The Jonas family is very tight-knit, but no one gets along better than twin brother and sister Joe and Brexley. They've been inseparable for their entire lives, and even during the Jonas Brothers years, when Joe was off touring with Nick and Kevin...
It's been a day already, and I've had no contact with Joe. This is the longest we've gone without speaking to each other for our entire lives, and I still can't get it out of my head that this is my fault. And though I've talked to Kevin and Nick since everything went down yesterday, they don't exactly fill the gaping hole in my heart. That's reserved for my twin brother. Yesterday, when Joe left, I didn't really make an effort to reach out to him because I knew he needed time to cool off. However, I can't keep myself from sending a few texts today. I need to talk to him. I have to hear from him, know he's okay, understand that our bond as siblings can't really be broken in one argument. Wishful thinking? Maybe. But I need to do this anyway.
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I've reached out to him all day, trying to get him to text me back. I know he's seeing this; I know he's ignoring me. He clearly isn't interested in talking to me today, and I understand that I really hurt him with the way I handled the whole Nick situation, but I'm not sure what else I can do except say I'm sorry. It's not as if I can go back in time and change anything, and I can only hope he misses me as much as I miss him. But maybe he doesn't. Maybe he hates me so much, despises me to a level where he doesn't care if he ever sees me again. And then I get a notification from Instagram; Joe's posted a photo. Immediately, I click onto the app to look at it.
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So he's ignoring me for sure then. Now there's real proof, and I don't know if I'm more angry at him or heartbroken that he's this furious with me. Actually, I don't even care that he's furious, because he has a right to be. What I did was awful, springing Nick on him like that, and I realize it. I'm just heartbroken that he's not willing to talk it out with me, can't bring himself to even text me back. He really hates me. Completely and totally hates me. But I have to keep pushing the issue for my own mental health. I have no choice. I need him in my life forever. So, gritting my teeth, I dial his number and pray he'll answer me finally.
The call goes straight to voicemail, and I know it's not because Joe has his phone off. He just posted on Instagram, for crying out loud! I know it's because he declined the call as soon as he heard my ringtone, but if he thinks I'm not going to leave a voicemail, he's very mistaken. I can feel hot tears burning in my eyes as soon as I hear his voice in the recording, but I clear my throat and prepare to lay it all out there for him anyway.
"Hey, Joe. Listen, I know you've been getting my texts, but I'll tell you I'm sorry again anyway. I miss you so much, even though it's only been one day, and the apartment feels super empty and quiet without you here. Remember when we first bought this place together? How excited we were that we would still live together, even though we moved out of Mom and Dad's house? We just couldn't accept the fact that we wouldn't see each other all the time every day, to be wild and crazy siblings like we had been our whole lives, so we did something about it. And then our first night, when we tried to cook some pasta and almost started the place on fire. We hadn't even been there 24 hours yet, and we were already causing chaos! Then, we spent so much time together as I helped you work on creating Fastlife, which really launched your solo career. I've heard those songs too many times to count, yet I never get tired of listening to them because we wrote them together. We used that record to sum up our lives since leaving our California house, and I know it'll never get old."
"When I saw you perform in Times Square on New Years Eve, I didn't think I could be any prouder of you. I couldn't believe that my brother, my twin brother, was up there bringing down the house on the biggest night of the year. And even though I know you were freezing, you were great. There wasn't a person who didn't enjoy that performance. But then there was the Letterman show, and holy shit, I almost cried watching that. I was just so happy that everything was working out for you on your own, that you could be just as successful without Nick and Kevin as you were with them. Everyone at that show loved you, and only you, and I was so happy you were getting the recognition you deserved. I was so fucking proud of you for making your own way in the music industry, without anyone else, for the first time in your life."
"Remember our first night in LA, when we were blasting music in our room and Kevin got all pissed off because it was too loud? That was hilarious. Just like old times, when we actually lived at home. And then the celebrity dance? I had so much fun dancing and acting like a goofball with you, Kevin, Nick, Sophie, everybody. And then we carried that energy into the rest of the trip, playing Just Dance, getting ice cream, watching movies, visiting the Hollywood sign, and wrapping it up with Venice Beach. That was quite possibly the most fun I've ever had in Los Angeles, ever. I'm not even over exaggerating. The point is, Joe-" I say, but I'm cut off. I guess my recording has reached the maximum time limit.
I didn't even realize I was crying until now, but the tears are streaming freely down my face and into my lap. We've been through so much together, had so many good times, but now that's probably all over. He won't answer my texts, won't answer his phone when I call, and he'll probably delete my message without even listening to it. Our relationship is ruined and it's completely and totally because of me. How am I supposed to live with that for the rest of my life?
