Desire or Revenge (Cancelled)

Chapter 32: History

Even though he had drunk half a bottle of whiskey, he looked and sounded much soberer than before. He looked like he meant everything he said with the words flying out of him.
"So that's it then? You just want to break up?"
"No I don't want to, but it's for your safety baby.."
My heart sunk at his words. He called me baby, something he never says, this just made the whole moment more unbearable. I could feel deep pit forming in my stomach, like a dark hole sucking everything into itself...

"I will still protect you from all your enemies, our enemies..."
"Do you think I care about protection right now??" I shout surprising myself. The thought of myself being more vulnerable without Hunter by my side didn't even cross my mind.
He placed his hands on my shoulders and gave me a solemn look. A light scoff escaped from his mouth.
"I know you are a... stubborn woman but sometimes you need to look after yourself... Please do that for me. It'll give me a peace of mind."

No words could come out of my parted lips, from his look of concern, I wanted to listen to him. I felt his arms wrap around me as he pulled me into a tight hug. The hug alone could speak a thousand words.

I could tell that he didn't just hug me to comfort me, but to comfort himself too. He held me so tightly as if I was going to float away any second. I breathed in his scent for what I hoped for wouldn't be the last time. His woody cologne imprinted on my mind, unfortunately so did his alcohol stench.

He pulled away with a haggard expression but gave me a weak smile.
"I will look after myself..."
"Yeah I don't want to see you getting into more trouble."
"I'm not so sure about that. What will happen here in Italy and at the ball?" I ask trying to keep my mind off the ache in my stomach and heart.
"That's still going ahead, unless you're not up for it?"
"I am."
He thinks for a short moment, contemplating whether to say the next part.
"I was thinking... That we should head to our headquarters in Italy. To discuss our 'current situation'"
"I mean yeah sure, you're the boss." I blurted out and immediately regretted my remark. A shy smile appeared in between his clenched jaw.
"I... guess that's true, you're just a employee to me now." He shrugs with a laugh. I couldn't tell if he was serious or not...

He looked at me with a softer gaze and spoke up "I'm sorry... I just need to get used to us like.. this." He began to walk away, staggering and stumbling at his first few steps but then regaining his balance.
I followed him. Staying three steps behind, that's probably for the best. His eyes were focused on what's in front of him, never checking on me to see if I'm following or if I'm ok.

***
The hotel room has this chilled feeling when we walked inside, like that feeling when you watch a horror movie or explore alone in an abandoned area.
Did out awkwardness and sadness shift this? It was also unbearably quiet, just the old clock can be heard ticking away in the sitting room.
"You should.. go and pack, I'll call uh Marco, he's in charge of the house in Italy."
"Yeah."
"Ok." He walked away.
This all aggravated me, was this how it was going to be from now on? Making small talk, him only talking when it's urgent and the feeling of this heavy cloud that has settled on us.

I felt a pain in my palm and upon looking down I noticed that my hand was clenched with my manicured nails digging into my skin. I lifted up my fingers to see 4 small red crescent moon shaped dents in my skin. Great. I can't feel my own anger.
My own heavy breathing had replaced the seemingly loud ticking of the clock.

After a few seconds of frantically searching for my suitcase I fling it open, exposing its bare insides. I go to the closet with houses all of my hanged up clothes and with a big (aggressive) hug I pulled them to me and chugged them into the suitcase - making a mess I didn't intend on happening. I knelt on the floor and slowly began to remove the hangers I so carelessly flung too. I hadn't noticed Hunter at the door.

The clearing of his throat made me shake from the unexpected introduction.
"I've called Marco, he is awaiting our arrival."
"When will we get there?"
"Tomorrow morning we'll drive to Rome, the headquarters."
"All roads lead to Rome, don't they?" I rolled my eyes in an attempted friendly manner.
"Sarcasm doesn't suit you." He says blankly and walks out of the room leaving me in utter shock.
Why is it the second he breaks up with me, he turns back to his insolent self.

I give up on packing, how could I focus? I sit on my bed, it hasn't been slept in for a while.
In this sad loneliness. I could only think of home. And no I didn't mean LA but my beach house here in Italy. After 20 years, the picturesque vision of the house is clear in my mind. I was here in Italy, I should visit it, will I have the chance. If it is still there...
All I had to do was ask Hunter. So simple.

I walk into his room, he himself is laying in his bed, alone this time, well with the company of a glass.
"What?"
"I wish to visit Sicily."
"What for?" He slurs with the glass at his lips.
"It's where I grew up, I want to remember my time-"
"We don't have time, for such unnecessary journeys." He grunts sighing.
"It's my home!" I exclaim. "Home is where you find love and safety. It's a place full of happy memories, it's where your parents are..."
"Well as far as I... can remember your parents are well dead."