Deadly as trust

Thirty-five: Miriam

Four months later.

Wet feet padded across the floor as I reached the other side of the bedroom wrapped in nothing but a towel.

Rather than think of what to wear, I was thinking of a million questions to ask. There was so much I wanted to know, I couldn't even help but feel insecure.

Jide.

I felt this sudden chill down my spine and tried to push all thoughts and emotions away from my mind.

Today was the day I received answers.

I tried to focus on my wardrobe instead, thinking for a moment about how lonely the room felt as it was the first room I had, for as long as I could remember, that I didn't have to share with anybody.

I ended up picking a beige body-hug top and a black knee-length flared skirt and in a few minutes, I paired it up with beige kitten heels. In an effort to at least look like I wasn't mourning, I tied up the braids I had made recently in a doughnut.

In a few hours, I was walking to female ward of the hospital and didn't stop until I got to her bed.

"Miriam?"

I let out a short breath not sure of what to feel and decided that it'd be best if I kept a blank expression.

"Jamilah."

I heard she had woken up from coma a month back and had been interrogated. Eventually, the case had been over after about a few weeks later. What I didn't know though was what she said during the interrogation. I had let Dayo know that she had knowledge about Gabriel. The case eventually ended with Majoress away in jail.

An unwelcoming silence followed after I called her name and I just sat down beside her bed while she watched me.

"You knew we were all in danger before it happened, didn't you?" I began before I could stop myself and she turned away. I took it as a 'yes'.

"If I didn't trust you so much I'd have thought that you betrayed your own cousin. Why didn't you let us both know what was happening?"

She hesitated, maybe she was trying to find the right words.

"It was better you both stayed out of it."

"We were already involved, Jamilah. Didn't you see that? And you almost got yourself killed.", I tried as much as possible to avoid raising my voice but failed, earning attention from few of the people around. I had to pause for a while and wait for the people to go back to their businesses.

I didn't know how to control my emotions since I was well aware that Jide was... gone. And it was because she didn't say anything at first but... I didn't really want to hate her.

"Maybe I deserve it too but at least just hear me out."

Maybe?!

"By the way, I heard that you helped Jide's colleague — Dayo — with the case and now it's over. Congratulations. That is something good to think about."

I folded my arms impatiently, waiting for her to just come out and tell me what I wanted to hear. She seemed to have read my mind and just continued.

"Well, the truth is that something like this had happened before and I didn't want it to happen again. I tried to get in the way and it didn't turn out like I planned."

Happened before?... What did she mean?

One of my brows was raised, daring her to continue.

"That time, my father had given Jide and his brother two options — to either channel all their energy to working for him in the police force or to spend time in jail. Jide took the first option and decided to live with my father and the rest of my family. His brother was furious after that and felt betrayed."

Her finger seemed to be drawing circles on the bed without her being aware as she talked.

"Soon he broke out of prison and decided to retaliate and I was kidnapped with my sister. I was lucky anyway but I lost my sister. Jide blamed himself for it and took all that aggression to work as a detective with hopes that he would be able to make up for it. He moved from my father's house after that with me."

She paused for a while before looking at me.

"He had a feeling. When your case came in, he already predicted who the killer was but he tried to keep you out of it because he thought it was better you didn't know. He wanted justice, I think, and he wanted to stop everything from happening again."

So, that was why he was always hiding something. He knew.

He knew.

I didn't know whether to feel thankful for him hiding it from me or not but, I still felt a little bit of anger and I couldn't help but feel a little stupid as well.

I didn't even know why, he didn't owe anything to me. In the end, I didn't know him at all.

"Is that all you need to know?", Jamilah asked but I said nothing, I just stared away.

"So, when I did a little digging and found out for myself who we were dealing with, I tried to do his job and got us all in a mess. So I think I owe you an apology."

I turned to look her squarely in the eyes. She looked very sincere and I didn't have to strength to hold a grudge. I was too busy using up my strength to suppress all my emotions so none would surface.

"Save it Jamilah. It's not necessary. I just need time to think for now."

She looked like she understood. That was Jamilah, somehow, she always did.

I stood to leave.

"By the way, Dayo has keys to the house."

She quirked a brow, "Why? Are you not staying there?"

"No, I live on the other side of town now. I had decided to move on since the case is over now."

"Oh.", was all she said but I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

I left the room without a word.

The truth was that I couldn't bring myself to live there, not after everything. The guilt would give me sleepless nights and I couldn't take it.

I sucked in much air as I could and clutched the handbag I forgot I was holding the whole time close to me.

This was a new beginning now. Despite everything that happened, I still had a reason to smile, at least, and to be grateful.

So, even if it was hard, even if I was confused and a little angry, even if I also felt like crying, I smiled, a genuine but sad one. I owed it to myself and maybe Jide to be happy since he had made a sacrifice for me.

"Thank you very much, Jide.", I whispered to myself and walked as triumphant as I could will myself to, with that same smile plastered on my face.

~~~

And... with that, we have come to the end of 'Deadly as Trust'. Thank you for sticking with this lazy author.

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