INEFABBLE - Short Stories Collection #2

사이코

I've been listening to the same song for the past eight months.

At the beginning, I wasn't really sure why. A lot of singers, including my favorite the beau Taylor Swift, have released a lot of songs and albums that contained lyrically-aesthetic songs and bop melodies that get you earworms for days. Yet, this one song remained superior of all of them. I really didn't know why until recently.

To say life was, and still is, extremely tough this year was an understatement. If I were to describe it in detail, though, it was a roller coaster ride and everyone was stuck in the middle. No one came to help and everyone was wondering if this ride would ever come to an end at all. Every person was caught up with their anxieties and worries for the future. A lot of people didn't survive the ride and everyday, more and more people were giving up.

That's how life's like nowadays.

A lot of emotions had built their own shelter inside of me. Oftentimes, I found myself dealing with them alone. I didn't like being alone at all. It felt lonely not having company with me like I used to before all these things happened. It was cruel not being able to see the people you longed to see for months. It's even more cruel not to be able to escape the emotions you desperately tried to avoid.

This quarantine brought nothing but anxiety to everyone. I wasn't even safe from it. Most days, I would think of things alone. My thoughts would run wild and I didn't mean it in a good way. I'd cry secretly for hours because of being uncertain of the future. I'd mourn because of the vivid memories I had before this hell happened. I could see the smiles that I and a lot of people had. I could hear our hearty laughs. I could still feel the warmth of the hugs from the people who mattered to us.

Then, I'd cry again upon realizing that these things, these memories, would take a long time to be restored or worse, it could never be restored anymore. Nothing's normal anymore.

When I cried, I'd always have my phone and a pair of earphones plugged in my ears. I'd scroll through my playlist searching for a certain song. I never knew why I was even listening to it so much.

I loved music. Who doesn't though? I've been a fan of few singers because their lyrics spoke to me or because their music was so loud I could not hear the deaths this pandemic caused. They had been my escape throughout this period. Listening to music somehow drained out the voices from my demons.

This song, though, was with me since even before the beginning of this quarantine. I listened to it everytime with my earphones or with the speakers. I played this song when I write, when I sleep, or just out of the blue. I even learned the dance despite it not being really upbeat.

I never knew why I was somehow addicted to it. It wasn't like a Taylor Swift song which held colorful sentences and aesthetically pleasing melody.

It wasn't even in English.

But then, as I write this, listening to this song again, I realize why.

I don't care if it's not as upbeat as many of the songs today. I don't even care if the meaning to this song is different to how I perceived it all this time.

I don't care if this song is not fully in English. I don't even care if it's in a different language.

The girls' vocals are spot-on. Their voices blend so well. It enchants me everytime I listen to it that I have to force myself sometimes to stop. However, it is not the main reason why I listen to it.

This song has been my comfort all this time from this cruel world we live in today. It reminds me everytime that despite the psychotic events that is happening to us right now, everything will be alright at some point. It's funny because that one English line that's constantly been repeated throughout the song has been the biggest comfort I've had ever since its release last year.

"Hey now, we'll be okay."