That's just life

31.

"Alex I-"

He shook his head. "You don't have to say it, Sash. I love you and I always will. And please stop talking like this is it. You could make it just as much, can't you?" He wrapped his arms around me, hands stroking my hair. 

I melted into his touch. 

He was right. I had to hope. 

If there was one thing I had left, it was hope. 

Hope that I'd live. That I'd get to see snowflakes again. That I'd smell lilies again. 

That he'd hold me again. 

I smiled, tears already cascading down my face, but this time they were.....happy ones.

"Just know this, Alex. Whatever time we had, and we might have, I've relished all of it. It's been one of the best moments in my life. I hope you know that."

He smiled. "I do, actually."

"And.....can you tak care of Claire for me? She's....I bet she's really uneasy right now. Please."

He nods. 

"Can we stay this way please? Some more?"

"Sure, princess. Anything."

He sat on the bed and I sat on his lap, wrapping my arms around him.

I smiled a little. "Princess, huh?"

I felt his chuckle.

Alex's P. O. V.

I wanted to be strong for her. Feeling her arms around me, it made me want to.....never let go. I couldn't. I just couldn't. 

Everything I'd felt, everything she'd given me.....

I couldn't just lose it.

But seeing her like this, the thought of her being afraid, I couldn't let that happen. 

So I push it down in me. 

And instead, I hoped.

I knew that things could turn out just as good. There was a chance that she'd survive and she'd be in my arms once again. 

I chose that side. 

And I could feel that she did too.

"Sash? Princ-"

She fell asleep.

"Wake up, Sash. Your family needs to see you."

She groaned. "But you are my family."

I almost choked, almost snapped at that, but I held myself in.

"Although I appreciate the thought, I don't think your parents would be too happy if you paid this much attention to your boyfriend", I chuckled. 

She let out a laugh, but quited down soo. "So this is goodbye?"

I saw tears threaten once again in her green eyes. 

I smiled as I stroked her cheek. "Think of this as a 'see you soon'." 

I was starting to lose it. I clenched my hands into fists.

Hold it in.

She looked down, tears spilling again. "Please stay."

A little more. Just a little.

I shook my head. "Your parents need you, Sash. Claire needs you."

Just a bit more.

"But I need you, Alex."

I leant down, kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you. So much. Never forget that."

She seemed to quiet down at that. 

She nodded, wiping her eyes with her sleeves. "I love you too. Always."

Little more....

I turned around, my knuckles white and my nails digging into my palms.

With feet that didn't feel like mine, I walked back to the door. 

As my palms landed on the doorknob, cold metal cooling my burning skin, I heard a sob. A violent one.

But I didn't turn back.

I walked out of that room, the light from outside blinding me.

I hope she didn't see my tears.

Sasha's P. O. V.

As soon as he left, 5 seconds later, the door swung open again, and my heart wrenched.

Mum, dad and Claire. 

Mum was a sobbing mess, so was Claire. 

Dad's eyes were puffy too, but he didn't let it show. 

For me.

"Hey, Sash. How are you feeling?" Mum asked, stroking me hair.

I melt into the feeling. So familiar, so comforting, so much like....home.

Claire wrapped her arms around my waist, snuggling in into my side and I trace circles on her back. 

"Sasha, no matter what happens, just remember, we love you, and we always have since the day you were born and I held you for the first time. We always did when you cried on your first day of school, clinging to our hands. We did when you won that race. We did when you got your first trophy. And we are so proud of you. For everything. You've made us so proud. We feel like the luckiest parents in this world. And I've got no doubt that we are. We love you so much. Never forget that there will always be people who love you for you," dad said.

I sobbed into his arms while Claire sobbed into mine. 

I hugged mum and dad while Claire cling to my waist. 

"We believe in you, Sash. We know that you can do this. You can do this. We know how strong you are." Mum smiled. 

"Thanks mum."

Just as mum and did were about to  leave after 15 minutes, I stopped Claire. 

I stroked her soft hair. "Take care of them for me okay? You're the strongest person I know. And the best younger sister ever. A little bratty, but the best." 

She was crying but she smiled and said, "I love you."

"I love you too."

And they left.

I did it k so why this was happening, but I wasn't panicking so much about this anymore. 

I could live. I had the most loving, the most caring people by my side and their love was all I needed.

First I'd  been feeling rather dreadful, but now......now, I couldn't help but feel a light inside me. 

I light that refused to go out, to extinguish.

I realised what it was just when the doctors came in and pulled out my stretcher into the operation theatre and I smiled at Alex.

It was hope.