𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 {𝐿.𝑆.}

︎ 𝟙𝟚 ~ 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸

~Louis POV~

Harry's been acting a little different lately. He seems to be more shy sometimes and isn't really giving his strong opinions all the time anymore. I don't really know what it is but it's just a little weird to me.

He also agrees with me more often and not that I'm complaining it's just- It's becoming remarkable.

I was just sitting in the cafeteria when Harry came walking in. He had a frown on his face until he saw me. I waved at him and the frown just disappeared.

He's cute when he's smiling like that. He can be a real ray of sunlight sometimes. But than he can be the pure evil of a thunderstorm as well. But as long as you're nice to him he's nice to you too most of the time. Except when you're name is Eleanor. Than he hates you and everything you say will make him want to strangle you.

"Hi Lou!" His voice was happy too and it just warms my heart hearing that sweet voice of his. He just has a certain sound to it that lowkey makes my mouth water.

"Hi Hazz. How've you been?"

"Good. Just a little tired." Hmm how could that be? Maybe because you played guitar until 3am last night?

I've been listening to him everyday for the past few weeks. Or months. I don't know how long.

I just love hearing him sing and play. He just does it with so much feeling and it actually hits deep most of the time. Like he actually means the lyrics... I have a theory that he only plays what he means.

I've been noticing a little pattern. I'm not sure if I'm right. But everything seems to line up with things that happened that day. And a few days ago, right after we had spend the night together he uhm. He sang Is This Love...

I don't know who he was thinking about but it didn't feel like just a random song to him. It was like it had a meaning. And maybe I just want it to and I'm looking too deep into this. But it felt like it was about me. About him feeling the same about me as I do about him.

But than again. I'm probably just overthinking and making it way bigger than it is. Maybe it just reminds him of something close to him and is that why he sounded a little emotional. Or he wasn't emotional at all and I just heard it wrong. I don't know.

I just wish I could tell him how I felt. But he's kinda really straight. I remember the way he danced with that girl in the club. He likes women that's for sure.

And why would he even want me? He can easily get anyone. Well anyone but Will. But he doesn't want her. I think. I'm still not sure about that. He seems to flirt with her but than again. Harry's a flirt and likes to joke around. He's probably not even serious about all of that and just trying to annoy Willow. In which he's succeeding.

I would love to be her sometimes. Have him flirt with me like that. I wouldn't mind at all. I'd love to tease him back.

But than again. I'm just a closeted gay guy with a girlfriend. Why would any guy try to get with me. I kinda already am in a relationship and that's also what's partly stopping me from coming out and finding a guy.

I don't know how I ended up here but I'm basically dating the most toxic homophobic person in the entire school. Harry's right about her. She definitely is a horrible person and I'm never really mad at him when he gets back at her for being homophobic.

He's right. It's just that I need her as my beard. I need her to cover up for me. So I act like I'm on her side even if I hate it. I hate myself for it. But I don't want to come out and I can't handle the bullying again.