Blue Night

TWENTYTHREE

"Are you done judging me ?" I ask in a cold voice.

He look at me with disbelief.

"Wow. Looks like your the one who's mad huh." He mock at me

I wipe my tears at tinapangan ang tingin sakanya.

Ang sakit dahil sobrang bilis lang sakanya na husgahan ako. I cleared my troat and look at him with a cold eyes.

"Yes. I become a mistress, not that I know that I'm being a mistress already. Imagine because I love him so much I become like a fool the fct that I'm intellegent at everything." I laugh with no emotions.

Nagsisimula nanamang akong maiyak dahil saking nakaraan.

"My friends told me that my boyfriend is already married. And I didn't believe them. Hindi ko naman kasi nakikita at nararamdaman. He is so sweet and caring. Lagi pang may oras para sakin." I gulped na para bang may nakabara sa lalamunan ko.

"Suddenly my parents got angry at me because they believe in my friends. Then I ask my boyfriend to tell the truth. He just said that he didn't marry anyone just me who he likes to marry. Imagine pinaglaban ko sya sa mga magulang ko. Then they disowed me dahil hindi ako nakikinig sakanila. Bumukod ako ng bahay minsan nalang ako makarinig ng balita sakanila pagnagtatanong ako sa mga kapatid ko." I smile sadly at him he look at me intently at bahagyang lumambot ang kanyang tingin saakin.

"Tapos ng magkita kami ng magulang nya. Agad nila kong kinausap na layuan ko na daw ang anak nila dahil kasal na ito sa iba. Tsk. Pinaglaban ko yung hindi naman deserving para sa pagmamahal ko. I confront him at wala na syang masabi kundi ang oo kasal na ako." At tuluyan na kong napaiyak sa sakit ng nakaraan. Nakatitig lang sya sakin at nakikinig.

"You know when you fight too long pero nagmukha kang tanga. Pinaglaban ko yun ee. Kaso hidni pala tamang ipaglaban ko sya. That time I decided to broke up with him. Hindi ko naman alam na ginawa nya kong kabit. All of the time that we spend its looks like he love me that much that he coudn't betrayed me." I said in so much pain in my voice.

I look at him at tila nawala na ang galit sa kanyang mga mata.

I smile bitterly.

"I bet your love to me is too weak to judge me like that. And I understand maybe we need to become a strong to face the love and commitment we have." A sad smile cross on my lips.

And when I look at him. Hindi ko napansing umiiyak napala sya. I didn't know kung anong nasa isip nya hindi ko mabasa ang emosyon na nasa mga mata nya, nasasaktan ba sya sa katotohanan o naaawa sa mga pinagdaanan ko. He look like a mess as well as I am.

"I know you didn't accept me being a mistress before. I'am sorry for hurting you.' I said and sobbed even more.

"I told you before that you should find out everything on me. Kasi alam kong darating ang araw na malalaman mo lahat lahat."

Lumapit ako sakanya at banayad na hinawakan ang kanyang pisngi na punong puno ng nga luha.

I wipe his tears using my tumb.

"Don't worry. I know you didn't accept this. And I'am willing to wait til you accept everything." I smile at him bitterly.

"And one more thing congratulations you'll become a daddy soon." I said and smile at him. He look at me with a wide eyes and his lips form in an O.

"Hindi ko ipagkakait sayo ang magiging anak mo. Kung yun ang inaalala mo." Binitawan ko na ang kanyang pisngi. I grab my phone at agad agad na lumabas sa library room. Narinig ko pa ang kanyang paghagulgol bago ko tuluyang nakalabas.