That's just life

20.

Sasha's P. O. V.

The dance was nearing, and so was my surgery.

Things were getting fretted at home. Mum and dad and Claire had.....changed. They were all about fake smiles and high pitch voices and glassy eyes.

The next morning, I went down for breakfast, and saw mum in the kitchen, just scrubbing and scrubbing at a single plate. I could see that it was.....clean, and yet, mum just went on scrubbing. If she rubbed any more, the plate'd just be spoiled.

What shook me more was the look on her face. Pale. Staring. Blank.

Something in me cracked.

Tears threatening, I went to her, shaking a bit.

I put my hand on her shoulder, but.....she just continued.

I tightened my grip, and squeezed her shoulder.

"Breakfast is ready, honey", she said, her voice distant, and not even looking at me.

Now I was scared.

She just scrubbed.

Fear like I'd never known took over, and not knowing what else to do, I grabbed her shoulders and shook her. Hard.

After a second or two, her head snapped towards me, her eyes now rid of the mist.

She looked at me like she'd just realised I was there. Like she'd just snapped out of some daydream. 

In a second, her expression changed. Her brows furrowed, those beautiful grey eyes crinkled with something so much deeper than pain and sorrow, something close to plain, unhidden fear.

The next moment, the reason of it all hit me like a wave that had been held back for a long time and then allowed to flow down a slope.

Me.

I was the reason mum had broken. Broken like a fragile glass. My mum, who'd been one of the strongest people I knew. Who'd always been my pillar, strong and sturdy.

She'd just......crumbled.

I dared to glance at her again, and in her eyes I saw......nothing.

Her eyes were hollow. 

And I was the reason......

I started shaking. Shaking beyond control.....

I did the only thing I could have done at that time.

I hugged her. Hard.

I don't know why, but it was as if something in me wanted to stop her from crumbling, and as if hugging could solve it......

She just patted my back, and when I pulled apart, she gave me a sad smile. "Hurry up, Sasha you'll be late for school."

I nodded, and went for my breakfast waiting for me at the table.

                                        *  *  *

Alex's P. O. V.

She wanted me to stay away from her. But truth be told, I don't know how I can do that. Ever.

Every single moment, I found myself thinking about her, about her eyes, her soft hands, her lips, Sasha herself.

Every single moment I missed her. I missed her near me, I issued her sarcasm, her ability to joke even in dark times, but there was another memory hovering around me. The one where she told me about her upcoming surgery, and how she might not....

The way she'd told me, it broke me more. She'd said it like she'd already decided that she'd not make it, and I'd never seen her like this. Broken. Shattered. 

Lost.

I know I told her I'd be everything she wanted me to be, but I wanted the exact opposite.

I wanted to be the person who held her hands, whom she'd meet after a long day, I wanted be the one to kiss her and hold her and never let her go.

I wanted to be her forever.

And that's when it hit me.

I loved her. A LOT. LOT MORE THAN WHAT WAS SAFE, LOT MORE THAN SHOULD BE ALLOWED.

I wanted to spend each and every moment with her. I didn't care what she said. 

So I texted her the next morning, 'I'll pick u up for school?'

A minute later, my phone chimed with her reply.

'Ummm....dad's already gonna drop me off.....maybe next time?'

Something in me broke when I realised what she was doing.

She was keeping herself away from me......she didn't wanna hurt anyone.

'Yeah sure....' I texted back.

I dropped my phone on the table, and lay down on the bed, closing my eyes.

This wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair. 

I couldn't imagine what she was going through right now.

And her family.

Claire loved her. A lot.

And her parents............I couldn't even get my head wrapped around it.

And I'd known Sasha for a long time now.

I knew what she'd do next.

She was going to shut herself off. Completely.

And with that thought, out of nowhere, boiling, white hot anger hit me, and I drowned within that.

                                      *  *  *  

A/N-

Hi y'all....sorry for such a late update, but I've been rather busy with other stuff....

I'm not gonna say anything bout this part, 'coz it's jus plain SAD....

STAY TUNED!!!