Courting a Prince: Book 1 (Complete)

ch. 34: So close, yet so far

It's a quiet day on the ship. We're still heading north, and I still plan on following Zuko until I sort out my feelings. I mean, he's in his feelings right now, but that's not my problem. I can only stay at his side while he sulks with his back to the iron wall of the ship.

Honestly, he looks his age. A moody teenager just trying to figure shit out. That's all he can really do anyway. There are times when he talks to me about the stuff on his mind. He confides in me, and I confide in him too.

"...Anyway, that's it. Ugh, it's so frustrating." He groaned, turning to look at me, since I was laying my head in his lap.

"Yeah. If I thought you wouldn't have been safe, I wouldn't have left you, ya'know?" I tried to speak in a soft tone as to not get him any more agitated.

"Yeah, I know. You've always been like that haven't you. Pretending to be my guard-"

I cut him off, "I'm not pretending to be anything, Zu. I'm your friend. Your best friend. And you're the person closest to my heart, so don't say that shit, okay?"

Zuko sighs while picking up some strands of my hair, "....You don't look like a warrior, but you have the spirit of one. Now that I think about it, I've never really seen you without that, what did you call it... Hoodie?"

I laugh a little and hold up my one good arm, then roll my sleeve down to show my small, but muscular arm. It's so pretty, just like the rest of me!

"I just really like my hoodie, I'm not trying to hide....anything...." I lied through my teeth and fixed my sleeve.

Zuko nods and takes my rough hand in his. By now, we've both been using swords for years so our hands are very rough and in desperate need of moisturizer. I kind of like his hands, they make me feel safe. We used to hold hands a lot. I remember they used to be as soft as mine work until I became a servant of the fire nation.

Back then, he needed to be protected. I wanted nothing to do with him, but his mother was so kind to me... She was the kindest person I've met in this world and she wanted me to be Zuko's friend and a good influence. I did my best, but maybe my best wasn't enough. I admit, we did grow attached to each other, so much so that we caught the notice of the Fire Lord...and had to be separated.

Azula... That witch of a girl.. that psychotic bitch pulled us apart, but we still ended up meeting a lot in secret. In a way we were brought together by the fact that we were forced apart. But even if we hadn't been pulled apart, I'm certain we would've only grown closer, as I would still be Zuko's only true friend.

"May... If you crave freedom so much, why don't you ever just leave. If you stay here, you're under the watch of the fire nation."

"Well, it's not really like that. You promised me my freedom. You don't want to hold me captive, or, ya'know, kill me. Or hurt me at all, really. That and I just don't have anything else to do. I could've stayed in the southern water tribe, but you wrecked it."

Zuko rubbed the back of his neck. "My bad."

I giggle, "Yeah, your bad. Anyway, I like traveling with you and Uncle. It's nice... And I feel safe because I have you." I smiled at him and sat up. When I did, I noticed just how close we were to each other. No one could hope to get as close to him as I am.

Our noses touched and I dared not to try and meet his gaze. I feel my heart racing in my chest and remember the day this first happened to me. The day I saw Zuko fighting that Commander.

Just the two of us in this room, so close our lips could touch at any second, yet we're both frozen out of fear of the unknown.

Suddenly, someone slowly opened the door and I jumped back out of embarrassment. Zuko got up and we saw our Uncle at the door with a regretful look on his face, which told me something was wrong. I shove my hair into my hoodie and pull it up to hide myself and move to the corner.

Zuko saw me and moved to stand in front of me, further hiding me from the man that was about to enter the room.

Commander, I mean Admiral whatshisname. Seriously, I can never remember. He looks like a ape, like all the older people in the fire nation. Seriously, they look ridiculous.

"I'm taking your crew." The man said, much to Zuko's surprise, but after that, I couldn't hear anything but my own heart beat as I stared at the man behind the one causing Zuko grief.

Hal. Is. Here.

I'm certain Zuko to too distracted to notice that I had broken out into a cold sweat. My mouth got dry and I feel as if I can't breath. Even though Zuko was panicking in front of me, I couldn't move an inch. It wasn't until the two left that I was freed from my internal prison in the form of falling to the floor and gasping for air.

"May! Are you alright!?" Iroh ran to my side, rubbing my back. "You're so pale... Let's get you in bed."

Iroh waisted no time in putting me in Zuko's bed, after that, I only saw darkness.

My arm was aching so bad I could scream.

Hal.. dammit... Why this? Why now?