Desire or Revenge (Cancelled)

Chapter 31: A jacket for the cold

As soon as he comes to terms with his violent outburst his face falls and his hands are off my shoulders and behind his back. His face now looks worse than before, it's full of guilt.
"No... I don't mean... it." he said in a shaky and strained voice. He was staggering on his feet - barely managing to be straight - and he was rubbing his forehead.

"You're not like that maid, I know it, I trust you, I just can believe that I... said that!"
He looked just as shocked as I did. My body was beginning to match his, except I didn't stink of alcohol.

Although he had just given me a huge scare, I had to suck up my courage and ask about Allie, or rather beg him not to kill her.
I batted my eyelashes to get rid of that tears and with a gulp, I swallowed down my lump.
"The maid - Allie, she's my good friend... possibly my only true one. Don't... kill her."
His eyebrows sunk in anger, guilt, pity, sadness. I didn't know, but he did not look pleased.

"Alexa, I don't have a choice, she will expose us to the cops, if she hasn't already! And besides you've know her for what like two days. It's my duty to protect the family, I have to-"
"No, I knew he'd before!"
"Well that's just fantastic! Why don't I know anything? It's just going to go hurt you more when she's dead."
"NO!" I scream on impulse. "Don't hurt her!"
"For gods sake Alexa, what do you expect me to do? Hold her hostage then?!"

"Please! Just... just done kill her! For me..." I cry, unable to control myself.
"You think just because I'm in love with you, that I will do whatever you say!? Our lives are in danger!"  He reached for his whiskey and  took a big swing, practically smashing the neck of the bottle between his parted lips.

An image came to my head. If we were to ever have a future, would this be it? Him and I fighting, him scaring me, him drinking and going out of control. Most of the time I put up a strong front, but he tears it down, exposing me to my real raw emotions. I would have to deal with all of this, just because I'm falling in love.

This future doesn't sound so appealing anymore. Why am I overthinking this? It's not like we will have a future.
"What are you crying for now? My drinking? Am I to stop that too?"
His words punctured my heart even more. I hadn't even realised that I was crying and he had to point it out so rudely! Can't he be nice to me for more than a minute...

I know he is really hurting right now, but I can't let him treat me like this, and then make up with me with a date or sex. In this moment, I was done with him and his toxicity! I needed time out.

"Shut up." I calmly said although I felt nothing like it. I aggressively wiped at eyes and I didn't look back at Hunter until I was out the room, slamming the door closed. I didn't stop there, I left the hotel itself with only my phone in my pocket. I came to a realisation that the hotel key was back in the room, how stupid of me!
But I couldn't go back, not now, I needed to cool down.

Outside the hotel, I half expected Kai to be standing at the door, waiting for me to run into his arms for comfort. A flood of disappointment washed over me, I wanted Kai to be here. I don't know why even thought it would happen. I was really just alone, despite the fact that the hotel was filled with tourists.

I also expected Hunter to come running after me, tell me he didn't mean it. There was no sign of him either. Instead of wallowing in my sorrows, I decided to explore the hotel more, or rather it's gardens. Where else was I to go?

The gardens at the back of the hotel were not a let down. They were just as expected. Huge and beautiful. The garden was wrapped around with a high white wall and evenly spaced cypress trees were planted inside by the wall. The central area of the garden was a tall spouting fountain made from marble sitting on a circular brick patio. Benches surrounded it, making it an idealistic place to relax.

The air was cool on my face, relieving the tension in me. I already felt better. I took a straight stoned path to the fountain and sat down on a bench. I was alone apart from a couple of children throwing bread at the blackbirds and sparrows.

While my mind was at ease, I couldn't help but think about Hunter, was he alright, he looked like he was in a very bad shape. If only I could have helped him, and prevented this big fight.

I closed my eyes to listen to the splashing of the fountain - let me senses focus on something else. It was so soothing and calming, I must have fallen asleep. It didn't feel like I did, but when I opened my eyes, I got a shock.

A black leather jacket was placed on top of me, and I didn't even feel it. I jumped at its unexpected appearance and had to take several deep breathes to calm down. I wondered, who placed it on me? Although I was pretty certain I knew who. I could smell his aroma all over the jacket. I was second guessing myself, would he really do this??

I stood up with the jacket in my arms and walked over to the group of kids who were now playing hopscotch on the patio - thankfully they were still here.
I approached the eldest boy. I hoped that he could speak English or Italian.
"Hello there. Did you happen to see who gave me this jacket? I was asleep."

The other younger kids backed away slowly, but the eldest - maybe he was 12 - stayed put with his reddened cheeks.
"Him." He replied and pointed to the far end of the garden, where a man stood against an oak tree.
My intuition was right, it was Hunter...
"Thank you so much!" I thanked the boy and awkwardly began to approach Hunter.

His head was bent down, a hand in his jeans pocket and the other holding thankfully a water bottle. Once he saw me, he walked straight towards me with a bit of hesitation at first.

Once we were close enough I handed him his jacket. He gently took it back and put it on.
"Are you okay?" He asks in a quiet tone, he seemed more sober now.
"I should be asking you that question."
"No, I acted out of line, again."
"Yeah, again."
"I've given it some thought, about us I mean. All I do is hurt you, and I'm getting worse. I can't make up for it... But I have ordered them to hold off killing Allie for now." A weight lifted off my shoulders when he announced this and I felt so grateful.

"Thank you Hu-"
"Let me finish. Please. I...don't want to admit it, but we are toxic, I'm toxic to you..." 
"I know. You screw up."
"Yes I do, thank you! Thank you for seeing that. I don't want you to go against everything, bend yourself backwards for me, watch me screw up again! We must stop, you must stop loving me!" He begged with his eyes barely holding back tears.
"I can't!"