Not my Husband

Jessica Pierce

 "I need to go get my stuff from the apartment" I tell Lucas before eating another spoonful of ice-cream. It's Sunday afternoon, the sun is shining and I am in an okay place mentality, I think I can stomach seeing Jess.

"Get your stuff? Do plan on living here forever?" Lucas says taking a sip from his soda can with a playful glint in his eye

"No, although I wish I could" I say looking around at the beautiful hotel room "I think it's time I moved into a new apartment" I continue

"How come?" Lucas asks cocking his head to the side just a little

"After what happened, I couldn't bear seeing the same things again. Same apartment, same bed, I might even get a new car" I say half lying. I mean I do want to kind of start over, but the real reason I need a new apartment is because I cannot live with Jess anymore, I know she's my best friend, but if I have to live with her, and see her every day, talking with her, I will never be able to get over what happened with Hunter, she's a reminder and a part of me blames her.

"Alright" Lucas says "Do you any idea where you're going to go" He asks

"I was thinking Church Park" I say

"There are some nice apartments there, and it's a great neighbourhood too" He says with a nod

"So I was thinking that maybe you could drop me off at my apartment, I left my car there so I can drive back" I say "And then tomorrow I'll go apartment hunting" I finish

"You want some company tomorrow" He asks

"I would love some, won't you be busy?" I respond taking another spoonful of the heavenly mint chocolate chip ice cream

"I can make sometime for you, just let me know what time you want to go" He says and I get butterflies, he's going to make time for me, why is he so sweet? He's giving me butterflies again, this is a big deal.

"Maybe we could go in the morning around ten" I suggest

"Perfect, now get ready so I can drop you off at your apartment" He says and I immediately leap off the bed where we were sitting

"Yes sir" I say heading to the bathroom so I can take a shower.

.

When I get out of the shower I make sure to put my pyjamas back on, I don't think I will ever be comfortable wearing nothing but a towel in front of any man ever again. Lucas is not in the room anymore and the bed is spread and there is a paper bag on top of it. When I open it, there are clothes inside and a note that reads:

I got you something to wear for today; I know all you have are pyjamas. I hope you like what I got

-Lucas

I take the clothes out the bag and hold them up so I can get a good look, and I have to say I'm impressed, and kind of flattered. It's nothing fancy, but he knows my style. I then take the pyjamas off and put the pair of black and white joggers on, one leg is black and the other is white. I then take the dark blue cotton bra which he bought, kind of embarrassing, and put it on, followed by the black distressed crop top that he got for me. When I look in the mirror at first I think that I look good, I even feel good. But as my eyes linger on my exposed abdomen I feel insecure, I don't like it, and the longer I keep staring at it, the more my eyes start to prickle.

I try to push the emotions back down, and shut down the images that keep flashing in my head of Hunter but I can't, so I just breakdown, falling to the ground. I cry so hard that my head start to hurt. I tuck my head in between my knees so I don't have to look at myself in the mirror, so I don't see how broken I am. I can't even put some clothes on without crying.