That's just life

22.

Sasha's P. O. V.

It was the night before Homecoming, and, trust me, I really needed my beauty sleep.

However, as fate would have it, I couldn't sleep.

I just couldn't.

My talk with Alex earlier this evening kept playing and replaying, almost as if someone had put it on loop mode.

And for some reason, there was this....really.....useless feeling in me, like I was just....not needed. And I know that I'm not supposed to feel that way, but.....I just couldn't help it. I felt that as soon as it was all over(in case I, you know, didn't make it ), no one would really care.....I mean, sure, people would cry for a few days, week, maybe months, but then they would....forget.

Of course, I don't mean my parents or my friends, I mean the others.

 But then I guess I haven't really given them a reason to remember me.....

And that's when the idea struck.

The totally-foolish-but-still-worth-a-try-idea.

Maybe, just maybe, I should Give them a reason to remember me. If not remember, then just.......try to do something worthwhile with the precious time I had left, probably.

So, not minding that I was in my pyjamas, or that my eyes were heavy as hell, or that it was 1:35 a.m., I went to my laptop, made myself a cup of decaf (oh, the cliche), and sat to work.

Alex's P. O. V.

 I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow that night (yeah, that surprised me too).

But then...........as correctly said, 'All good things must come to an end'.

All in all, I woke up.

Yes, folks. As you'd have noticed by now, I absolutely LOVE TO RAMBLE. IN A REAL SARCASTIC WAY.

Ughhhhhhh anyways.

In order to bribe myself to go to sleep, I strode out into the balcony. That surprisingly works every single time.

The ink black blue of the sky was gently specked with soft specks of stars looking just......beautiful. Also, the moon was nowhere to be seen.

I always favoured the stars over thr moon. I mean, it just felt like the moon was always stealing away  the stars' beauty, and while it did absolutely nothing. I mean....the stars actually burnt themselves to the core, and still managed to shine, while what did the moon do? REFLECTS LIGHT THAT DOESN'T EVEN BELONG TO ITSELF.

I'm rambling again, I see.

Just then, a typical start-of-winter, rare, chilled wind swept past, and I shuddered a bit.

For no apparent reason, it reminded me of her. The way her sea-green eyes lit up with mischief, how her little nose crinkled whenever she laughed freely.....

All those happy expressions.....they'd just left her. These past few weeks, I hadn't glimpsed a single true smile.... and, again, as always, I'd not be able to do anything about it.

I hated what I was doing to myself; I thought about her like some lovesick puppy even though I knew that nothing was gonna happen between us. Ever.

I sighed.

Tomorrow was Homecoming.......I honestly didn't know what  to think, what to expect.......I knew nothing.

I just hoped she wouldn't shut herself off to me.... to anyone.

I mean if not me, then I wanted her to at least talk to someone.....

I walked off the balcony to the kitchen to get something to eat, figuring that it was the only way I'd actually get some sleep.

I wasn't even sure that what we had, or rather, what I had for her was love. Stuff just didn't add up. If it really was love, was it supposed to be so.....hard?

The thing between us was complicated and messed up at so many levels, really. 

And it drove me really, really crazy.

I mean I've never been so hung up on a girl before. I've never lost my sleep over that. 

Or, maybe, I WAS JUST PLAIN WRONG AND STUPID.

 Yeah. That seems legit. I mean I've seen Cole and Trish, and they look so much happier. 

And that's when I realised, that it was enough. I was done being unfair to myself and to her. I was done being this crazy doe-eyed guy chasing a girl.....

And I know that the dance was coming up, but....I'd tell her. Once and for all. I wasn't expecting the same feelings, I wasn't expecting her to 'ride off into the sunset with me'....

I mean she is my best friend, for gods sake.

Finally, with that thought, I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

                                                                    *  *  *

A/N-

There you go.....

TOODLES!!! ENJOYYYYY

(And yes, this is going somewhere, I promise.)