That's just life

The end (2)

The three women had been sitting at the farthest booth, pastel shades around them, the glow of the setting sun lighting up their untouched glasses before them and their eyes glistening from unshed tears.

Trish was the first to speak.

She raised her glass with trembling hands, voice hoarse and shaky. "Here's to her. Sasha Conrad. An amazing person, friend, daughter and sister.......and a total bitch."

Ava and Audrey managed to chuckle at that and raise their glasses.

"To Sasha Conrad."

And they drank.

A single tear sped down Audrey's honey skin as she closed her eyes shut. Trish looked away at that and Ava just pat her on her shoulder

"I think she'd be proud of us," Audrey choked out. "She wanted us to-" her breath hitched.

"We know," Ava whispered. "We know."

Silence enveloped once again as each tried to gather their thoughts.

It was their best friend's birthday, and they'd thought that maybe,

just maybe,

she wouldn't have wanted to be alone. And so they'd met.

"I-I wanna do something. If there ever was the slightest chance that she'd be watching us, it's-it's today. So.... why not say a few words to her? Something we'd like to say to her?" Audrey said. "I'll go first."

The others nodded.

Rey drew a breath and begun.

"Sash, I miss you. A lot. I hope you're in a better place right now but...try not to have too much fun." She laughed a bit, not minding the tears that now broke free from all leashes. "I'm so damn proud of you, Sasha. I know you fought with everything in you to live, to breathe up until the very end. And.... I hope you're proud of me. I stayed strong. Just like you told me to. There were moments I thought I couldn't anymore, but...I guess it felt like the right thing to do. I was strong. For them. For you. For....me. and I'm grateful for every single moment I spent with you. Thank you for everything. Someday, maybe in some other lifetime, I'll find you, and we'll be together again. Happy birthday."

And she broke down. Tears no more felt foreign. They'd become a part of her. A part of all of them.

And they'd let it happen.

Trish began next.

"Sasha Conrad.... I couldn't have asked for a better friend, soulmate, sister, whatever. But now.... you're gone. It's been 15 years and I'm still trying to come to terms with that. But.... just know that you were never alone. You still aren't. There will always be people who love you, cherish you and would be more than willing to give up everything if just to see you and hold you once more, one last time. At least.... I know I would. But anyways...I don't wanna make you feel too guilty or anything so I'll stop here. I love you. We all do. Up until the very end. Happy birthday."

She whispered out the last part but the others heard her just fine.

Trish and Audrey looked at Ava.

She spoke, and yet, the words the words that left her seemed so far away, so distant, blurred together.

"I-I miss her, I guess. There's not much to say honestly. I mean-she was my best friend, wasn't she?" she let out a humorless laugh, dead and blank. "I sure hope you're in a better place now, Sash. You deserve it. More than anyone else in the world."

That was it.

That was all she said.

Audrey and Trish understood.

Out of them all, Ava was the one who'd taken the maximum brunt of the hit.

And yet, here she was today, sitting before them, a smiling demeanor of masks and tears not shed and words left unsaid, apologies left unspoken.

Trish checked her watch. "I should get going.... I promised Cole I'd be home soon and we'd take the kids out for dinner.

A few hugs and brief goodbyes later, Trish headed for the door, leaving behind her best friends, as memories brushed past and threatened to unbuckle her belt of safety, plunging her into the dark, bottomless pit, with just the thought of her family waiting for her at home keeping her sane.

Ava and Rey, left alone, didn't have much to say. They just sat there, in silence, their presence enough to convey unspoken words and much needed comfort.

The evening slowly melted into the night.

Audrey finally got up, put on her coat and kissed Ava on her cheek, "She'd be proud of you, Ava. And she left.

Left to her own thoughts, Ava finally gave her message to Sasha, one she couldn't in front of Rey and Trish.

Sasha,

I made it. I got into the best college in the States and did what I love to do. I want you to be proud of me. After all that, I managed to build a pretty good life for myself.

But there were nights my mind seemed too small, too fragile, to hold my thoughts in. those nights, you helped me. Even when you weren't there, you helped me. Even when you weren't there, you were. Each of those nights, I'd look up at the sky, and somehow, the stars would seem to glow brighter, burn more, for us. For you.

And I'd imagine you watching me, smiling at me, and just like that, everything would be fine. I travelled the entire world, and yet, the stars always kept me company. They were always there. In a way, you were always there. And I know you are. I know you're watching over me.

How else can I explain the sudden cool breezes on the hottest of summer days, breeze that smells like lavender and dries up my tears?

How come I smell lavender each year without fail on my birthday?

How come I smell lavender whenever I'm about to have a panic attack?

How come......

How come I smelt lavender right now when Trish and Rey were speaking?

It's you, isn't it?

You loved that scent. You said it calmed you down, supported you, soothed you.

I know you're there, Sash. Just know.... just know that I'm there too.

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T H E    E N D