Break Me

chapter thirty-two

My feet tingle every time they hit the pavement as I walk down the street. I wasn't going to stop at the orphanage but I'm glad I did. I won't be able to get back those degrading years of my life but at least I put them to rest. I can move on. Well almost, which is why I have to make one more stop before I go back to Connecticut.

The place is only down the block so there was no need for the car service. I turn the corner and spot the familiar brick townhouse. I open the metal gate and close it behind me, then walk up the three small steps. I take a deep breath and knock on the door.

The door opens and I watch as my ninth grade english teacher appears in the doorway.

"Hey Ms. Jane" I grin as she looks at me in astonishment.

"Vanessa?" she asks in shock.

I nod my head. "Can I come in?" I chuckle.

She nods her head viciously. "Of course, of course. It's freezing out there"

She ushers me inside. I step into her house and I'm immediately hit with warmness and the smell of fresh gingerbread cookies. She makes the best gingerbread cookies.

I take off my coat as we walk into the kitchen. I stuff my hat in the sleeve of my coat and then drape my coat over the back of a chair. She brings a plate of cookies over and sets them in the middle of her small round cherry wood table.

"What brings you back here? Last I heard you were off to Connecticut" she says sitting down.

Her brown hair is clipped up in the back with one of those large hair clips. It's the hairstyle she wears the most. Thin strands of silver streak through her hair, I remember she used to dye them but I guess she stopped.

"I actually came back to talk to you" I say sitting down in the chair across from her.

"You know I was quite upset that you didn't tell me you were getting adopted. One day you just stopped coming to school, I had to ask around to find out" she raises an eyebrow.

"I know and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you" I sigh. "I didn't think it was going to happen. I thought it would fall through so I didn't say anything"

She nods her head. "Alright well," she smiles "how are they? How is your new family?"

"They're great" I smile. "Probably very upset with me right now, but yeah they're amazing"

I have so many missed calls and text messages from them. I feel bad for ignoring them but I really just needed to do this by myself. I hope they are at least a tiny bit understanding.

"Vanessa what did you do" she narrows her eyes at me.

"I left at about four in the morning to catch a bus here. I left a note but I haven't spoken to them all day"

I show her all the missed calls and messages. There are some from Anna and a boatload from Mason too.

She sighs and shakes her head. "You need to call them hun, they are probably worried sick"

"I know and I will. I just really needed to come back here and talk to you" I sit my phone down and look at her.

"Take a cookie" she says pushing the plate towards me. I grab a gingerbread man and take a bite. Her cookies are seriously delicious. "Alright hun, what's going on"

"I know that before I left I was a lot different. I didn't talk as much and my social skills were pretty much nonexistent. This is probably the most you've heard me talk in a while" I chuckle lightly.

She grins nodding her head.

"But you didn't give up on me. You always said that I was going to have a bright future, that I was going to be someone, go places, even though I never believed you. I couldn't see it, but you could. How did you know? I mean how did you know a person like me could ever have anything good in life?"