8 months na simula nang mamatay si Sean. Yes, he died not because of the plane crashed. He died because he care.
The plane he's boarding was hijacked by an unknowned terrorist. That terrorist was about to shoot an old guy and 2 children when Sean covered them with his body.
Ever since, I knew Sean has a soft heart. He always give care specially with kids and elders. There was also a time that he want to be a philanthropist but his love with camera and photography can't be denied.
Tumanggap ang mommy at batang kapatid ni Sean ng Hero's award galing sa gobyerno para sa ginawa ni Sean. Though, for me kahit anong medalya pa yan, hindi na maibabalik ang buhay ng isang anak, ng isang kapatid, ng lalaking gusto kong makasama habang buhay. Ang lalaking sabay kong nangarap. Ang lalaking ngayon, iniwan na ang pamilya nya at ako.
"Cous, hanggang kailan ka ba magmumukmok?" Bungad na tanong sa akin ni Trisha. She's my cousin from father side pero sa amin sya lumaki dahil iniwan sya ng nanay nya nung 5y years old sya. Since then, hindi na bumalik ang nanay nya. And as Trisha grows tinanggap namin sya hindi bilang pinsan ko kundi bilang kapatid at anak ni Mamay.
Independent din sya ever since bata pa kami. Noon, pag may naiipon syang pera pumupunta sya sa palengke para bumili ng candies hindi para kainin, nirerepack nya yon at binebenta sa school. She's also smart and beautiful, inside and out. Now, she has 4 kids in Zambales and her husband supports her no matter what. Her life is perfect and she deserves it. Yet, andito sya sa Manila para damayan ako.
I didnt look at her direction, tulala lang ako habang nakaupo sa kama ko while looking outside my window.
8 months. I've been like this for 8 freaking months. Parang nawalan ng ilaw ang buhay ko. Nawalan ng direksyon. Ng sigla. I stopped going out. I even asked Hugo to give me some time. Some space. Hindi naman kasi madali mawalan ng mahal sa buhay. Ng dahilan para ka mabuhay.
I sighed and try not cry but I failed. Even with my own tears, I dont even know how to controll it now. I missed him. So much like half of my heart was taken away. With him. In his grave.
Okay lang sana kung nambabae na lang sya. Atleast nakikita ko sya. Ang ngiti nya. Hindi yung ganito. Lalo na kapag dadalawin ko sya sa sementeryo. Kinikilabutan ako na hindi ko mawari. Na hindi ko pa din tanggap na kapag dadalawin ko si Sean hindi mukha nya ang makikita ko, kundi puntod.
I sob. Then my sobs became loud. I felt Trisha hugging me, trying to comfort me but it's not enough. I know I should live. Para sa sarili ko, para sa pamilya ko. I know hindi pa ito ang katapusan at marami pang mangyayari pero it's like I cant find my strenght to even stand and move forward. Para akong nakatali sa nakaraan. Sa alaala ni Sean.
I try to compose my self. I'm sick of crying. I'm tired of being hurt. Minsan naiisip ko kasalanan naman ni Sean. Madaya sya. Nangako sya sa akin na pakakasalan ako. He said we will build our house near the valley together. He said we will have a big family and watch our children grow together... Together hah! I suddenly want to shout. He's so unfair he left me! I want to be mad and angry with him. He's so unfair he forgets his promises.
But I cant... Kasi by the end of the day, reality will always hit me. That I love him and it's so deep it'll take a lifetime to remove it's roots in my heart.
A/N: Update ako ng dalawa dito. Maikli lang ung chap 3 eh. Hahaha saka demand ng bff ko at ate ko lols. Kayo jan na nakasilip neto. Add nyo naman. Inuulit ko hindi ko hinihingi ang pag add at votes para mapublish or mamovie eto. Di naman ako magaling tulad ng mga sikat na writers dito na idol ko din. Para lang makita din ng iba kaya ako nanghihingi ng votes at reads. Saka comment na din para makilala ko naman kayo. I want friends here. Di po ako snob. Lols!
