Haunted and Paranoid

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The drive back to work is so nerve wrecking. All I can see is Lucas standing over a dead man's body. Did he kill that man? If so why? Was he going to kill me too now that I was a witness to his crimes? I keep looking in my rear view mirror for the black Nissan he was driving but I don't see it. Why wasn't he chasing me? It's at this moment that I wish I had taken up my parents' offer of getting a body guard

When I get to work I'm a dishevelled mess, I'm sweating and I can barely breathe. My whole body is trembling as though I'm standing naked in a freezer.

"Yara, what took you so long? It has been an hour" Riley says when I enter her office, she sounds upset, but all I can think is should I tell her what I just saw? Should I tell anyone? What if there is more to the story?

"Yara, what is wrong with you?" Riley asks snapping me out my thoughts

"I'm sorry Riley" I say looking at everything but her, my heart is still pounding. What if she already knows what her husband did to that man? What if she knows I know?

"Yara are you okay?" Riley asks starting to sound concerned

"Riley can I please go home?" I ask my voice breaking and a tear rolling down my face; my knees start to feel weak, like they're going to give out at any moment from now

"Yara, it's the middle of the day. What happened?" Riley asks getting out of her chair and walking towards me

"Riley please I can't be here" I say stepping back. I know that this will be the first place that Lucas will look for me, and at least at my apartment I can lock the doors and I can call 911 if he even so much as knocks on my door.

"Okay" Riley says looking at me as though I'm made of glass and I might break at any moment, and she's not wrong.

As soon as she allows me I practically sprint out of my office, I don't pack up any of the stuff at my desk and I run back to the parking garage and get in my car. When I don't get stopped by the police for speeding I'm grateful. My vision is blurred by my tears so it's a miracle when I don't get into a car crash

It's only when I get back to my loft that I realize that I dropped my phone at that creepy apartment where I found Lucas, and I left my iPad and laptop at work so I have no way to contact anyone. I lock my door and I head straight for the sofa and I just lay there.

For some reason, thinking about the moments I had with Lucas before what I saw today calms me down. The way he looks at me, his smile, his touch, his scent. Thinking about those things brings my heart rate down, my body stops shaking and I feel like I can breathe.

Why haven't I called the police yet, I could have done it when I got to work, I could even do it now, I'd just need to borrow a phone from one of my neighbours. I should do that. But I want to talk to him first; I want to know what happened, what I saw. Maybe there is a simple explanation for all this, or maybe there isn't and he might kill me. But would he? He loves me doesn't he? He would have no reason to lie about that. But even if he does love me, it doesn't mean that he won't kill me in order to keep a secret.

I get up from my sofa and walk to the fridge and I grab myself a carton of mango juice. I need to stop thinking about Lucas. I take a seat on the kitchen island after grabbing the stack of mail that was on top of the stove that I hadn't opened yet. Maybe a little light reading will get my mind off what happened. I open the first envelope to find a wedding invite for a Nicole Kim and Rafiki Valentine. I didn't even know that my little brother was engaged. And why is he getting married at 21?

I see that the wedding is in seven weeks at my parents' house, I wish it was earlier so I could have an excuse to run away from all my problems.

No matter how hard I try the image of Lucas standing over a dead body haunts me; it has been burned to my memory. What is wrong with me? The first thing I should have done was go to the police station. Am I so lonely that I won't report a murderer just for the slight chance that he cares for me?

I hear a knock coming from my front door and my head jerks in that direction. I just know that it's Lucas and my heart starts pounding again and tears start prickling at my eyes. I jump off the kitchen counter and my knees are weak and my palms start to sweat. I can feel my whole body trembling. I know I shouldn't open the door, but my body moves towards the door anyway without my brains permission.

With each step my breathing becomes more erratic and so does my heart rate, I feel as though my heart may just burst through my chest. When I wrap my hand around the door knob I feel as though I might faint. I'm so terrified to find out what will happen if I let Lucas in.

A second, much louder knock comes from the door startling me and making me jump back. That knock sounded angry, is he angry with me for following him, for finding him the way I did. Oh God why did I follow him? Ignorance really is bliss.

He knows I'm at home, so there is no way I could ignore him. Once again I wrap my hand around the cold metal of the door knob and I twist it, opening the front door slowly, flinching as though Lucas is going to swing an axe at me, murdering me as soon as he sees me. But when I open the door there is no one there. Lucas is not there. I step out into the hall and look both sides and I don't see anyone.

Great! Now I'm going insane with this crippling paranoia. Just as I'm about to close the door I hear a buzzing sound coming from the floor, I look down to find my cell phone there. So Lucas was here. He didn't come to murder me; he came to return my phone. But why?

I pick my phone up from the ground and I inspect it, expecting to find a bomb or something, maybe that's how Lucas intends to murder me, planting a bomb in my phone. The phone buzzes again, and when it lights up the notification shows that it is a message from Lucas. I get back into my loft and I close the door behind me and run up to my room and jump on my bed.

Okay, so maybe Lucas wasn't planning on killing me just yet. Why am I so convinced that he is a murderer? Maybe he just came across the body. I should just read his message. I don't know why I'm so nervous it's just a text message, I've received lots of those before. I unlock my phone and I open the message immediately, gasping at how long the text is. It reads;

Yara-Idah Valentine I fell in love with you the moment I met you. I fell in love with your beauty, your personality, everything. You made my heart stop. I love the way you look at me, the way you speak, the way you walk, even the way you eat like a child. I love that you don't keep any proper food in your fridge, I love how you laugh at your own jokes, how you laugh at the silliest things, I love that mango juice and mango smoothies are your favourite beverages, I love that you smell like vanilla, I love that cartoons areyour favourite thing to watch and I love that you are a terrible driver. Yara I am so madly in love with you. I am telling you this  because I need you to know  before I can explain what you saw today, I know that you must be terrified and confused but Yara it wasn't what it looked like. I'm not going to explain it through text I feel that this is a conversation that we need to have in person. When you are ready just message me a time and a place and I will be there.

Well shit! I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this. I know how I feel, but I also know that the way I feel is not the way I'm supposed to feel. I feel good, great even. Butterflies erupted in my stomach each time I read the word love and a big smile that will not go away is plastered on my face. I'm happy, I'm excited. But I'm not supposed to be. Yes Lucas did say what I saw wasn't what it looked like, but he never said that he didn't murder that man. I should be scared, but instead I am so freaking happy. I know that this isn't the first time that Lucas has told me that he loves me, but this time its just so much better because of the way he said it, the words he used. I feel like he can really see me

I reply to Lucas' message with four simple words;

Just give me time

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A/N Ladies and Gentlemen that is the 23rd chapter and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. As usual do not forget to point out any mistakes if you see them, I am also open to suggestions

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xoxo

Edith Montgomery

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