𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 {𝐿.𝑆.}

︎𝟙𝟘 ~ 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴

I've been laying in bed all day. Mum has tried to get me out of bed but didn't succeed yet and I'm just kind of drowning in my own misery.

I don't really mind tho. It's just the old well known crying myself to sleep. Waking up and crying all over again. Eyes puffy and painful from the crying and the only reason for it all is those voices in my head telling me I'm a horrible person for being able to love both men and woman.

Well that sounded intelligent. Comes down to hearing people yell "fag", "disgusting queer" and other things like "cocksucker". Or not being able to choose between gay or straight. That's maybe the worst. Because mostly gay people told me that when they found out I liked girls too.

It just keeps on repeating itself non-stop and after a while it gets convincing and starts eating away your confidence and self esteem. I know I need to stop laying in bed and need to get over it. I need to put my mind to other shit but I don't feel like doing anything.

"He's in his room. He doesn't want to get out of bed." I hear my mum say from downstairs.

I kinda wonder who it could be but I only know one person that even knows where I live.

"Get that lazy ass of yours out of bed." Louis suddenly pulled my blankets away and quickly threw them back.

"Goodmorning Lou." I said with a sleepy voice smirking at him. "Did you like what you saw?"

"How can I know you're laying goddamn naked in your bed." He said back with his cheeks red of embarrassment.

"You didn't answer my question so I take that as a yes." I smiled at him and he shook his head.

"Just get- get dressed I'll be waiting downstairs." He said while leaving the room.

I quickly put on some boxers and grey sweatpants before heading downstairs.

Louis stared for a good ten seconds at my body. I guess he never saw my tattoos or anything. But seeing his cheeks turn red again when he saw me smirk was worth the little wait.

"So what are you doing here Tomlinson?" I asked leaning against the doorframe.

"I- uhm I came to see how you were doing and. Uhm. I thought maybe we could... hang out?" He had trouble making his sentence and it was adorable seeing him stutter like that.

"We can go upstairs." I looked over at my mum who was eyeing me again. She is really convinced that Louis has a thing for me and that I have feelings for him too. I tried to get it out of her head but she's stubborn like me. She just doesn't give up.

Louis nodded in response and followed me upstairs.

"I wanted to apologize about last night again. I shouldn't have jumped at you like that. I could've known she didn't tell the full story and-"

"It's okay Louis. I'm not mad at you. It's her I'm mad at. Not you Lou." I tried to smile but couldn't really.

"She really hurt you didn't she?" He looked down and than back into my eyes. His beautiful gaze digging in my soul.

"She just suddenly came at me. It started okay but soon enough she asked me if I was gay too. She called me a fag and didn't believe me when I said I wasn't gay. Because 'only gay people support gay people' so I had to be a fag. That's when I lost it and slapped her. I just hate that word and-"

"I get it. You had a reason. You don't have to apologize to me Hazz. I knew she had it coming some day." I noticed how he didn't ask about why I hated the word or anything.

He never seems to ask to many questions. It's really nice to have someone who just listens sometimes. Maybe that's what I like about him so much. He cares but doesn't seem nosy or anything like that.