Unavoidable

Chapter 9

I wake up naturally and I find myself once again in Emily's arms, but this time I'm in no rush to remove myself. I shift my head slightly to see the time. It's only around 7 o'clock so I decide to fall back asleep for another hour or so. I put my head back down and drift back to sleep.

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I wake up when I feel Emily move away from me. I open my eyes and see her trying to out of the bed slowly.

"What time is it?" I ask groggily.

"It's like 8:15, you can keep sleeping for another half an hour if you want we aren't due down for another hour," She says to me.

"No it's okay I want to get showered and take some Advil," I reply. My hangover has started to kick in and I feel like shit. I sit cross legged in the bed and hold my head in my hands. My throat feels raspy from crying and my eyes are slightly swollen.

"Here," Emily says and hands me a blister pack of Advil and bottle of water. I smile thanks at her. I swallow the Advil and chug the water before rising from the bed to put my stuff together. I pack my clothes up in my go bag before grabbing the clothes I'm going to wear for the plane ride back. I pick out some comfy jeans and and a plain t-shirt. I head into the bathroom to shower and change once I see Emily exit. I throw my hair up into a messy bun and then quickly shower. The hot water eases some of my tension and I realize that for the first time in almost 10 years I'm able to think about Claire without wanting to break down. I smile at the thought. Instead of all the regret I used to feel when I would think about Claire, I'm now focused on the happy times we had. I stay smiling as I shut the water off and hop out of the shower. The bathroom is steamy as I wrap my towel around my body and dry off. My shirt somehow slipped off the counter and onto the damp floor. I mutter a curse and hang it up to dry. I change quickly into my jeans and bra but leave my top off for a minute so it can dry. I wipe the fog off the mirror so I can put some light makeup on. I do my best to conceal how puffy my eyes are and liberally apply lip balm to my chapped lips. I lean away from the mirror. To any normal person I would look fine, however to my team of some of the best profilers in the world, I look a little off. Hopefully, they just amount it to all the alcohol I consumed last night. I hear a knock at the door.

"Can I come in?" Emily asks.

"Yeah, come in," I reply. The door opens and Emily steps in looking at her phone.

"Hey, I was just wondering if I could use your deodorant? Mine is all packed I don't want to unpack my bag." She finally looks up at me and I think I catch her eyes drifting down my body. She quickly looks back at my face and I hastily grab the deodorant and hand it to her. Once she leaves, I put on my shirt, not caring that it's still damp. I hear my phone ding and I check the message. It's a text from JJ, <Where are you guys? Hotch is getting antsy>. I check the time and its 9:10. Shit we have to be in the lobby in five minutes. I grab my toiletries and hurry out the bathroom. I stuff them into my go bag and zip it up before hoisting it onto my shoulder.

"Emily we gotta go, we're gonna be late," I say. She nods and grabs her bag. We rush into the elevator and quickly get out when it reaches the lobby. Everyone is already there and Hotch shoots us a look.

"Sorry guys, I guess the alarm didn't work," Emily says. We chat with the team for a few minutes while Hotch checks us out. Emily is talking to Morgan and I shoot a sneaky text to JJ while she isn't looking. My message reads <I have so much to tell you about this trip, we will have to do a girls night soon>. I see her read it and then look up at me in confusion and shock. I wiggle my eyebrows at her playfully before glancing back to Emily. She's staring at me but trying to make it less obvious. I give her a small smile before turning to talk to Spence for a minute before Hotch comes back over.

"Let's go team, the car is already out front," Hotch says. We head to the car and since I'm small enough I head into the way back. Emily gets into the way back with me and then the rest of the team file into the car with Hotch and Rossi in the front. Thankfully Rossi is driving us to the landing strip and I don't have to worry about flying around the tight back seat. We all chat and joke around on the car ride and I unknowingly find my hand inching towards Emily's hand on the leather seat. I look down and move my hand back into my lap. We get to small airport and drive right onto the tarmac to the jet. I'm the first one on the plane and instead of taking my regular seat in the large plush chairs, I sit at the table. I want to play chess with Reid and I can't do that from the tableless chairs. Spence sets up the chess board and JJ takes a seat next to him. Emily sits on the other side of me and I internally smile. I'm glad that we've gotten over whatever was wrong between us. I mean sharing a room and sobbing into her chest about my dead bestfriend will do that to people. Reid and I start to play and it seems like I'm winning for once. His cocky little smirk falters for a minute as he calculates his next moves. Then JJ asks Reid something about the case and my hand shakes, forgetting my next move. My breathing starts to accelerate and I feel a hand on my knee comforting me. I glance over at Emily and she gives me a reassuring smile. As soon as the rest of the team hears JJ's comments about the case, they all start discussing it again. I start to panic. I may have been fine this morning to think about it in the comfort of the warm shower, but now the thought of the case and subsequently Claire, is causing me pain.

"Excuse me," I say to Spencer. "I need to use the restroom." My legs feel shaky and I do my best to walk to the bathroom without stumbling. I get into the small bathroom and flip the toilet seat down before the tears start to flow. I silently sob on the toilet for a minute when I hear a knock on the door.

"Come in," I say softly. The door opens and Emily walks in, causing me to cry more.

"Are you okay?" She asks me. I don't want to speak so I just shake my head to say no. "Do you need anything?" She looks at me and I look up at her through my wet lashes.

"Stay with me for a bit?" I say shakily. She nods and leans against the counter. "Come closer," I say to her and scoot over on the toilet to make room for her. She sits next to me and puts her arm around my back. We sit like this until my breathing slows down and I stop crying. I wipe the tears off my face and then stand.

"I'm gonna head back, I think you should wait a minute so they aren't suspicious. I don't really want to share my past with them," I say to her.

"I understand Lilith, your secret is safe with me," She stands up and squeezes my arm. Before I even know what I'm doing, I pull her into a hug. She hugs me back and we stand like that for about a minute. My head is resting on her collarbone and her chin is on the top of my head. I pull away with a small cough and exit the restroom to rejoin the team. I sit back down, put my headphones in and listen to music, and I'm getting more tired by the second. Emily exits the bathroom after a couple of minutes and sits back down next to me. I grab her hand and squeeze it in silent thanks before I let sleep take me, not realizing that our hands are still linked.

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I wake up when I feel the plane land. Somehow during my nap, I ended up on Emily's shoulder. I sit up quickly and gather my stuff. I just want to get home as soon as possible. It's around 6 PM in DC and I have an hour drive to get home. I didn't ride with Spencer, so my drive will just be me and some music. We head back to the Bureau in a Suburban when Hotch stops us before we head our separate ways. Since we didn't get back too late we are expected at work tomorrow. I'm just thankful it's Friday tomorrow and our last day at work unless we get a case. I'm praying that we don't get one and as if he read my mind, Hotch speaks to us.

"Okay team, I know this case was tough so we aren't taking any cases until Monday. You guys will have tomorrow and then the weekend off," Hotch says. Everyone sighs in relief. I grab my keys from my bag and get into my small SUV. I drive away and head to my apartment. As soon as I get to my small place, I drop my bag, throw on some pj's, and crawl into bed. I'm whisked away into dreamland as soon as my head hits the pillow.