Break Me

chapter eighteen

I end up staying at home in my bed for the majority of the week. By Friday I feel like my normal self again but they still keep me home from school just to be sure. Since my immune sysem is still weak, John says we shouldn't compromise it so I have to stay home the rest of the weekend just to be safe.

Since I have to stay home, Amy said Anna and Henry could come over here for movie night which I was extremely happy about because I haven't seen them pretty much all week.

Right now I'm out walking to get some fresh air. I'm not walking far but I just needed to get out of my room, it was getting stuffy.

I still haven't thought much about Mason, I try not to. I just need a break from dealing with him and thinking about him. Everything about him is consuming, so consuming that it suffocates me. I'm glad he's at least giving me space for once.

When I get back in the house I immediately freeze when I see who's sitting on the couch.

Oh no.

My mind starts racing as I try to quickly piece together what I could have possibly done wrong for this woman to show up here. My thoughts feel like they're moving fifty miles a minute as Amy walks over to me.

"Did I do something wrong?" I ask immediately. "If I did I'm so sorry, I'll do better but please don't let her take me back"

There's a crack in my voice and I feel panicked. I can't go back, not after living here. I'm finally living a good life, I'm happy here. If she takes me back it will kill me, I know it will.

"Vanessa, calm down honey you're not going anywhere okay? The social worker is just here for a follow up that's it" Amy reassures me calmly. She rubs my arm comfortingly and I nod my head.

Every time that lady popped up at the orphange she was either taking a child or bringing one back so I can't help my nerves about her being here.

"How about I make you some tea really quickly?" she offers.

I nod my head and we walk into the kitchen. When she's done making the tea she gives it to me and then walks back into the living room to finish the meeting with the social worker.

About ten minutes later the lady leaves and John and Amy join me in the kitchen. I haven't moved from my seat and I'm still holding onto the mug that once had tea in it.

"What did she say?" I ask looking up at them.

"She just wanted to see how everything was going and to give us the final papers from your adoption" John replies.

"Really?" I can't help the smile that creeps onto my face.

"Yes" Amy smiles and comes over to give me a small hug.

"Vanessa," John says looking down at the paper. "I couldn't help but notice that you don't have a last name, or at least it isn't on the paper"

"Oh yeah, I don't have one" I shrug. "I guess my biological parents didn't want me to find them or something I don't know. My full name is just Vanessa"

"Have you ever thought about looking for them? Your birth parents?" Amy asks.

I shake my head. "I'm not interested in finding my birth parents and I don't think they're interested in being found. You guys are the best, I don't have a reason to go and find people who didn't want me past the age of two"

John nods his head but Amy looks deep in thought. I give them both a small smile and stand up.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, Anna and Henry should be here soon" I say to the both of them.