Blue Night

TWENTYTWO

Days have past simula nung huling nagkausap kami ni Arc. I didn't know kung bakit hindi ito tumatawag man lang para kamustahin ako.

Hindi na ba nya ko namimiss ? Baka hindi kana mahal nun sabi ng isip ko.

Umiiling agad ako hindi naman siguro gagawin sakin ni Arc yun. Sa isip isip ko.

Madalas ang tumatawag lang sakin ay ang kanyang sekretarya para ipalaalam sakin na okay lang si Arc.

Nakuntento nalang ako don at inintindi sya na baka spbrang busy nya sa trabaho.

"Mukhang hindi tayo namimiss ni Daddy baby." Kausap ko sa munting anghel na nasa aking tyan.

Andto ako sa library ng aming bahay. Nagbabasa lang ako ng pregnancy guide para mas maging healthy ang baby ko.

When someone interrupt me as I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." Sigaw ko.

Agad namang niluwa niyon si Eace na nakatingin lang saakin.

"Halika umupo ka dito." I said at iminwestra sakanya ang upuan na katabi ko.

Nakatingin kami ngayon sa magandang tanawin sa labas. Kitang kita dito ang buong city of Manila. Maganda ang view dito at nakakarelax kaya naman mas pinili ko dito magbasa. Para na din madistract ako sa sobrang pagkamiss ko kay Arc.

"How are you?" Basag sa katahimikan ni Eace.

"Good." I simply replied.

"Did you take your vitamins?" He ask in a concern voice. Mukhang nagaalala sakin ang kaibigan.

Naikwento ko kasi sakanya na madalang nalang kung tumawag sakanya si Arc kaya siguro andito ito para maibsan ang kalungkutan ko. What a great friend that I have.

I'am lucky to have Eace with me around.

Tinitigan nya ko. At marahan naman akong tumango at napabuntong hininga.

"I'm really okay." I said convincing him

"I know you. Of all the people here kilala kita simula ulo hanggang paa." He said in a serious voice.

I sighed and look at him with teary eye.

"Okay. I miss him so bad Eace. Nagaalala ako kung kumain naba sya, kung anong ginagawa nya, baka meron na syang ibang nakilalang mas magandang babae doon. Pano kung iwan na nya ko." I said an a tear began to run down at my cheecks.

He hug me trying to comfort me.

"Shhh. Its. Okay everything would be okay." He said and caresess my hair.

"Whenever I talk to his secretary lagi lang nyang sinasabi na okay ito at maraming ginagawa kaya hindi sya nito matawagan. Pero namimiss ko na sya ano man lang yung tawagan nya ko kahit one minute lang." I winned like a lost kid.

He huss me and hug me so tight.

"I'm here huh. I would do everything for my princess. Stop crying okay hindi makakatulong sayo yan." He said and caresess my tummy.

"Baby napakaiyakin naman ng mommy mo. Pagsabihan munsya ha. Baka pumanget ka nyan kung iiyak sya ng iiyak." Eace said on my tummy jokingly na nagpatawa sakin.

"Kainis ka." At hinampas ko ang kanyang braso.

"There tumatawa kana." He said at naupo na kaming dalawa na tinatanaw ang magandang tanawin.

"I have a question..." Eace said at tumingin naman ako sa gawi nya at inaanray ang kanyang sasabihin.

He sighed and look at the window.

"What if malaman na nya ang nakaraan mo ?" Seryosong tanong nya.

I look at the window also. And sighed.

"Wala naman akong magagawa. Malalaman at malalaman pa din naman nya." I said a matter of fact.

"Wala ka pa ding balak sabihin sakanya?" He ask again.

My forhead crease at hinarap sya na tila ba nahihirapan akong huminga dahil sa mga tanong nya. I feel heavy on my chest.

"Hindi ko kayang sabihin sakanya. I know I'm being selfish here, but I'm scared so so scared. I don't think he would accept me. Being a mistress from the past is a big mistake." I said at bahagyang napapailing

"Hindi mo naman kasalanan kung anong nangyare sa nakaraan. Nagmahal ka lang naman. Hindi mo din naman alam noon." He said and tap my back.

"Still I become a mistress before no one could accept that bibihira lang. I'm scared if I tell him my past he might live me." I sad smile cross on my lips as I stared at the window.

Pareho kaming nagulat ni Eace ng biglang bumukas ng malakas ang pinto. Nanlalaki ang matang tinignan ko kung sino ang nasa pintuan.

Madilim ang kanyang mga mata na nakatingin sakin. His eyes were darker that means he is mad.

Mukhang narinig na lahat ni Arc ang usapan namin. I sighed wala namang sikretong hindi nabubunyag. Sabi ko isip ko.

"So it is true na wala ka talagang balak sabihin sakin." He said in a cold voice.

Its give me shiver that I coudn't know what should I do.

I face Eace na seryosong nakatingin kay Arc his jaw clench at tila pinagpapasensyahan ang lalaking kaharap nito.

"Eace you should go home." I said looking at him.

"Are you okay here?" He ask in a concern voice.

I just nodded in response.

"Call me whenever happens okay." He said. I just nodded my head.

As Eace close the door, I sighed and face the man who is fuming mad. Kahit natatakot ay kailangan ko pa din syang harapin.

"So all this tkme wala ka talagang balak sabihin sakin." He state at napapailing pa. He loom at me with dagger in his eyes.

Napapikit naman ako at umiling. Nagbabadya ng tumulo ang luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan.

"Alam mo bang mukha akong tanga doon sa conference namin. Imagine Monia and her husband is there, at pinamukha lang naman sakin ni Monica na nagpakasal ako sa babaeng hindi ko pa lubos na kilala!" He said shouting me.

Nagulat naman ako sa kanyang pagsigaw at hindi ko na mapigilang hindi mapaiyak dahil sa sinabi nya.

Yeah right I'am a selfish bitch.

"Let me explain." I said between in my tears.

"Explain?" He mocking at me. Akmang lalapitan ko sya ng umatras sya.

He look at me with anger is visible in his eyes. Parang ibang Arc ang nakikita ko ngayon sa aking harapan.

"I feel betrayed, how come my wife become a mistress, bakit hindi ko kaagad nalaman. I feel stupid. Veey stupid! I married a mistress. Pinagmukha mo kong tanga!" He shout again in me.

Napapikit nalang ako sa sakit ng mga sinabi nya. I deserve it anyway.

I feel lost as of the moment. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Dahil amsakit palang makita na yung taong mahal mo ng sobra sobra ay nasasaktan dahil sa sarili mong kagagahan.

And one more tjing I realize that this love of us is not that strong enough.