That's just life

30.

Sasha's P. O. V.

(1 day after the fight)

Ava still wasn't talking to us. Any of us.

It's been a day and yet her words rang through me.

'It feels like I'm losing my best friend before she's actually gone.'

I didn't see her that day. I wanted to. I wanted to apologise to her. Say that she was right. 

And that I couldn't afford to waste any more time with her.

But she kept avoiding us.

Why, Ava? Why are you making this harder than it already is? 

* * *

*Present*

I saw white.

White all around.

This felt familiar......

Voices. Outside, whispering. 

I could make out figures through the semi-transparent glass.

I felt a throbbing in my chest.

I closed my eyes.

Sleep, restless, unforgiving, took over.

Clouded, hazy images filled my dreams.

I had no idea how much time had passed. 

After what felt like an hour or so, I felt something shaking gripping my hand. 

I couldn't open my eyes or make out any of my surroundings.

As I listened harder, I could make out....gasps. Sobs. Coming from something....someone sitting close to me.

I still couldn't open my eyes. My eyelids felt heavy.

"Sasha, I-I'm so sorry, I never meant any of that I-gosh it's all my fault-"

More sobs. Violent ones.

Ava. It was Ava.

She had come. Just her.

My best friend.

Something so violent in me thrashed. Thrashed and shook.

I wanted to comfort her, tell her it was okay and that she didn't have to blame her.

My hand moved and my eyes shot open.

I could see Ava, her hair messy and tied up carelessly. 

What killed me more was how she was sitting.

On her knees, right beside my bed, her shoulders hunched up and shaking violently. Her hands gripping mine, her face pale and moist from the tears. Her eyes were clenched shut, like she was holding back from pulling out her own hair.

Her nails were digging into my palms.

She didn't know I was awake.

I wrapped my palms around her wrist.

She stopped shaking. Her head rose to level with mine as her sea blue eyes made contact with my green ones.

I saw it for the first time. The hollowness, the emptiness, the absolute fear of her entire world crashing down.

A tear slipped past my lids.

"Please don't. Don't, Ava. For me. Please." I whispered.

"I need you, Sash. You don't know how much. I need you to be there for me. At the bad times, the good times, all of it. I need you to make me smile. Make me cry. Make me feel so damn special. Make my day so much better with a really bad joke. Be my support. I need you so much Sasha. Please don't leave me. Please. And I'm sorry for the other day. I was so damn angry and sad and confused...I took it out on you and it's been killing me ever since. And now I find out you're gonna have to get surgery which you might not make through....I'm so sorry it's all my fault-"