

It'd always be him. 

No matter what.

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