Not my Husband

Vigilantism and Explanations

So does being in love with Lucas mean that if he really is a murderer I just have to accept it and move on? I can't do that can I? Its murder and its wrong and I could get arrested if he got caught and people find out that I knew all along.

But on the other hand, he's message said that he could explain what I saw, maybe he didn't kill that man, or maybe it was self defence.

I hated this, I've been torturing myself for the past several days with these thoughts, I had managed to get some more time off from Riley, just a couple of weeks this time, I told her that I wasn't ready to be back at work given recent events. I didn't elaborate of course, so she just assumed that I meant the rape when in fact I meant that I needed time off to think about the fact that her husband might have killed someone and I am so desperately in love with him in spite of it. And yes. I am aware of the fact that I just might be clinically insane

After I told Lucas that I just needed some time we didn't talk much after until Friday evening, last night when I sent him a text written '11 am tomorrow at our bar' and he told me that he would see me then. At least this way I get to see him in public so I know he can't harm me, I even bought a taser just in case, I've also been attending those boxing lessons that my dad had paid for, so I feel a little safer.

Meeting him in public also meant that I wouldn't be tempted to sleep with him or anything; I needed to keep a clear head.

It's already 10am, I'm running late and Anthem, the bar is 20 miles out of town. I'm crazy aren't I; a normal person would run fast in the other direction.

I look at my outfit once more in the mirror and I'm still not sure about it. This is the first time I've worn a crop top in a while. I'm wearing a black long sleeved crop top and gray boyfriend mid waist button front tapered jeans. The crop top doesn't expose much but I'm still a little nervous about it. I leave my hair down and I wear a gray embraided flame bucket hat. I look okay, I look good.

I grab my car keys and run down the stairs. I grab my black boots by the door and I rush out to my car. During the whole drive my hands are so shaky and sweaty, it's supposed to be an hour drive but it feels like only 10 minutes, when I get to Anthem I see Lucas' blue sports car. He hasn't left; I'm 45 minutes late so I wouldn't have been surprised if he had.

Okay, I can do this. All I have to do is go inside, Lucas will tell me what happened and then we will go home and make love, because I am a good person and good things happen to good people, the love of my life is not a cold blooded killer.

Once I've convinced myself of Lucas' innocence I grab my phone and I text Lucas to tell him that I have arrived and he replies comes a few seconds later telling me that he is at the pool table and that he's got a beer for me.

Nervously I get out of my car, and step on to the curb. The town looks just as empty as it did the first time I came here with Lucas, they're just a few people walking around. I lock my car and walk towards the bar. When I open the door the smell of burgers, meat and alcohol fills my nostrils. The bar is empty as well, except for the bar tender wiping the surfaces and Lucas who is at the pool table. Both their eyes are on me and I stand still by the door.

I look at Lucas and he still looks as handsome as ever, I don't know why I was expecting him to look different. The look he gives me makes butterflies erupt in my stomach, I feel light headed. He is looking at me the same way my mother looks at my father when he is cooking for her and she just sits there and watches him with a look filled with so much loves it made me want to cry sometimes.

Lucas is looking at me as though I am the only thing that matters to him, the only girl in the world, and that look is comforting, and it makes me feel good, so I walk towards him.