Sister to Jonas

Not Anymore

Joe's POV

Ever since I ditched Brexley at the apartment, I've wanted to go back and apologize for acting so rashly. Yes, I'm still totally pissed off about her surprising me with Nick, but I've never lived a day without her and I really don't want to lose the one person I've always been closest to. And let me just tell you, I don't even know how many times I've listened to the voicemail she left me three weeks ago. I wish it didn't cut off, so I knew what she was going to tell me at the end, but I wouldn't trade the countless memories she reminisced about for anything. The only problem is, listening to all of that has made me miss Brex more, but now it's too late for me to go back. She definitely hates my guts by now, and I really don't want to make things any worse than they already are. Now, I just have to deal with the consequence of my own stupid actions.

Through all of this, the only person I've really been talking to is Sophie. Sure, Kevin has reached out to me, and I've texted him a little bit, but he's not too thrilled with me right now either because of the way I left things with my sister. Let's just say the conversations between my older brother and I haven't been great, and rebuilding our relationship isn't going well at all. Nick's a whole other story; I still refuse to talk to him, and I think he's finally figured that out. He's stopped trying to contact me, at least not as much as before. Speaking of Sophie, here she is texting me now.

"Hey, Joe. So what's new with the whole situation? Any new communication from Brexley?" Sophie asks as soon as she picks up.

"No. I'm pretty sure she despises me now," I say quietly.

"She's probably just given up, considering you never answer the phone or text her back."

"I know. And I should've texted her back the first day, or at least answered the call, but I can't now. It's too late. She cut ties with me already, I can feel it, and now I'm going to have to do the same with her." It sucks to say this. It really does. After three weeks, it's all starting to sink in that I may never talk to my best friend again, and a big part of it is my fault.

"You guys are twins. I've never seen two people have a stronger bond than you guys. I'm sure if you just reached out to her-"

"Sophie, I can't. You don't understand; I know Brexley. She gave me my time to reach out, and I didn't take it. It's past the point of no return now."

"I'm sorry, Joe. I really am. I wish there was something I could do to help you through this," Sophie says, and I can hear the sadness in her voice.

"You do help. Talking everything out with you helps me figure out what I need to do to move on and create my own new path," I tell her, and it's as though I can feel her mood brighten up through the phone.

"Well, I'm glad it does. Do you have anything thought up about what you wanna do?"

"I've been working on some new music. It's a different type of vibe, though, and I'm not sure people will understand."

"I'm sure they'd understand. Besides, people would probably be into it. They like new, fresh concepts. Would you go solo or are you going to try and form a new band?"

"I'd rather form a new band. I don't really like being on stage by myself. It just feels awkward to me," I say.

"That's understandable. Listen, Joe, I've got to get back to filming soon. I have a big scene with Maisie that we're working on," Sophie says.

"Okay. Sounds good. Is it okay if I text you later, then?"

"Yes, of course. You can text or call me whenever you need to. One more thing, though."

"What is it?"

"I know you said I don't understand what's going on between you and Brexley right now, and maybe you're right. Maybe I don't. But I do think if you just texted her, at least once, it would make things a little better. She might not be willing to totally include you back into her life again, same goes for her in yours, but it could help both of you guys realize you still love each other. It really hasn't been that long. There's still hope."

"I don't know, Soph. It's more complicated than that. It's almost been a month since I talked to her last, and I honestly don't think she cares about me anymore. I've always been the more sensitive twin, the one who holds onto emotions the longest. She probably isn't even sad about it anymore," I explain.

"Maybe in most situations she doesn't hold onto emotions long. But this isn't most situations, Joe, this concerns you. Her best friend," Sophie says.

"I guess. If she even sees me as her best friend anymore."

"I bet she does. Just consider texting her, okay? I've got to go."

"Yeah, I'll consider it. Good luck filming. I'll talk to you later," I say.

"Thank you. Bye, J," Sophie says, and she hangs up.

I spend a long time staring at my phone after our conversation, Sophie's words running through my mind. As much as I want to take her advice and text my sister, I'm scared of the outcome. But then again, can this situation get much worse than what it is right now? In all honesty, probably not. Sucking in a breath, I find Brexley's name in my texts and send one to her.

Just two words. That's all I can muster, but at least it's something. It's all I can handle without breaking down, because I know she's not going to answer. I know she hates me now, probably will forever. I miss her so fucking much right now, but there's nothing I can do. Not anymore.